Is my friend BU to ask me to pick her up from the airport at 2am ?

[Eggsandpickles]

She clearly wants to save money by not getting a taxi. There are no buses to our village at that time. A taxi would probably cost her around £85.
Thoughts ?

flimsywhimsy · Today 12:20
I never understand why people think it's always okay to ask. No, there are things that it would be rude and unacceptable to ask, because it puts the other person in an awkward position.

Totally agree. I don't know why posters so often say 'it's not unreasonable to ask'. Sometimes it is!

Exactly!

society wouldn’t function if the only people allowed on the roads were those having their full 8 hours sleep per night
@cartagenagina

An hour and fifteen minutes each way, in the middle of the night - is she actually mad??? I thought you were going to be round the corner from the airport and even then it’s an incredibly cheeky ask.

id reply that you are out that night so won’t be able to drive as you’ll have had a drink. Don’t apologise. This is cheeky fuckery of the very highest order.

If you don’t want to do it, say no. There’s no harm in asking. We have done it for friends/family and it’s just a nice thing to do for someone.

I totally agree that it is awkward to be presented with an unreasonable request. And the person requesting might not shrug and say, “No worries,” but be offended and cross about it. Given that the woman asking for the lift is the mother of the dd’s friend, it might make subsequent interactions uncomfortable.

I must admit I’d opt for the coward’s way out and say that I had to be somewhere on the Sunday or that I couldn’t drive on no sleep. Agree with others that the money saving isn’t huge when you’ve factored in parking. And most airports now have a drop off/pick up fee too even if you swoop in and just drive through.

I think it's ridiculous to ask someone to drive a 3 hour round trip (plus probably an hour's waiting time) to save you £85. Even in the daytime I would only do that for someone who couldn't reasonably get a taxi (e.g. a child, or dropping off student with lots of luggage, elderly person perhaps).

Why don't you offer to give her £85 instead. That might make it clear how unreasonable she's being.

It depends. I have friends who I would do this for and who would do it for me. More often when we were all younger and a taxi would cut down on spending money! But it's fine to say no.

Honestly, just say no.
No idea where you live but we are also the same distance and cost in a taxi away from the closest airport and it would be extremely rude for us to ask someone to do this at this time or vice versa. You realistically won’t get back home to go to bed until 04:30…. Is this something you want to do?

Cannot fathom how anyone would think this was a reasonable thing to ask of someone. Just say no OP.

Absolutely not. What an utter cheek asking. Please tell us you said no. Tell her you've got an important appointment early the next day.

I never ask favours from anyone as I just don't like to and most of the time I don't need to.

You are very fortunate to never be in the position where you need to ask someone a favour. My family group, my colleagues and my friendship group ask favours of each other all the time - it's what makes the world go round much more smoothly than it otherwise would.

Of course I'd pick my friend up if she asked, and I'd probably eventually ask a favour in return (although no one counts them). I might ask for her to cover petrol/parking in a case like this, but if I wasn't busy, I'd do the favour.

If she can afford to fly off on holiday, she can afford a cab home. She's being a CF to ask you to turn out at that time to collect her. You'll basically miss an entire night's sleep just doing her a favour, and that's not on. I'd do it for my parents, DH or kids, but I wouldn't do it for anyone else.

Surely for a 3 hour round trip your fuel costs plus parking at the airport won't be far off £85 anyway? Say it costs e.g. £60, that means she has massively inconvenienced you by dragging you on a 3h round trip in the middle of the night for £25. I would say no. Just say you'd love to help but you're too knackered. I agree with others she should park at the airport, that way she avoids having to pay for a taxi. How's she getting there in the first place, assume someone's dropping her off, could that person also collect her?

I feel like saying no is alike to saying something along the lines of ''sorry, I cannot be arsed, even though I am perfectly able to come and get you I just don't want to be awake all night while I clock watch to wait for the time to come around to come and get you. You can fork out for a taxi instead'' i.e. stuff you.

but those are actually valid reasons, you aren't being mean by saying you don't want to.

That would be a no. Because I would be busy sleeping.

The only time I would do it is if it was someone travelling in, who had received bad news.

We.fly a lot, land in the day and it is 40 mins by taxi to my family. I always book taxis to and from airport as everyone has a busy life and we don't wish to inconvenience them.

I would never ask this of a friend. I would not ask family or even my partner to pick me up at that time of day. It totally disrupts the persons evening and the following day for them. You are asking the person to stay up really late, head out in the dark at around 1am, do a lengthy drive in the middle of the night when tired, get home around 4am earliest - so effectively getting no sleep or at best very disrupted sleep. All to save 85 quid and the end of a holiday when I bet she was spending more than that each day on meals out etc.

In this situation she should either book the airport hotel or get a taxi.

At the very best I would offer to pick up at 7am - she can then figure out whether she prefers to wait for 4 hours in the airport or pay 85 quid. If she is not prepared to wait 4 hours but expects you to totally disrupt your evening and do a three hour round trip then it tells you a lot.

As an excuse you could say you don't like driving at night - this is true for a lot of people.

i thought flight dont land after midnight or is that only certain airports

anyway i wouldnt do it at that either

It's quite a big ask but the fact that she can ask is perhaps a sign that she feels very comfortable in your friendship. You now have the choice to say either yes or no. If you don't want to you could just say something like "I'm so sorry but I'd never be able to stay up that late and don't want to let you down." Then she can find alternative travel. but if you don't mind doing it, see it as a bit of an adventure and go for it. Your dd might even want to come with you.

@Fisharejumping

lol how could it possibly be an adventure?!

If she didn’t want to spend £85 on a taxi then she shouldn’t have booked flights that landed at 2am.

Christ I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to do that besides my own parents (and even now I wouldn't do that as it's too late)

That's a definite NO from me. She needs to get a taxi. End of.

I live under the flight path to a major airport and I can assure that that some flights do land after midnight. Far fewer than during the day and earlier evening, but they definitely do.

I've been on the occasional flight myself that has landed in the small hours. What goes up must come down, of course. There seem to be several hours each night when there are few, if any, take-offs. This is partly due to noise reduction at night and partly to give airports time to perform planned maintenance tasks on the airfield and runway.

Spell out to her that while SHE would be saving money on a taxi, you would be driving for three hours and paying for parking and tolls. Not to mention losing sleep and risking life and limb in the middle of the night. (Plus the inevitable jet lag that results from doing this favour. You’ll be knackered for days.)

I would have offered if I wasnt working the next day. Put a bit of music on, have a drive and then a good hot breakfast, early morning nap and then up for the day.