Why does he speak to me like this?

[LemonjeIIo]

Had dinner, I had made a drink and said, I'll go and get a snack. Brought back some biscuits and cheese on a board on my lap and proceeded to make a snack. As I bit into the snack, I get, Oh don't ask me if I want one will you? Then called me greedy. I mean, why can't he just say, Oo cheesy snack, can I have one? Why is it always me doing something wrong? It's all the time, I'm on edge. It's like I have to second guess every time, it makes me anxious. Another example when the cat didn't eat her expensive food, and he threw it away. I said oh that's a shame. But he snapped at me and said Well what did you want me to do with it? He could have just agreed with me and said Yeah, we won't buy that one again. But no, it's always me that seems to be the baddie.
How can I get him to stop doing this? I do try to say please don't do that but then he says It's my opinion, I'm entitled to my opinion.
Any advice?

He has nowhere to go but earns enough to rent. If he can find somewhere

I'm so worn down by it all

Well tell him to go then, OP. We do. It owe men a nice home and care and support. He can cope alone.

It’s no way to live. A relationship is supposed to enhance your life, not grind you down.

Is he this much of an arsehole to his friends, to his boss, to the bigger bloke in the pub ? Just you, right ?

Does he pay towards bills and food. Good that it's your place and you can kick him out.

If he can afford to rent then its not like he hasn't got anywhere to go. He can rent his own place, like millions of us do

I bet you anything once you tell him to leave he'll become nice as pie to get back with you.

As said by other posters, this man hates you and has no respect for you. Once you accept that, dumping him will be easy.

@LemonjeIIo because he has contempt for you and thinks he can openly show you how little respect he has for you, and you will suck it up.

No kids, your own house, no shared financial commitments. Tell him to GTFO.

I totally understand where you are coming from and have my own examples.

I said shall we drop the kids library books in on the way past as I had a reminder to say they are overdue. His response - something else for you to have a go at me about (A few days earlier when he was off work I asked if he would take the kids to the library, didn't happen, no problem. I didn't mention it) I wasn't having a go.

He doesn't take what I say at face value and always thinks there's something (accusatory or a dig at him) behind it..... 'What do you really mean?' usually nothing!!' It's exhausting. We are currently on a trial separation.

I'm forever saying to him it's the way you speak to me that I don't like but he never changes. He has contempt in his voice when he says it, and I tell him this and he says well you do it to me and he's allowed an opinion, then he often says it's like being in an abusive relationship with me because I treat him badly when I say he speaks to me like dirt

I can only recommend you to leave him. I was in a relationship like this, it was very toxic, eventually he cheated on me (or eventually I caught him) and it gave me the push I needed to leave him, it was the best thing that ever happened.

Yes!!!! Exactly this 💯 . There's always a hidden meaning. But no there really isn't!!

Just end it, honestly there is nothing that can redeem a relationship when he is speaking to you with contempt and accusing you of being abusive. He will undermine your self esteem and mental health. Chuck him out and cuddle your cat.

You can't change him. Life is too short to spend with a man who talks to you like this.

This accusation is a 🚩 if I had to put money on it, I’d say this is not his first rodeo, and behind him are a trail of women who have accused him of being just that. He’s learnt to get the first punch in. The RVO in DARVO stand for Reverse Victim and Offender.

You don't speak to people you like / love like that. He sounds like a dick and he's getting away with it.

What’s his family background like? Was his mum critical of him for example.. is he tagging on feelings from childhood .. just thoughts really!

My ex was like this... super critical and mean at times.

I remember passing an exam... in which only 21% of the candidate passed. I remembered his questioning the pass rate and calling me a liar. I had to show him the break down before he back tracked... but there was no apology for his behaviour.

I knew at this point he didn't care about me and was just mean and ahorrible guy. I left but gave him another chance to change... but you guessed it ... the mask slipped pretty quick.. as did I.

Don't waste your life being put down.

They always are like this. It's all part of it

You’re with an abusive man. You don’t “want another one” because you want him to just shape up and be nice because your self esteem has been quashed. You just hope desperately he’ll change and be the nice version of him all the time.

He’s not going to and the correct response from a healthy adult would be to tell him to fuck off and bin him.

You will continue banging your head against a brick wall until something gives. And it won’t be his personality.

Not great. Sister and brother both manipulate him for their own good. Mother wasn't loving towards him as a child.

Op, this relationship is making you very unhappy. Get rid of him already. Where he goes isn't your problem.

That’s not your problem.

Please don’t let pity for him make you waste more time on him.

He will find somewhere, tell him he just be gone by the weekend.

People are different with different people. Nothing to do with you, it's him.

Look at these two videos of the same man arsehole.

"you're going to go home after this and cry your fucking eyes out and I hope you do"

"my life began the day I met her"

Same guy. Cunt to one woman. Totally different to another. completely about him.

This 👆