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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

614 replies

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:12

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85.
Thoughts ?

OP posts:
Dulra · 15/06/2023 09:09

Not being unreasonable to ask but I personally wouldn't do it, if she is angry with you if you decide to decline then she is BU

CrazyArmadilloLady · 15/06/2023 09:10

FloydPepper · 15/06/2023 09:06

That sounds pretty mercenary

reading the thread I’m surprised how many people won’t put themselves out for family or friends, and I’m pleased that, my family, and my friends, are not like that

Show quote history

Putting yourself out for people is completely different from asking people to them themselves out for you.

The latter is just monumentally rude.

Mothership4two · 15/06/2023 09:11

I think she is being really cheeky asking you OP especially as you don't have a give and take type of relationship. Yes, of course, you could just say no, but she has put the onus on you and it could feel a bit awkward for you - probably why you are asking us. I would never dream of asking this of my closest friends as I would not want to put them out and this would really put you out. I assume for that taxi price the airport is some way away from you and the round trip would take up a lot of your time/beauty sleep.

I would only do this for family. It would be a hard no from me and a f**k off under my breath!

Frabbits · 15/06/2023 09:12

Not unreasonable to ask.

Not unreasonable to say no if it's a pain in the arse, but if it's not that much of a hassle I would just do it.

Some people really overcomplicate this shit.

TrashyPanda · 15/06/2023 09:12

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:34

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER she ie going on holiday for leisure. She can afford a taxi but doesn't want to pay for one. It's a Sunday morning pick up 2am. In fact, the flight lands at 2am so maybe 3am by the time they clear security & get bags etc

The airport will have public transport of some sort, so she could get that to a town nearer home and then a taxi from there so it will be cheaper for her.

a pick- up at that time would be a no from me. Doesn’t she have family/other friends to ask?

NineOfNine · 15/06/2023 09:12

I don’t think she’s unreasonable to ask, but equally, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to say no.

And it would be extremely unreasonable of her to start guilt tripping or getting arsey if you did say no.

Personally, there’s very few people that I’d be agreeing to give a lift to at that time of night.

gloriousmulch · 15/06/2023 09:14

I'd do this for a mate, and hope they'd ask me before shelling out £85 for a taxi. But obviously it wouldn't be unreasonable to say no.

Topseyt123 · 15/06/2023 09:15

FloydPepper · 15/06/2023 09:06

That sounds pretty mercenary

reading the thread I’m surprised how many people won’t put themselves out for family or friends, and I’m pleased that, my family, and my friends, are not like that

Show quote history

I don't think it is mercenary at all. Our local airport (Stansted) charges £7 for pick up or drop off outside the terminal building and you only qualify for a discount card if you live within a 7 mile radius.

I do live that near and have a discount card, but I do not drive at night any longer anyway due to night vision issues. Even if my own DDs are using the airport at that time (it is also our local transport hub for trains and buses) I would rather they took a cab. I will even pay for that for my student DD3, who is still on student finance.

I think it is an unreasonable ask.

kweeble · 15/06/2023 09:15

I think people should aim to book flights etc at a time when they can get themselves to and from the airport. It’s part of the cost of the holiday and it’s not fair to disrupt someone else’s sleep for your own convenience.

lemonchiffonpie · 15/06/2023 09:15

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:34

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER she ie going on holiday for leisure. She can afford a taxi but doesn't want to pay for one. It's a Sunday morning pick up 2am. In fact, the flight lands at 2am so maybe 3am by the time they clear security & get bags etc

If it was a friend coming for a visit, fine, but unpleasant to do. But just to save money and have you hanging about an airport at 2, 3, whenever in the morning until her flight actually lands and the baggage is sorted...? Hell no. She could book a flight with a more reasonable landing time, or hang about in the airport until transport is more available to her home, or cough up for a cab.

amusedbush · 15/06/2023 09:16

I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't ask it of anyone else. I very rarely land at unsociable hours but when booking our last holiday, the flight was due to get in at 2am-ish so DH and I arranged to stay at the airport hotel. I have also stayed at the hotel when I have a 4am transatlantic check-in (because the previous time I'd booked a taxi, which was really late and the employee in the booking office gave nary a fuck when I phoned twice, practically begging for a driver).

For me, transport/hotel is factored into the cost of the holiday. I don't ask for favours if I can help it though; I hate feeling like I'm transferring my inconvenience to someone else.

Frabbits · 15/06/2023 09:16

kweeble · 15/06/2023 09:15

I think people should aim to book flights etc at a time when they can get themselves to and from the airport. It’s part of the cost of the holiday and it’s not fair to disrupt someone else’s sleep for your own convenience.

You know that often times you don't have a choice, right?

SkyandSurf · 15/06/2023 09:16

She is effectively asking you to subsidise her cheap holiday.

Massive CF.

GettingStuffed · 15/06/2023 09:17

I would never ask and your friend is being a bit cheeky.

I cannot believe the number of people who think she's being U just for booking a flight that gets in at 2am. Most airports don't have duplicate flights going to the same destination every day. If for example we want to go to Prague we have to go when the airline says we can do.

Georgyporky · 15/06/2023 09:18

She could stay in an airport hotel & get the bus in the morning

Frabbits · 15/06/2023 09:18

It's amazing just how mean and quick to jump to conclusions people are.

I mean, asking for and occasionally giving out favours etc is just what people who, y'know, like each other do, isn't it, in the real world?

If you don't want to do it, just say no.... I can't imagine being a close friend with someone but having them feel like they can't ask for a favour to save them money and/or a significant amount of hassle.

Wishimaywishimight · 15/06/2023 09:19

I wouldn't even ask my husband to pick me up at 2am let alone a friend. I would never ask someone to do this for me. She knew the situation when she went away, it really is up to her to find alternative transport.

FarmGirl78 · 15/06/2023 09:21

2chocolateoranges · 15/06/2023 08:15

I would do it for one of my friends and know they would do it for me.

isn’t that what friends do, help each other out?

This.

I think if anyone I knew was paying £85 to get a taxi to the airport there'd be at least 3 or 4 of us in social circle who'd offer to give them a lift rather than see them spend that money. This is totally what friends are for.

OP it's not unreasonable for you to say no if you've got kids, work etc, but you're helping a mate out and you'll have a pretty big favour in the bank if you ever need it.

zingally · 15/06/2023 09:21

Honestly, there are an incredibly tiny number of people in the world who I'd even dare to ask for a 2am pick up!

Is there any reason why she can't stay in an airport hotel overnight, and make the journey home in the morning?

Wishimaywishimight · 15/06/2023 09:21

Surely there is a bus that would take her part of the way then she could get a taxi the rest of the way?

Quitelikeit · 15/06/2023 09:22

I wouldn’t do this. Is she taking your daughter?

PinkIcedCream · 15/06/2023 09:22

My nearest airport is over an hour drive away so I’d only do an airport run for family members who are staying with me.

Anyone else can hang around the airport and catch the bus or try to find another couple to share a taxi?

Frabbits · 15/06/2023 09:23

zingally · 15/06/2023 09:21

Honestly, there are an incredibly tiny number of people in the world who I'd even dare to ask for a 2am pick up!

Is there any reason why she can't stay in an airport hotel overnight, and make the journey home in the morning?

Surely for the same reason that she doesn't want to get a taxi, e.g. the expense? Usually airport hotels are at least £100 for a room you are going to spend only a few hours in.

So, again, not unreasonable to ask a friend for a lift and, again, OP can say no if she can't/doesn't want to do it.

Sweetlikecandy · 15/06/2023 09:23

Friends do favours for one another, surely?

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 15/06/2023 09:24

I would do it only if she's a really good friend and you know she would have your back if you needed something.
She is nbu to ask, but you're also nbu to say no.