Not to want our children to eat red meat?

[Flymeaway4]

I'm vegetarian, have been for 20 years, partner is not. Since before they were born, I've said I'll let them have chicken, fish etc, but not red meat including pork. Once they're old enough to properly understand that meat was once an animal, then they can decide for themselves whether they want to eat red meat too, or be vege if they like, their choice. Partner thinks I'm ridiculous and said "why can't she have a ham sandwich" at a party yesterday, "what harm will it do". There were plenty of other options there anyway: chicken, cheese and egg sandwiches, quiche, fruit etc.

In case you think it's relevant, my reasoning behind no red meat is that I think cows and pigs are too intelligent, they know exactly what is happening when they arrive at the abattoir and I think that's just too cruel (and lambs are babies). Allowing chicken and fish, until they can make their own informed decision, was my compromise. If it were purely up to me, I'd be happy raising them vege!

So, am I being unreasonable?

If you are Western. If you are from another culture, you often know how to do without red meat for generations. Our children grow up just fine.

Food I cook that Western GPs are unfamiliar with: fenugreek leaves, amaranthus leaves, 20 different types of lentils not just in daal, puffed rice.. the list goes on

GPs in general know next to nothing about nutrition. The only medical advice about diet worth getting is from a registered clinical dietician.

When this little the best thing is to have a balanced diet across the board, don’t restrict things unnecessarily.

when they are older they can make up their own minds - and then change it again if they wish!

Processed meat is dreadful for us....but I don't for a moment believe that a grass fed, organic steak is a carcinogen despite what the so called experts say. Its our natural diet.

Its the vegetable oils which are the enemy.

Anyway...what do your kids actually want op?

He cab believe them and still chose to eat meat..

What you should've done was aligned your beliefs with a life partner.

Now you have to accept that he can feed his children what he wants as can you.

Instead of basing the compromise on an arbitrary rule about eating one animal being okay and another being not okay, why not just reframe the issue in terms of at home/outside. At home your children can be vegetarian. Probably 95% of their nutrition comes from what is made for them at home. When they are at someone else's house/at a party, let them eat what they want. The idea that a couple of ham sandwiches per year is going to give someone cancer is frankly nonsensical. Feeding them ham every day is a different matter. I really think you should just relax the rules when they're at parties etc. If you are a good vegetarian cook, it will still be the food they consider "normal" later in life.

Please tell me you don't think that 'lamb' is literally the little baby lambs at the age you see running around in spring?

What lamb do you think gets eaten the rest of the year?

I’m vegan, my partner eats some meat, dairy and eggs.

When our kids were young, I let them choose what they wanted to eat when out. At home, it was vegan if I was making their food and it may have contained meat/dairy/eggs if my partner was.

One of my children was vegetarian by age 6 and is now vegan as a teenager. My other child became vegetarian as a teenager and remains so as an adult. No dairy, just eggs. He’s considering being vegan.

Interestingly, they both say they think we should have raised them vegetarian.

As much as I hate the cruelty involved, you have to take your partners feelings into account and realise how difficult it is for children when they’re different to others.

This is good advice. I wanted my kids to be mostly veggie and eat veggies as mains, not an afterthought. Which they still are.

If it is for ethical reasons you are much better off letting them eat British beef and lamb. Chicken is factory farmed and very cruel.

Surely either you are a vegetarian for ethical reasons and believe that killing animals for food is wrong...or you're not?

Surely the compromise is feeding them a balanced diet with a wide variety of tastes and textures so that they can make an informed decision when old enough?

I don't eat a lot of red meat, my dd who is 11 has just decided after a lot of reading and thinking that she wants to be a pescatarian. My ds doesn't eat any fish and dh eats anything. But everyone made their own decision when able.

There's a lot of pescatarians who don't eat 'meat' for ethical/cruelty reasons. Makes no sense....

Sorry but I think the some meat but not others thing is a bit silly. I'm vegetarian and so is my child.

It's for the same reason as you. I don't want her to eat a dead animal until she understands that decision

But it would be a bit of a mindfuck for her if she decided that yes she wanted to keep being vegi as she felt bad about animal slaughter but that she'd been fed dead birds for years

@redboxer321 my iron levels do seem to agree with his message and the side effects of tablets are unpleasant so I’ll stick with red meat once or twice a week as that’s keeping my levels up following an infusion.

"I think that's just too cruel (and lambs are babies).

The read meat labelled " lamb" that's sold in UK. is not from "baby animals". Its from fully grown, full size sheep under the age of 12 months. It looks (and acts) nothing like a little skinny skippy fluffy newborn sheep. Just like, the chicken you feed your children, is a full grown bird, not a tiny yellow ball of cheeping fluff.

The reason sheep are sent to slaughter fully grown is because the weight of the carcase represents its market value to the farmer who raised it.

I suggest you get better educated about livestock farming in UK.

Op you would have been better to raise your children as vegetarian, but compromising and watering down your values so much you are now wide open for people to say what’s the difference between one animal or another.

I am vegetarian of 38 years, both children have always been vegetarian. My dh eats meat . When we became serious I told him I could never allow my children to eat flesh, blood or tissue from any animal. We agreed our dc would decide for themselves once they were of an age to know they were eating a baby lamb or the body of a real duck. They are adult and teens now and wouldn’t touch meat.
Their choice.

In your position - compromised as it is from s weak start. Sit down and discuss with your children why you are vegetarian and tell them the absolute truth.
People eat those beautiful lambs in the fields, they eat rabbits, small chickens and pigs. I would tell dc they have the choice.. A ham sandwich is a chopped up pig sliced in bread.

Your dp needs to learn to respect your choices and those his children will soon make.
It is okay to decide your children are going to be vegetarian. The health benefits alone are enormous. Even if I wasn’t vegetarian there is no way I would allow my dc to eat meat packed full of antibiotics, hormones etc. On those grounds alone it would be a no from me.

My husband doesn’t eat red meat … hasn’t since he was a teenager, so me & DD don’t have it too much. I will sometimes cook two separate things, or if it’s a “look after yourself” night, we’ll cook separate things.

It’s never really been a problem, my family have always respected his choices (he gets a lot of Cheese Pie … which he loves)

Being veggie or vegan is so completely normal now that I'm amazed at some if the comments here.clearly it's a health concern feeding kids red meat so go with that rather than pure speciesism,but why not compromise with agreeing that when they are older they can make the active choice to eat animals if they do wish once they are capable of understanding (the horror).mine are veggie and if they want to eat meat when older of course they can if they can truly understand(I'd take them to an abbatoir first) but why set them up to finding a veggie diet harder than it should be by having them eat animals before they understand?your DH is being unreasonable to want to give them carciogens,you are being unreasonable discriminating between animals that can be eaten.chickens are highly intelligent and why is intelligence the determinant of being ok to eat?

Even if I wasn’t vegetarian there is no way I would allow my dc to eat meat packed full of antibiotics, hormones etc. On those grounds alone it would be a no from me

If you are in the UK then very strict rules prevent antibiotics from reaching the food chain. Artificial growth hormones are banned.

Grass fed cattle have a much better life than chickens. A little high welfare meat is better then lots of cheap chicken or fish.
If I genuinely didn’t want to eat animals then I wouldn’t be able to eat any animals.

You can't force them to an abbatoir 🤣 many children to veggies choose to become omni. It's just as valid choice as being veggie and doesn't require a consequence.

My dc were always very popular kids so would often talk about being a vegetarian with pride. All of their friends became veggies too!
Its very cool these days and kids today are very aware of environmental issues.

Make some carefully crafted protein rich dinners ( so many choices these days!) and every child should have vitamins anyway especially in the winter and be confident in your choices. My eldest dd is a sports scholar and 5ft 10 and her siblings are slim, athletic and super healthy. I would say as a parent it’s the best decision I ever made - and all of my dc have thanked me. The idea of eating flesh horrifies them.

Try venison and other wild game. Yummy.

Kangaroo and Crocodile is honestly up there with some of the best meats I've tried.