Not to want our children to eat red meat?

[Flymeaway4]

I'm vegetarian, have been for 20 years, partner is not. Since before they were born, I've said I'll let them have chicken, fish etc, but not red meat including pork. Once they're old enough to properly understand that meat was once an animal, then they can decide for themselves whether they want to eat red meat too, or be vege if they like, their choice. Partner thinks I'm ridiculous and said "why can't she have a ham sandwich" at a party yesterday, "what harm will it do". There were plenty of other options there anyway: chicken, cheese and egg sandwiches, quiche, fruit etc.

In case you think it's relevant, my reasoning behind no red meat is that I think cows and pigs are too intelligent, they know exactly what is happening when they arrive at the abattoir and I think that's just too cruel (and lambs are babies). Allowing chicken and fish, until they can make their own informed decision, was my compromise. If it were purely up to me, I'd be happy raising them vege!

So, am I being unreasonable?

90% of pigs in the U.K. are factory farmed. They do scream when they are gassed too.

As an ex chicken-keeper who 'grew my own'... chickens also know what's happening to them, especially in a slaughterhouse. You undervalue them massively. They're just as sentient as pigs or cows.

YABU and illogical. I don't eat meat, DH does, DS has always been given a free choice. Our compromise, which DH fully supported, is that we only buy organic meat in the hope that it was more humanely raised and slaughtered. As a result they both eat very little but better quality meat, and our diet is mainly vegetarian/ vegan.

As a vegetarian bringing my children up to be the same, I think you’re being daft. You either think it’s okay for animals to die so people can eat them or you don’t. And this stuff should be discussed properly before you have children.

I'm sorry but your explanation about chicken and fish versus red meat is ridiculous. It must be confusing for the children and really frustrating for your husband. It just doesn't make sense. Either put your foot down and don't allow them to eat any meat. Or stop discriminating against the animals and let them choose for themselves.

Nothing wrong with wanting to raise your child as a vegetarian. Quite common in Indian families. Red meat isn't healthy as well

You’re a hypocrite, and not well informed if you think sheep are more intelligent than chickens.

I'm an omnivore and I restrict the amount of red meat from my dc's diet, simply because of the health risks mentioned by pp. I think your reasoning is a bit illogical but it's a good thing to do for health reasons, so you might as well restrict it anyway. I'm fairly liberal with restrictions though - I limit the amount of red meat in food that I give the dc directly at home or in lunchboxespecially. But I would let them choose at a party, and for school lunches, and eating at relatives houses, because I don't like to make a big deal of it.

I'm a vegetarian parent with two omnivore kids (13 and 16), both of whom have had periods of veggie and non veggie eating. It's maybe more simple in our house because my partner is vegetarian also. My approach is that all meals I cook for the family are 100% vegetarian, except on pizza Saturdays when the kids can have some kind of meat topping on their pizza if they want (they always do want). Every so often I'll make fajitas, which are a family favourite, and I'll buy chicken breasts for their filling - I make ours with portobello mushrooms.

Sometimes my partner will do a burger night and they will have beef burgers then.

So we're a bit more flexible I guess, mainly as a result of having kids that have gone through very picky eating stages. I know a lot of vegetarians would baulk at cooking meat or having meat in the house even if they weren't eating it themselves. However I tend to think of it in terms of reducing our overall household consumption of meat and where I do buy and cook meat, I make sure it's as high welfare as possible. And as a former vegan, I'm highly aware that there's as much - maybe more - cruelty involved in dairy and egg production as in meat production so ethically it's all a bit of a quagmire really.

YANBU. Children should not be fed ham, nor any other processed meats, such as salami, peperoni, chorizo, bacon etc, as such meats are known to be carcinogenic. There is also a strong link between the consumption of red meats and cancers of the colon and rectum.

If your DH doesn't share your animal welfare concerns around meat consumption, perhaps he might take note of the health concerns, if you were to show him the evidence-based advice from cancer prevention and research organisations?

Your arbitrary decisions are ridiculous. I’m a vegetarian but you’d piss me off with that nonsense.

So they don’t get to decide over eating a chicken but they can decide over a cow??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

They could probably eat 100 meals containing beef, and they'd probably eat the equivalent of 1 cow, whereas if they ate 100 chicken dishes, they'd have eaten around 25 chickens. So your compromise is actually causing more animals to die.

Your husband is just as much their parent as you, he gets just as much say in what they eat as you. Your opinion is no more correct than his.

I am vegetarian, and just brought my kids up vegetarian. When they grew up, they began eating chicken and seafood in their teens, They still don't eat red meat.

We know how to cook vegetables, so no they are not deficient in anything, to forestall that question.

Just to feed my board Sunday Curiosity do you value humans with intellectual disabilities less valuable and sentient than those with high IQs?

I think its ridiculous to be ok with some meat and not others based on the colour of their flesh

Honestly i really object to the restriction of a child's diet for anything other than medical reasons.

It's hard enough getting children to eat a wide enough diet without excluding categories that are packed with healthy nutrients.

If you're low on intelligence, you deserve cruelty and an untimely death? Careful with your logic, there, OP.

If you are worried about cruelty the Dairy industry is far worse.

I have an iron deficiency and my gp t told me to never go veggie and make sure I include red meat in my diet as it’s easy for the body to absorb iron from. I eat loads of green veg but apparently it’s harder for the body to fully absorb the iron. I’d never limit a growing child’s diet without medical advice.

I voted Abu as o think your logic about intelligence is flawed. It’s entirely ridiculous.

and also I grew up on a ‘no red meat’ household. It’s a pain as a kid. Always being slightly different. Can have a chicken sandwich but not a ham one? It’s easier to just be vegetarian or not.

My friend spent a fortune on vegetarian party food to include her dds friend once, only to find out she wasn’t really vegetarian but it’s easier to tell people that so they don’t serve red meat.

GP sounds a bit stuck in the past and/or narrow minded.

@Flymeaway4 your reasoning is crazy. They are all animals. You do sound very domineering tbh.

Your reasons are ridiculous. You can feed them what you like but their father can also feed them what he likes and a ham sandwich is fine.

I'll admit I'm very conflicted myself about it all, but, this was my attempt at compromise. I thought thats what joint parenting should be about, no? Any other suggestions as to what a good compromise would look like? Children are 2yrs and 10months, so they cannot yet decide for themselves. And I'm also very aware of the carcinogen and environmental arguments too, which he doesn't deny but seemingly doesnt want to believe either, despite the evidence (as that may mean changing his own food choices too)