Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

[Eggsandpickles]

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85.
Thoughts ?

But OP is busy! She’s sleeping!

She would miss at at least 4 hours sleep.

Hi OP. You shouldn't have to, but to keep things amicable I'd pretend you had something you needed to do that morning. But yeah, if she can afford to go on a foreign holiday she can afford the taxi home or airport parking.

I feel like saying no is alike to saying something along the lines of ''sorry, I cannot be arsed, even though I am perfectly able to come and get you I just don't want to be awake all night while I clock watch to wait for the time to come around to come and get you. You can fork out for a taxi instead'' i.e. stuff you.

Does she know you feel like that? If so, she's unreasonable to ask. But it could well be that she is fine with drawing boundaries and wouldn't be bothered by saying no herself, so would expect the same from you. Not being awake all night and waiting around is a fine reason not to go and collect someone. Kindly OP, the people pleasing is your problem, not hers. You can just say no, that doesn't work for you.

Or, she could wait in the airport till morning.

She's being very unreasonable, I'd refuse.

Say yes, but you can't be there until 7am. If she can't be bothered to wait, there's your answer.

YADNBU! I wouldn't pick anyone up at that time and I'm 30 minutes from the airport. What happens if flight's delayed?

An Uber would be cheaper so tell her to sort her own transport out - how are they getting to the airport?

I wouldn’t ask this favor, I’d book a taxi.

Tell her that you’ve got plans on Saturday evening and/or Sunday morning so you can’t do it. Don’t give details, just be firm. It’s not an emergency situation, she doesn’t need your help-plus the flight/luggage may easily be delayed.

Good lord, following your update of time/distance YANBU in slightest to not want to do this. At that time of night/morning I don't think my (adult) kids would ask me to do that and I certainly wouldn;t ask family or closest of freinds to do it for me.
I would happily give someone a lift if I was free in the day time, but nighttime no way - that is a massive ask and completely different to a daytime request.

Reading this thread, I can see that the world is really made up of two kinds of people

1. Those that are happy to ask for favours (no matter how large or inconvenient) on the basis that there is no harm in asking and they wouldn't be bothered by a refusal. Same sort typically have no qualms about others asking them and refusing themselves (without feeling guilty/awkward)

1. Those that rarely ask for favours (certainly not large or inconvenient ones) for concern of putting people on the spot and making them feel awkward/obliged. Same sort find it difficult to refuse favours asked for them - and if they do refuse feel guilty/awkward about it.

I fall into the second camp.

This. By the time they're through immigration and have collected their bags it'll be getting on for 4am. They can find somewhere quiet to wait until public transport starts running and get breakfast if they want it.

Friends ask me for favours but I don’t know any friends who would ask this

when booking flights (unless emergency flights) you have to take into consideration arrival times and how you shall get to and from the airport

i would say no

It's a no from me

@TouchingNoses yes, I think a lot of it is to do with how comfortable you are with saying 'no' yourself. My mother is an absolute people pleaser. So I used to fall into the second camp, as I copied her. I would feel awkward asking and awkward saying no to someone. With age I've just put myself in the first camp. 'I don't want to' is a perfectly good reason not to do some shit.

thanks i must be thinking of take off rather than landings

"Sorry, I'd probably end up having to take half a day off work, which would probably cost more than the taxi fare."
Might help her put it in perspective.

I’d say no sorry, it’s too much, you’d be awake all night to save her less than £85 (by the time she gives you petrol and parking she’d save maybe $40). I don’t see the point.

I would do it for a seriously good friend.

But a lot of people are piss-takers that take, take and take, and the problem is they can spell people pleasers a mile off.

What category would you put her in?

If you don’t want to do it, say sorry I don’t feel safe driving at that time of night.

It’s a perfectly good and very reasonable excuse.

How long is the drive?

I dont get flights at unsocial hours as a rule and if i do, i stay at hotels or get cabs or drive

This thread illustrates Ask culture VS Guess culture

www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/340891/

I'd feel like this was a really big ask unless there was something like a taxi strike or a huge family emergency. If it's just that she has the money and doesn't want to spend it, that's annoying.

I'd feel completely free to say no, and maybe frame it in the friendliest possible way as: 'sorry, that won't work for me, and to be honest, if the flight was delayed or anything, it could turn into a bit of a disaster. You don't want somebody sleep deprived driving you around! Much safer for you both to get a taxi, I think'.
That should also put paid to her asking you again.

I'd ask, pay petrol and buy a nice gift for a daytime flight. A night time flight is a big no no. I wouldn't ever ask or expect to be asked!

I just read your update- even in the middle of the day, I would not ask a friend to make a THREE hour round trip to collect me from the airport.

That alone is ridiculous.

Add in the fact it will cost you a night of sleep and she's a massive Cheeky fucker.

If you're such good friends then she should know you are the kind of person to feel awkward and put on the spot by this- and she did it anyway.

Don't worry about pleasing this person- just say you need your sleep and leave it at that.

Personally I wouldn't ask someone for a lift in the early hours of the morning unless it was an emergency.

Our inlaws have kindly taken us to the airport sometimes or picked us up, and we have returned the favour, but during the day. We wouldn't ask one another if it was in the early hours of the morning.

This. By the time they're through immigration and have collected their bags it'll be getting on for 4am

In my experience of early hours arrivals, immigration and bag collection takes an hour tops. My last trip it was 40 minutes.

The airport is around 1hr 15 minutes each way, so around a 3 hours round-trip

Three hours?* Between apx 1 and 4 am? Just to save money? No, absolutely no.
I absolutely would never ask a friend to do that for me. And yes, I would be bewildered at a friend who would ask that of me, when she can afford the fare, and it's not a last minute thing or an emergency.

• And of course it will be longer. And there could be delays. This sounds grim.