Shamed for going to Pizza Express

[Pizzaexpressshame]

This has been on my mind for a few days. Newish friend and I met up one time and I told her how I was in the same area just a week ago with a friend and we had lunch at pizza express. We planned to meet but not much else, so when we got there we were hungry and PE was just the next thing we walked by.

She pulled a face, saying why pizza express, she knows better places, why did you go there etc. A couple weeks later I met her again at a place she chose and had been to before, which also did pizza and pasta. After we ate she said to me 'So what do you think of this place? I find it much better than Pizza Express'. I just said the food was nice but nothing I hadn't had before.

I felt so looked down upon as if I needed to be shown a better place to have lunch at. I find this friend generally exhausting, as in every conversation, every topic, she needs to come out on top. She had also made some racist remarks a few months ago, which I let slide.

Anyway, I have decided I let go of things friend and know how I am going to do it if she wants to meet up again. I won't ghost her. It was on my mind all week, but I feel really good about myself now. Putting myself first and being assertive. I'll find myself another new friend as I don't feel great around her.

@RobertaFirmino mind sharing your favourite put downs for racists here?

This is no friend. I have a friend who likes to eat in McDonalds. I have grown out of fast food, but it would NEVER cross my mind to say anything disparaging, because we go to meet up with each other. Incidentally, I used to always love KFC, but now I just think it is a bit expensive for what you get.

I love Pizza Express.

She sounds incredibly exhausting. It must be mentally draining to spend company with an energy vampire.

'Where on earth did you hear THAT?'
'Goodness me, you don't believe everything you read in the paper do you?'
'So many of these asylum seekers are men because they want to earn money to send home to their wives and children. A lot more honourable than some of the men round here, don't you think?'
'Are you really judging someone by the amount of pigment in their skin?'
'What kind of thicko told you that's what Muslims/Blacks/Jews do? Aren't they silly!'
'Muslims are a damn sight cleaner than your average Brit. They have to wash all the time for religious reasons'
'Nobody is forcing her to wear it, in the UK it is a choice. This isn't Afghanistan, you know'
'Their book says beating your wife is forbidden, but you get abusive men in all cultures. Especially ours.'
'I'm delighted to have immigrants personally, all those wonderful doctors' (Although this is 'nice racism' strictly speaking)
'But your surname is Irish/Slavic/French/whatever. That means your own ancestors must have been immigrants who came to this country for a better life'
'Oh piss off Adolf, I'd swap you for a thousand Orthodox Jews any day of the week!'

I get why you didn't challenge PizzaSnob, when we don't know what to say or how to react, it feels easier to say nothing. Especially if that person has made us feel about an inch tall in other ways. We lack the confidence to challenge them for fear of being further flattened. Most of the time, people get their ideas from Facebook or the Daily Fail. They just take what they see as fact. We can always say 'What makes you say that?' and follow up with 'I'm not sure that's true you know. You might want to Google that when you get a minute'.

YANBU to find her behaviour tedious but YABU to continue to see her…

just ditch her OP and spend time with someone that you enjoy being around!

The racism is worst. Call her out and shame her on her racism. Then ditch her. Fully.

This!

Exactly this. Racism seems to be fine, but God forbid she'd have an opinion on your choice of pizza.

I've not read the whole thread but has anyone mentioned Prince Andrew yet?

Next time she suggests lunch, offer to take her to Pizza Hut so that she can try real Italian food for a change. You won’t see her for dust.

In the 90s, I had an Italian neighbour and asked him for his recommendation for a good pizza restaurant. You've guesssd if.... PE!!!! (I
Was hoping for some family run little gem that. OP's friend would approve of). Anyway, yes I am also a big PE fan. I love their mini desserts with coffee.

She also doesn't like cats. She actually dislikes them. I could never invite her to my home for that reason alone. Think she'd find fault with most things in my home, which I bought. But she's renting a room because she couldn't buy. Turned up her nose at many houses.

I feel really relieved to have made the decision to end this after months of all sorts of things that didn't sit right with me. Many of her comments and behaviour made me uncomfortable and I never got the chance to have deeper conversations with her to see who she truly is as a person.

Oh several times. Not as funny as those posters like to think!

Pizza Express for lunch is good value. It’s nothing special but it’s still nice tasty food and they always have a deal on which makes it affordable. I think your friend is being snobbish nothing wrong with pizza express.

I love Pex. I won't eat pizza from anywhere else (except homemade because I make great pizza).

Your friend is silly, judgy and racist. You need nicer friends.

@YellowAndGreenToBeSeen

i live in Brighton and over the years have tried pizza in many of our (excellent) independent Italian restaurants including Donatellos, Al Duomo, VIP, Buon Appetito (RIP) and La Campannina. Not one of them is close to being as delicious as Pex.

they are all lovely restaurants - I'm going to Donatellos for my birthday this week, but I will stick to pasta and salad. When it comes to 🍕 it's Pex all the way for me.

The OP has explained what happened, and how she felt about it several times now. When you are trying to make friends with people, or meeting them for the first time, you can be caught off guard, and the OP has already said that they were trying to not repeat a previous pattern of rushing to judgement and binning people off right away. In this case, as it turned out, that might have been the wrong decision, but can we not allow people to make mistakes? Cancel culture seems to operate as if all our human interactions are straightforward and then berates people for not immediately disowning people before they have even had a chance to understand what is being said.

Well OP you can tell your friend from me that Prince William actually went for dinner at pizza express in my home town a few years ago! And I live in a very historical town with plenty of gorgeous places to eat!

I like that you want to tell her straight OP. Whether you do or not, you can rest satisfied that you are no longer friends because she's the one who's not good enough for you!

It's the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear 'Pizza Express' now.

You might want to point out to your snobbish friend that Pizza Express has been around since 1965 (they must be doing something right) and then ask her if she thinks the place she took you will still be around in 50 plus years?

Pizza Express is absolutely fine for a quick pizza or a ridiculous alibi. Your friend is BU.

😆

I must have sat in Prince Andrew's seat at some point (not much else to do in Woking)

I hope I didn't sit in any bodily emissions...like sweat...oh wait!

I don't think it is fair to defriend someone because they have more sophisticated food tastes than yourself.

Food is very important to some people and it is just a fact that chain type restaurants or not really offering an authentic experience. Some people are bothered about that, you clearly are not. But you can't blame someone for preferring a more authentic experience.