Shamed for going to Pizza Express

[Pizzaexpressshame]

This has been on my mind for a few days. Newish friend and I met up one time and I told her how I was in the same area just a week ago with a friend and we had lunch at pizza express. We planned to meet but not much else, so when we got there we were hungry and PE was just the next thing we walked by.

She pulled a face, saying why pizza express, she knows better places, why did you go there etc. A couple weeks later I met her again at a place she chose and had been to before, which also did pizza and pasta. After we ate she said to me 'So what do you think of this place? I find it much better than Pizza Express'. I just said the food was nice but nothing I hadn't had before.

I felt so looked down upon as if I needed to be shown a better place to have lunch at. I find this friend generally exhausting, as in every conversation, every topic, she needs to come out on top. She had also made some racist remarks a few months ago, which I let slide.

Anyway, I have decided I let go of things friend and know how I am going to do it if she wants to meet up again. I won't ghost her. It was on my mind all week, but I feel really good about myself now. Putting myself first and being assertive. I'll find myself another new friend as I don't feel great around her.

But criticising pizza express is enough to make you reconsider the friendship.

You need to reconsider your priorities OP.

I find it interesting that you would let racist comments slide but you're offended by her commenting on your lunch choices..

As an allergy mum chain restaurants are a godsend. I can walk into any PE and know I can get a gluten egg and dairy free pizza. Independent restaurants are a lottery, many roll eyes or insist cream isn't diary.

You should have ditched her because of the racism, but the remarks about PE seem pretty inoffensive to me. However, even if she was being rude it's OTT to have spent all week thinking about it. Just move on.

Eat half of the pizza and take the rest home, then you have plenty of room for tiramisu plus leftover pizza for breakfast. Also the chips made out of polenta with rosemary on 😊

I personally can’t stand pizza express but my partner is Italian and wouldn’t eat there so that’s fine! I do however eat at other chains such as the botanist and Franco Manca so I’m not anti chain restaurant

To me, PE is a happy medium - not too pricey when you’re desperate for food, nice enough for an occasion when you are on a budget. The restaurants are pleasant and the food is decent to good. Personally Y Y to dough balls and I like the salade nicoise!
However I agree with those who say the OP should have made more of a stand about the racist comments. It sounds as though the OP doesn’t really have much in common with the “friend”.

Nothing wrong with Pizza express except one that was local to me where my partner saw the chef drop a pizza straight out of the oven onto the floor then whisked it back up lightning speed and served it to the table behind.

People say the same thing to me about McDonald’s and then go to the Ivy and have a chicken and some chips which is more calories and lower welfare chicken but they think they are great!

I love (hate) the fact you rate dissing pizza express as worse than racism, which you could let slide

That's not shaming. Shaming is a public, collective, action. That's just one person being a dick

Your 'friend' sounds like a sitcom baddie. Probably showing my (low) level of sophistication but I've always thought of Pizza Express as being 'posh' fast food. 😳

Was it in Woking?

This.

Why didn't you ditch her at that point and tell her why?

Shame about the racism thing because this could have been a fab thread about how iconic pizza express is.

I have a friend who is very snobbish about chains and, when we meet up, they put a lot of effort into finding somewhere non chain, good reviews, a bit different etc.

researching and suggesting nice restaurants isn’t being snobby. Perhaps thank them for making the effort

As if this thread is 'Shamed for Pizza Express' and not 'I made a new friend and she's racist'. Madness.

Why would a lie have been the "correct" response?

I know everyone. The racist remarks. I should have ended it there and then. I was naive. Honestly thought she couldn't possibly have meant it the way she said it. I never heard anything like it, so I thought I'd get to know her better and be proved wrong. However, deeper conversations never materlialised because of how obsessed she is to come out on top for everything, so any interesting conversation just gets squashed by her needing to know and be better than me about absolutely everything, including PE.

There is no excuse for not challenging her there and then. I sat on this for months. I was someone who used to bin people very early and not making enough effort in getting to know them. So this was me trying to do better on the wrong occasion.

She sounds like a twat

It’s a perfectly acceptable place to go. As long as you don’t tell us you also suffered an overdose of adrenaline during the Falklands.

Your friend would have had a fit if she knew we once had lunch in McDonalds in Versailles. 😂I also ate in a 2 michelin star restaurant the other week. Sometimes convenience wins out over quality. I don't understand the need to judge.

I would have held back from going anywhere with your friend after the racist remark but anyway.... the thing with getting older is that you realise that you don't need to do anything for anyone if you don't want to. That includes accepting an invitation if she asks you somewhere. Up to you if you want to tell her straight why or just pull back and keep making excuses when she asks you.

@Anotherblueday One person can absolutely shame another. It doesn't need a whole mob. We have all shamed people throughout our lives. The key is to become aware and do better.

Pizza express is quite nice. I don’t really mind it. They’re relatively consistent and I quite like their garlic bread with cheese and cannelloni and a glass of white wine.

Your friend is missing out if she doesn’t go in Turkish restaurants though! She can’t be a food snob because there is absolutely no such thing as a bad Turkish restaurant. The food is always delicious!