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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think public nudity during the heatwave is an example of male entitlement

110 replies

Ihateyouiliveyou · 16/06/2023 09:12

Yesterday I went in to a kebab shop to get a pizza. I should preface this by saying I am aware of the heat and how uncomfortable it is for those working within kitchen environments. There were two people, a boy and a girl, who both looked about 16 working on the till. The girl was fully dressed (although in summer clothes) in short shorts and a crop top. However, the lad was wearing an apron but when he turned around I could see he just had his boxers on underneath the apron. This isn’t a one off either over the last few days I’ve seen scores of mainly teenage boys walking around topless in the heat when teenage girls seem capable of keeping fully clothed. I didn’t say anything at the time and I appreciate how warm it is. However, Aibu to think that this is an example of male entitlement that: 1) he didn’t worry whether it would make his female colleague feel uncomfortable and 2) the girl wouldn’t have been able to do that due to the risk of sexual harassment and the fact pubic nudity seems more acceptable from men than women. Aibu?

OP posts:
onefinemess · 16/06/2023 09:54

onefinemess · 16/06/2023 09:52

Yeah, absolutely sexist OP.

It's fucking ridiculous that teenage girls are prevented from working topless. In every other industry and workplace, we are free to walk around with our tits out, but for some (obviously sexist, misogynistic and oppressive) reason, teenage girls are treated differently.

If I'd been at that staff meeting, where her (assuming it's a male) boss told her she wasn't allowed to take her top off, I tell you what, he'd have had an ear full from me.

She must have been so traumatised, did you ask her if she was OK? Because not challenging sexist behaviour makes you complicit. If you see it, say it.

That poor girl has every right to serve customers with her bare breasts exposed, or to at least show a little side-boob under an apron.

That pig ignorant, sexist arsehole of a MALE (again assuming here) should be named and shamed for not I sitting that girl take her top off too.

insisting fucking auto correct.

Hoppinggreen · 16/06/2023 09:54

Fabellini · 16/06/2023 09:37

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen
I suspect if it’s a teenage girl then the shorts are going to be more like these than the ones you’ve pictured, and not much different to boxers really.
And to the poster concerned about his armpit hair getting in the food - if she was wearing a strappy top then any armpit hair she might have could just as easily do the same.

Teenage girls are unlikely to have any body hair these days

Fightyouforthatpie · 16/06/2023 09:54

This thread is MN really jumping the shark.

Kabbalah · 16/06/2023 09:57

AndrexPuppy · 16/06/2023 09:13

Didn’t happen, sorry

Yep, totally agree.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/06/2023 10:01

he didn’t worry whether it would make his female colleague feel uncomfortable

I missed the bit where you asked him if he'd checked if she was ok with it. If you didn't, then that statement is completely false. Albeit I don't think this is true in any way.

Fabellini · 16/06/2023 10:02

@Hoppinggreen agreed, but I was just getting het up about it!
I don’t think either of the alleged outfits were appropriate for a food outlet, but in terms of % of bare flesh on display, it sounds about even - given the boy had on an apron over his boxers.

PoppedNotFried · 16/06/2023 10:04

So unless men and women wear broadly the same amount of clothing, it’s “male entitlement”.

So how do you square that with the thousands of workplaces where women can wear smart but cool summer dresses and other clothes but men have to stick to trousers, shirt, and sometimes a tie? Or the mainly male dominated jobs like road maintenance where they have to wear heavy boots and hi-vis (although admitted can probably do shorts)?

There are examples of male entitlement all around us. Not sure why you’d feel the need to read it into this scenario.

JazbayGrapes · 16/06/2023 10:06

its not nudity, but wearing only underwear at work? especially around food? Eww!

Dotjones · 16/06/2023 10:08

I don't understand the problem, women are free to take their tops off just as much as men are. In fact, anyone can walk down the street completely naked if they choose to - contrary to popular belief it's not an offence to be naked, only if the intention is to harass or cause alarm or distress.

You should have tackled the girl and demanded that she was similarly undressed to the boy - it's pretty sexist of you to allow her to remain clothed whilst he's just in his underwear.

MissTrip82 · 16/06/2023 10:13

Dotjones · 16/06/2023 10:08

I don't understand the problem, women are free to take their tops off just as much as men are. In fact, anyone can walk down the street completely naked if they choose to - contrary to popular belief it's not an offence to be naked, only if the intention is to harass or cause alarm or distress.

You should have tackled the girl and demanded that she was similarly undressed to the boy - it's pretty sexist of you to allow her to remain clothed whilst he's just in his underwear.

You don’t understand the concern of someone wearing their undies as pants in a food service environment?

Really? You wouldn’t raise an eyebrow if you could see someone’s undies whilst they were making a kebab?

Liar.

I live somewhere where summers hit 40+ degrees. Everyone still wears something over their undies no matter what their job.

Surely the OP is joking.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 16/06/2023 10:14

Completely missing the point of the thread, I would have thought it was a safety hazard to work in a commercial kitchen with a bare top and bare legs.

vitahelp · 16/06/2023 10:14

We have the opposite issue at work (male dominated workplace) where men have been told they aren't allowed to wear shorts on hot days but women can wear summer dresses/sandals etc. The men here have expressed upset at this several times and feel it is unfair.

longwayoff · 16/06/2023 10:14

Stop it OP. It's too bloody hot to argue with you. Have a cold shower, it'll calm you down.

YouAreBeingUnbearable · 16/06/2023 10:15

No, sorry 😂 I’m just not buying that

lieselotte · 16/06/2023 10:15

I find it really annoying when men take their shirts off when it's hot. We do not need to see their beer bellies. But also - why do it? You're actually cooler when your clothes wick sweat away from your body.

Nevermind31 · 16/06/2023 10:15

i’d report that - being in touch with good in your underwear is unhygienic- and also a risk to the person in a kitchen dealing with hot oil etc.
but… the same applies to skimpy crop top and shorts

LaurieFairyCake · 16/06/2023 10:16

Anyone ruining food like the jam you described would get the cost of that deducted from their pocket money

I HATE wasted food !

WunWun · 16/06/2023 10:16

I don't know where you live, but I regularly see girls out in bikini tops and those shorts where you can see their actual bum cheeks and beyond.

WunWun · 16/06/2023 10:17

But yeah, the kebab shop thing is gross.

Mochudubh · 16/06/2023 10:17

I don't mind bare chests outdoors but I dislike it indoors where you have to be in closer proximity. I've worked in customer facing roles and used to hate my face being inches from some bloke's sweaty chest.

I think there should be "dress codes" in shops, public transport etc, at the discretion of the organisation/management that chests/nether regions and feet should be covered to be allowed entry. Even if it's just a vest, shorts and sandals.

viques · 16/06/2023 10:19

It might be the heat, but is anyone else having a private moment thinking about Michel Roux in their kitchen cooking up their lunch in a pinny ( he can use the stripey one, or the one with foxes) and a pair of boxers…….

Laiste · 16/06/2023 10:21

Women's top halves are considered private parts and men's aren't.

That's it really.

If i could walk around with my top off all day i'd join the blokes.

OP says the lad had an apron on. If it was a proper one covering any chest hair i wouldn't give a shite what he had on underneath.

Mochudubh · 16/06/2023 10:21

@viques It's definately the heat Envy (not envy),

EBearhug · 16/06/2023 10:24

We have the opposite issue at work (male dominated workplace) where men have been told they aren't allowed to wear shorts on hot days but women can wear summer dresses/sandals etc. The men here have expressed upset at this several times and feel it is unfair.

There have been protests in some workplaces in the past (and schools) where the men (and boys) wore skirts.

They could wear shorts in my last workplace (and the aircon could be fierce anyway,) but as I pointed out to one of my male colleagues, it's only social convention stopping him from wearing a skirt if he wants.

Maddy70 · 16/06/2023 10:24

Pants are no different to shorts. He was wearing an apron over the front. It must be horrible working in a hot kitchen I don't blame him