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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

614 replies

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:12

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85.
Thoughts ?

OP posts:
Carrusa · 15/06/2023 08:35

I think for my dad it's about a pick up from a friend feeling safer than a taxi too.

Notimeforaname · 15/06/2023 08:36

Do you want to? Do, if you want, and tell her she needs to pay for petrol and any tolls/parking if needed.

If you dont want to, just say no, you will be asleep.

SeeingSpots · 15/06/2023 08:36

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:34

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER she ie going on holiday for leisure. She can afford a taxi but doesn't want to pay for one. It's a Sunday morning pick up 2am. In fact, the flight lands at 2am so maybe 3am by the time they clear security & get bags etc

Do just say no. It doesn't require a thread or lots of time given to it if you don't want to do it she's not forcing you to.

She's still not unreasonable for asking but you obviously don't want to do it and that's also not unreasonable.

Xrays · 15/06/2023 08:38

I wouldn’t do it but then I don’t have those kind of friendships. It would be more reasonable if she was coming to visit you.

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/06/2023 08:38

That's putting the cost on to you though isn't it. You'll have petrol costs and also the cost of parking at the airport. That could be expensive. I think for £85 she needs to get a taxi. I would just say that I wouldn't feel safe, driving when I was so tired.

knockyknees · 15/06/2023 08:38

It's definitely unreasonable and rude to ask! I wouldn't even ask my husband or children to pick me up from the airport at that time.

DH and I recently had a long haul flight that arrived home at midnight. It cost us around 100 to get home in a taxi. It's just part of the overall holiday cost - the same as the taxis we caught at various points between hotels and airports on the actual holiday.

I woudn't even feel safe driving at that time of night if I'd stayed up, or only had a couple of hours sleep beforehand.

Mythicalcreatures · 15/06/2023 08:39

I wouldn't do it, she probably could get airport parking (off site) cheaper than the taxi cost if she books ahead

redspottedmug · 15/06/2023 08:39

She's rude to ask, and to make you feel guilty.

Say it's not possible.

Sunnyfeelgood · 15/06/2023 08:40

2am is so late! I have had friends pick me up around 11pm and vice versa. I would say no to 2am, especially if it is a work night. I don't think it is necessarily unreasonable to ask, it is pretty cheeky though. But in my view, that's why friends are so important they help you out of sticky situations and make life easier for you, so you can ask cheeky things of each other. Maybe you guys just aren't close enough for this kind of favour if you feel affronted by it? If one of my friends did this I wouldn't see her as unreasonable, I would just say 'Babe, are you kidding? It is prime beauty sleep time, get a sodding taxi'.

She would be unreasonable if she gets upset when you say no.

AlisonDonut · 15/06/2023 08:40

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:34

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER she ie going on holiday for leisure. She can afford a taxi but doesn't want to pay for one. It's a Sunday morning pick up 2am. In fact, the flight lands at 2am so maybe 3am by the time they clear security & get bags etc

Tell her you'll do it for £100 paid in cash, in advance.

LidlOrAldi · 15/06/2023 08:40

it's not an unreasonable thing to ask, Ive done it for friends and they have for me.
If I don't want to do it I say no.

OldTinHat · 15/06/2023 08:40

My friend and I do similar because we always reciprocate and know we can say no if its inconvenient.

MovinGroovinBarbie · 15/06/2023 08:40

You don't sound like you like her much.

How in earth did you reach this conclusion? Original post was just statement of facts. I'd not have thought many people would consider picking up somebody they didn't like at 2am.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 15/06/2023 08:40

Does the flight get in at that time because she booked the cheapest flight possible? Because to me it sounds as though she's trying to push the cost and work onto you.

WisherWood · 15/06/2023 08:41

It's fine for her to ask. It's also fine for you to say 'sorry, no, I don't want to drive to the airport at that time in the morning.'

If I were her I'd either book a hotel room at the airport, which might well be less than the taxi fare, or just wait it out at the airport. By the time you factor in flight delays etc. you might just as well find somewhere to snooze at the airport, get an early breakfast there, and then be on your way.

miniboosboos · 15/06/2023 08:41

IAmAnIdiot123 · 15/06/2023 08:14

She can ask, you can say yes or no.

I have friends I would do this for and they would for me, I don't think it's cheeky to ask if you are presumably good friends.

This. Its not unreasonable to ask but if you'd rather not do it, thats not unreasonable either.

Now, if she gets arsey about it, then YES, she is being ridiculous and cheeky

pickledandpuzzled · 15/06/2023 08:42

Offer to collect her at 6am? That's almost reasonable and gives her time to clear customs.

crazeekat · 15/06/2023 08:43

wouldn't ask or expect anyone to do this, airport travel should always be incorporated into the cost of holidays. exceptions being emergencies. and a prior agreement such as u take them and they take u.

pickledandpuzzled · 15/06/2023 08:43

She can get breakfast there.

VanGoghsDog · 15/06/2023 08:46

I think it's OK for her to ask. I have a couple of friends who will do any airport run for friends, but I never ask them because I prefer to drive and be under my own steam.

I would do if for her IF I could make it work for me. That is, it depends what I'm doing the day before and the next day. It means no drinking the evening before (so, if you have an event, that might not work for you) and not having much on the next day as you'll need to get some extra sleep. So I wouldn't do it if the next day was a work day.

My bf is picking me up at 2am, an hour away, in a few weeks, luckily he doesn't drink anyway, and the day is a non work day. Bit different, but I was OK about him saying no.

If you can do it, she should give you petrol money. But I do think it's a pretty normal thing to ask.

cuckyplunt · 15/06/2023 08:47

I’d do it in a heartbeat. £85 is not a small expense.

Newmumatlast · 15/06/2023 08:47

SkyandSurf · 15/06/2023 08:25

It would not occur to me to ask anyone to pick me up at that time. Not even my husband.

Unless there is some backstory where she has recently done some incredible favour for you, I'd tell her it's far too late for you and you are unable to help.

Do you genuinely not do stuff for eachother like that? Not even just to ensure they're safe but because you want to see eachother or make sure one another are comfortable? Would you not pick one another up from a night out in the early hours?

Maybe it's because my family have seen too much about the horrors of the world that we are overly concerned about safety:/

Goldbar · 15/06/2023 08:52

similarminimer · 15/06/2023 08:34

I'd rather give her the money for the cab!

This. By the time you factor in petrol for the round trip and parking, you're already well on the way to the cost of the cab!

Or is she not proposing to reimburse you for these?

In any case, it's putting an incredibly low value on the time and inconvenience cost to you (including the lost sleep and weekend lie-in).

strawberry2017 · 15/06/2023 08:52

I would politely decline.
To me that's a favour for family only and even then I wouldn't ask family. I'd pay for the taxi.

saraclara · 15/06/2023 08:53

It'll be at least 3am by the time they're out. Then there's getting to the car park etc. How far away is the airport?

I think it's perfectly reasonable to say that you wouldn't feel safe driving at that time of night/morning, as you'll be falling asleep.

If she couldn't afford the taxi and there'd been a flight schedule change, it might be another thing. But if she can afford a taxi, she's being a cf.