Would you judge

[notherNCuser]

Young professional couple in their early mid 20s engaged to be married, been together almost 4 years and in house together for over 18 months. We will both be under 25 on the day we want to get married.

Most relatives are happy and excited but had a couple of comments one about us being incredibly young and what’s the rush, another less kind saying we were trying to play grown ups etc

I agree it is young, no question of that. First of our friends to get married. But is it really too young? Paranoid now that this will be everyone’s silent thoughts and I don’t want that putting a cloud over the day!

• We have been cohabiting and our finances, credit scores are already therefore connected
• I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. We have faced difficulties together and seen the best and worst of each other, and communicate very well with a good balance of 50:50
• We understand the magnitude of the commitment that marriage is, and that it’s not all sunshine and roses
• Our parents were both slightly older having us so we would really like for them to be in their 60s whilst their grandchildren are young, rather than any older
• Biologically speaking I would prefer to have our child/children before I am 30
• We want to share a family name before having children, and although we earn equally it is an extra layer of protection for me should things go belly up

YABU - I would still silently judge you for being young and be raising an eyebrow over it

YANBU - age makes no difference

No, I would be very happy for you. Met my DH in our teens and we married at 24. Still very happily married just under 9 years later and we have been through the best and worst of times together.

"You don't want your children to be independent, have good jobs, their own home, and a happy relationship? How bizarre."

I want all of those things for them. I don't want them to get married. And I don't want my daughter to change her name.

I don't mean this to be harsh but yes they might not. Do you both have solid careers?

Congratulations
Tell them to mind their own business

Surely that's her choice. And again, none of your business.

Some friends who married straight from school are still together. Others in their 30s got divorced. You do you OP, and have a lovely day x

I met my now DH at 19, moved in together shortly after, bought our first house at 21, pregnant at 22, married at 24, pregnant again at 24 now ttc for a third time at 28.

Stuff the comments you've been getting, when you know, you know.

Congratulations to you both, enjoy celebrating and don't invite those trying to bring you down!

😮 yes we do.

It's none of their business. You're 25 not 17

Not getting divorced at the drop of a hat does not equal a 60 year slog. You can't be selfish all the time.

@Cosyblankets
"Surely that's her choice. And again, none of your business."

Of course it is. But I was asked my opinion. Which I gave.

met at 17 he 19 married when i was 19 him 21 coming up to 48 yrs married this August congratulations to you both x

Congratulations. According to some on this thread you must be in an unhappy slog.

@kitsuneghost "Not getting divorced at the drop of a hat does not equal a 60 year slog. You can't be selfish all the time."
If you're happily married that's wonderful. But what's selfish about wanting a divorce if you're not happy?

I was married at 25 (I'm 30 now) I don't consider it to be significantly young but good luck, congratulations

I was pretty much in the same situation, got married 26 and pregnant 27. It was classed as super early in our business but I’m considering a third child and most of my colleagues are just having their first babies at 33-36 age range.

We over paid our mortgage and moved to a bigger house age 29 (buying first house at 23/24).

Only things it hampered is our careers, other people have definitely excelled more but I’m comfortable with my salary and wanted to be married / have kids more than any promotion

Someone will always judge you no matter what so don't worry about it! I had my first child at 20, got married at 24 and had my 2nd child at 24 and had my 3rd at 26, im 39 now and still married and don't regret a second of my life. Do what's best for you, noone else matters as long as you and the person you're marrying are happy.

Age is not the only consideration so it's hard to be sure, not knowing either of you or your circumstances. It is young for these days but not desperately young. A couple of years on, it would seem more appropriate, I suppose. My parents married at 25/26 and within 6 months of meeting which would seem crazy to many now.

My eldest is 22 and I can't imagine them married by 24, though they are in a stable relationship (but partner is some years younger anyway).

They say the brain keeps maturing till around 25, so that's a consideration maybe? I'm not sure it would be wise to rush into having all your children by 30, but there again, maybe I'm judging by the fact I definitely didn't feel ready to be a parent at 24.

If you have doubts yourself, maybe you need to slow things down. (If you haven't any doubts, I'm not sure why you are posting.)

jane1956 · Today 17:08

met at 17 he 19 married when i was 19 him 21 coming up to 48 yrs married this August congratulations to you both x

Congratulations. According to some on this thread you must be in an unhappy slog.
absolutely not had ups and downs struggled with money but still love each other he is my best friend

@jane1956 "Congratulations. According to some on this thread you must be in an unhappy slog."
10 quid to a charity of your choice if you can back up that statement.

CurlewKate · Yesterday 18:45
@jane1956 "Congratulations. According to some on this thread you must be in an unhappy slog."
10 quid to a charity of your choice if you can back up that statement.

an how do i do that? do you want to come round to see that we are happy?

@hattyhathat someone saying they're too young, isn't saying that either of them could do better!
🙄

Hmm very odd then.

But yeah if it's coming from his family I don't think they like you. Just ignore them.

Maybe maybe not. Just something for OP to consider as they are a perfectly reasonable age to get married

@CurlewKate 2 photos 48 years apart is that proof?