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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

614 replies

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 08:12

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85.
Thoughts ?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 15/06/2023 17:41

Just message saying, "Sorry, I'll be asleep at that time! 😂 " I'm sure sure she'll get a taxi.

CockyTeeHunz4Eva · 15/06/2023 17:52

BirdChirp · 15/06/2023 12:13

I would laugh if someone asked me to do a 2am pick up (if no extenuating circumstances other than them just not wanting to pay for a taxi). Absolutely no chance. Also not remotely something I would ever ask of a friend.

Same!!

Just say "Sorry, I wouldn't feel safe at that time of the morning."

Worcestershirem0mmy · 15/06/2023 20:56

My husband was asked to pick up his parents at 4am and take them to the airport (25 min ish journey away) and it was inconvenient as he had work the next day and was completely knackered but they do so much to help us he knew it was the right thing to do.

would your friend return the favour? Do you have work the next morning?

you should not feel obliged and she surely cannot be annoyed if you say no.

ZedMammy · 15/06/2023 21:16

I’d hope my friends could ask me for a lift from the moon if that’s what they needed. Isn’t that what friendship is about? Helping each other out? You don’t have to say yes but imagine not being able to ask your pal that!

Confusion101 · 15/06/2023 21:17

ZedMammy · 15/06/2023 21:16

I’d hope my friends could ask me for a lift from the moon if that’s what they needed. Isn’t that what friendship is about? Helping each other out? You don’t have to say yes but imagine not being able to ask your pal that!

Agreed!!!

TheMummy9875 · 15/06/2023 21:22

I don’t honk it’s unreasonable to ask. It’s up to you whether you can or can’t. Personally, our friends always drop us off/pick us up and we do the same for them. It’s not like it’s every week

Tooearlytothink · 15/06/2023 21:32

I feel like the fact that you’re posting here instead of either saying yes, or discussing with her, says maybe it’s not that kind of friendship. Maybe she thinks it is though? I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at doing this for some friends but then some friends that are less close I wouldn’t expect it. You maybe both see your friendship differently.

Kiwano · 15/06/2023 21:37

Oh dear, what a shame that you have to be somewhere 100 miles away that night. Or you're booked for babysitting.

SimonsCow · 15/06/2023 21:45

’Sorry love, I just wouldn’t feel safe driving at that time of night. I can recommend a taxi company’

Sigmama · 15/06/2023 21:59

Getting to and from an airport or train station is part of the expense of travelling, how does she think people without cars manage, cf

misskatamari · 15/06/2023 21:59

Not a chance! I can’t believe the amount of people on here who think this is a reasonable request! A three hour round trip, in the middle of the night! It’s in NO way unreasonable to say no to this!!!

Feraldogmum · 15/06/2023 22:01

She can afford a foreign holiday but won’t budget for travel back, expects you to pick her up at 2am. Seriously taking the piss.

Tumbleweed101 · 15/06/2023 22:03

No, not unreasonable to ask so long as no ill feeling if you say no. If you have an early start at work etc you may not be able to do this.

It would have to be a very close friend, or someone coming to staying with me for me to agree because of how busy my life is in general but I wouldnt mind being asked. Taxi's to rural locations are stupidly expensive.

Zanatdy · 15/06/2023 22:06

What a Liberty! 2pm maybe, 2am, I would not dream of asking someone to come at that time. I’d just say really sorry you’ve got something on the next morning and need a full nights sleep.

Gothambutnotahamster · 15/06/2023 22:20

cartagenagina · 15/06/2023 12:15

Just say sorry, you aren’t available. If she pushes it, say you haven’t been sleeping well, so driving in the middle of the night wouldn’t be safe.

I'd say this!

WotNoUserName · 15/06/2023 22:28

Now I know how far I'd say no. I live 12 minutes drive from a main airport, so I'd do that for a friend, but not 3 hours of driving in the middle of the night.

Nanny0gg · 15/06/2023 22:32

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 12:10

THIS.
I feel like saying no is alike to saying something along the lines of ''sorry, I cannot be arsed, even though I am perfectly able to come and get you I just don't want to be awake all night while I clock watch to wait for the time to come around to come and get you. You can fork out for a taxi instead'' i.e. stuff you.

The airport is around 1hr 15 minutes each way, so around a 3 hours round-trip. Friend would give me petrol & parking money, she has already said so.

Friend is going on holiday with her daughter. My daughter is not going with them. My friend is not coming to stay with me.

Show quote history

How's she getting there?

I think you have every right to say no

But if you're a people pleaser I don't know how to make you.

CM1897 · 15/06/2023 22:33

Isn’t this what friends do, ask each other favours sometimes? You can obviously say no. You may need her to do you a big favour one day too

BarbaraofSeville · 15/06/2023 22:34

Just say you don't think you can safely drive in the middle of the night like that, so won't be able to do it.

How did she think she'd get home when she booked a flight that landed at that time?

If she chose that time because it was cheaper, she can use the money saved to pay for a hotel at the airport so she can make her own way home in the daytime and learn a lesson about false economy. Even if she had no choice about flight times, she can either pay for a taxi, a hotel, or maybe the lounge so they can get comfy with drinks and snacks to wait until public transport back home starts - probably 5/6 am so not that long once they've done security, luggage etc.

NicLondon1 · 15/06/2023 22:39

Absolutely no way!! Outrageous!
you can say you wouldn’t feel safe driving on 2 hours of sleep or you can say you’ve get relatives over lunch so have to be up early… or anything really.
the fact she has the gall to ask actually makes me wonder if she is even a real friend or just using you for play dates or something else…?

FlipFlop1987 · 15/06/2023 22:40

I’m surprised the number of people who think OP should do the lift because £85 is a lot of money. She’s just been on holiday, that she booked knowing exactly where the airport was and how far away she lived. If you’re going to book a late arrival flight, be prepared for either driving late, paying for a taxi or a nearby hotel. I think it’s cheeky to effectively give someone a sleepless night, a very tired Sunday and probably dreading the Monday morning alarm clock 😴

Dibbydoos · 15/06/2023 22:44

How is she getting to the airport?

If I was here I'd drive and pay for parking.

It's unreasonable to expect someone to pick her up at that time on. Sunday morning, you'll still be knackered for work come Monday.

Say you can't do it.

Yourfriend is a cheapskate!

LadyLolaRuben · 15/06/2023 22:46

I would and I have for my really good mates. I owe my friends so much for the support they have given me during terrible times in my life.

JudgeRudy · 15/06/2023 22:49

I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to do this for me so probably wouldnt ask myself. I'd feel quite OK saying no. That's a big ask.
You'll need to spend at least 3 hours doing this favour which will also write off your Sunday if you're travelling back at 3/4am....and you won't be able to drink Saturday. Once you factor in fuel and possible short stay parking how much will it actually save her? £30? Isnt your inconvenience worth more than that?

azimuth299 · 15/06/2023 22:51

I wouldn't ask someone to do that distance at that time, no. But if a good friend asked me I wouldn't find it rude and might well say yes.

It's okay to say no, you know. I know it feels horrible the first time you do it, if you've been brought up being expected to say yes. But it does get easier with practice and improve your life quite a lot.