Page 14 | Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

Eggsandpickles · 2023-06-15T07:12:26+00:00

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85. Thoughts ?

Shellista · 15/06/2023 14:24

Yeah no. It is completely reasonable for you to say that you can't do that, because you need to be able to function the next day, and you wouldn't be able to on that little sleep.

If you would be happy to collect her later that morning (eg 7 or 8am), then offer that - as PP said, if she really wants/needs to save the difference between the cab fare and your petrol costs, then she'll be willing to wait at the airport for a few hours.

If she says she doesn't want to wait because she'll be tired and want to go to bed, well, then, she's just demonstrating that she's comfortable prioritising her comfort/sleep over yours. And you should equslly feel free to prioritise your comfort/sleep over hers!

OliveHenry · 15/06/2023 14:28

My friends wouldn't ask this, but I'd probably offer.

A 3am pickup on a Sunday morning wouldn't be a problem for me, but I rather like being out and about in the wee small hours, when the rest of the world is asleep.

I recently took some friends to the local bus station for a 4am coach pickup. Granted, it was only 15 mins away, but I'd have taken them further if necessary.

On the flip side, a few years ago I rang DP from JFK airport as my flight home had to be rearranged, so I was landing in Heathrow (170 miles away) instead of Manchester (50 miles away). He wouldn't have considered not coming to get me.

Guess we're all different :-)

Curseofthenation · 15/06/2023 14:45

I can't believe that anyone would actually male this request. What a CF.

Collaborate · 15/06/2023 14:51

Eggsandpickles · 15/06/2023 12:10

THIS.
I feel like saying no is alike to saying something along the lines of ''sorry, I cannot be arsed, even though I am perfectly able to come and get you I just don't want to be awake all night while I clock watch to wait for the time to come around to come and get you. You can fork out for a taxi instead'' i.e. stuff you.

The airport is around 1hr 15 minutes each way, so around a 3 hours round-trip. Friend would give me petrol & parking money, she has already said so.

Friend is going on holiday with her daughter. My daughter is not going with them. My friend is not coming to stay with me.

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I'd say something like:

"Ha! no - sorry. I wouldn't even pick up my own child at that time of the night."

lemonchiffonpie · 15/06/2023 14:52

The airport is around 1hr 15 minutes each way, so around a 3 hours round-trip.

So that, as well as waiting around for hours, and probably paying for the parking while you wait, and all of this between midnight and dawn!

Beezknees · 15/06/2023 14:53

I'd never ask anyone to do this for me.

lemonchiffonpie · 15/06/2023 14:54

I wouldn't ask someone to do it for me at 2-3 pm!

TouchingNoses · 15/06/2023 14:58

@SkyandSurf that article is really interesting and explains a lot. I am definitely a Guesser and was brought up that way, it is difficult to change. I have a fair number of askers in my life - and it is a good way to see that they are not being CF's, necessarily but it is jut their nature.

I think life is probably easier as an asker - they more often get what they need with less personal effort and don't have the angst that guessers have. It is definitely the askers that get to the top in corporates etc.

LSSG · 15/06/2023 15:04

Yes I think they ABU, at that distance/time of night. Very cheeky.

whatsthatbloodycatdonenow · 15/06/2023 15:07

It would be a no from me. “Sorry but I’m not comfortable driving that distance at that time of morning, I’d be concerned about concentrating on the road when tired”.

Alaimo · 15/06/2023 15:16

SkyandSurf · 15/06/2023 13:56

This thread illustrates Ask culture VS Guess culture

www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/340891/

I'm an asker, but no way would I ask this from a friend. I wouldn't even ask my husband to do this for me.

tommyshelbysbunnit · 15/06/2023 15:18

Yes, she is BU

aloris · 15/06/2023 15:19

I wouldn't do this at this time of night. Too easy to fall asleep at the wheel. My peak sleepiness hours are 2 am to 5 am and between those hours I can't keep my eyes open for love or money. Your driving would be about 12:45 am to at least 3:30 am, if not later. That's a long drive to do at the time of day you are least alert.

It would make more sense for her to take a taxi. Not an Uber. A taxi, driven by someone with a taxi license to maintain. Taxi drivers are used to being awake in the small hours and will be alert for driving. You can offer that she can text you the license number of the taxi if she's anxious.

Superdupes · 15/06/2023 15:25

I wouldn't even ask family to do this! You'll end up being up all night!

SlashBeef · 15/06/2023 15:41

I couldn't do this anyway because I take meds at night and there's no way I could drive safely at 2am. I also wouldn't have the audacity to ask anyone to do this for me.

Grumpy101 · 15/06/2023 15:44

"LOL piss off" is the only acceptable reply. She's rude to even ask.

Shinyandnew1 · 15/06/2023 15:45

She can afford a taxi but doesn't want to pay for one

Then I would say no.

What have you said, @Eggsandpickles ?

mewkins · 15/06/2023 15:54

OliveHenry · 15/06/2023 14:28

My friends wouldn't ask this, but I'd probably offer.

A 3am pickup on a Sunday morning wouldn't be a problem for me, but I rather like being out and about in the wee small hours, when the rest of the world is asleep.

I recently took some friends to the local bus station for a 4am coach pickup. Granted, it was only 15 mins away, but I'd have taken them further if necessary.

On the flip side, a few years ago I rang DP from JFK airport as my flight home had to be rearranged, so I was landing in Heathrow (170 miles away) instead of Manchester (50 miles away). He wouldn't have considered not coming to get me.

Guess we're all different :-)

Agree with you. If I had no plans the next day I'd do it as I don't mind an early morning drive, especially in the summer. I also quite like airports 😄.
It's pretty easy now to do a flight tracker thing to see if there are any delays etc.

TrashyPanda · 15/06/2023 15:59

Isn’t 3am when your circadian rhythms are at their lowest ?

Ijustdontcare · 15/06/2023 16:21

Wow, what a bunch of Scrooges most of you are on here. I can't believe some of you wouldn't even do a pickup for your spouses or children that late at night.

CrazyArmadilloLady · 15/06/2023 16:35

FloydPepper · 15/06/2023 10:39

I think there’s a clear divide here. 2 types of people

those who would offer/help. They’ll be ok with putting themselves out a bit as it’s a nice thing to do. It’s normal for them so they both give and receive these types of favours. It all works out evenly in the long run.

those who would not offer, and see being asked as rude. They highlight that it would impact them and out them out, and see a request as being an attempt to take advantage.

im clearly in the first group. I think the second group see the world with themselves as being paramount and don’t feel they should help others. They see favours as being taken advantage of as they assume everyone else is also self centred.

You’ve left out an entire group of people - many of whom are on this thread.

People who would never ask a favour that would seriously inconvenience someone else - and who would also turn down an offer from someone seriously inconveniencing themselves for them.

I would never ask someone to make a three-hour round trip to pick me up from their airport in the early hours of the morning. And, if a friend offered to make a three-hour round trip to pick me up in the early hours of the morning, I’d tell them not to be ridiculous, and to stay in bed.

These 👆 are the considerate people.

WonderDays · 15/06/2023 16:39

Wow, what a bunch of Scrooges most of you are on here. I can't believe some of you wouldn't even do a pickup for your spouses or children that late at night

I wouldn’t, if someone can afford to go abroad then they can afford a taxi. My sleep is worth more than them saving money.

keyboardkat · 15/06/2023 16:47

Who organises a holiday without budgeting for and figuring out how to get back from the airport independently? I think she is being very cheeky and there are very few people around who would ask this.

I'd say I'm not in a position to do that, I'm sorry. The first bus is at X am so you could try wait for that, or book a cab instead.

Seems like the conversation is ongoing as she has offered fuel and parking money.

How is she getting TO the airport, bus/lift/cab?

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/06/2023 17:23

I can understand it would be very difficult to say no to her face but you can text it. Just say that you wouldn't be able to sleep beforehand and you wouldn't feel safe driving. What can she say to that?

Emotionalsupportviper · 15/06/2023 17:41

TrashyPanda · 15/06/2023 15:59

Isn’t 3am when your circadian rhythms are at their lowest ?

Certainly the early hours of the morning, but from what I an recall the KGB used to favour 4:00 am - you are in deep slumber (usually - if you haven't got a house full of spaniels*) and can't get back into wakefulness very quickly.

*I have, and consider 4.30am a long lie in.