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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN smoking weed

54 replies

Frania · 13/06/2023 20:51

NDN is a man in his late thirties who moved back in with his parents a few years ago. Parents have lived here for 30 years. We get on fine with them when we see them. We just say hi and have a small bit of chit chat and then get on our way. Since we moved in (2 and half years ago) the son has been smoking weed, and it did annoy me a bit then, but I just got on with it. However, it is really bugging me now. WIBU to report him? Truthfully, I’m worried that if I report him, although it would be anonymous, I think it would be pretty obvious it was me, and I don’t want to be worried about them being petty or nasty towards me back, even though I’m not the one smoking an illegal drug in the middle of the day in the garden.

OP posts:
GottaGirlcrush · 13/06/2023 20:52

Report to whom? Police won't do anything...

Original poster
Frania · 13/06/2023 20:53

@GottaGirlcrush exactly…. Who? And even if I did, I doubt it would solve much.

OP posts:
ItsCalledAConversation · 13/06/2023 20:54

How is it bugging you? What exactly is it that’s upsetting you? Is it the smell or the sheer fact you know he’s doing something “illegal”?

QuacketyQuack · 13/06/2023 20:54

Report him, why

Original poster
Frania · 13/06/2023 20:54

Yes it’s the smell

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 13/06/2023 20:55

ItsCalledAConversation · 13/06/2023 20:54

How is it bugging you? What exactly is it that’s upsetting you? Is it the smell or the sheer fact you know he’s doing something “illegal”?

Why the quote marks?

It’s illegal. No quote marks.

Kinneddar · 13/06/2023 20:56

Unless he's growing it police aren't going to be interested in someone smoking weed in their garden or house

bumblebee2235 · 13/06/2023 20:56

Why does it bother you so much? Can you smell it all the time?

Police won't do anything, I was in supported accommodation years ago with a guy who got psychosis from it, they wouldn't touch it with a barge pole and laughed about the weed, he had some white powder drug too and didn't care. So doubt they'd do anything for a bit of weed with no anti social behaviour esp if it's on grounds where he lives.

Original poster
Frania · 13/06/2023 20:59

Yeah I know I am being a bit extra. Yeah, it has bothered me more recently. I’m just fed up of the smell wafting across so frequently, and knowing I just have to put up with it

OP posts:
SavageTomato · 13/06/2023 21:00

You're something else. You'd seriously grass him up for doing precisely nothing to you? Apart from a bit of a smell. Boo fucking hoo.

NewPinkJacket · 13/06/2023 21:02

I hate the smell of weed so you have my sympathies OP.

But I also hate the smell of bonfires, wood burners, BBQs, exhaust fumes and some of my neighbours cooking smells 🤷‍♂️

The fact weed is still illegal doesn't mean the police will bother with it though.

determinedtomakethiswork · 13/06/2023 21:03

SavageTomato · 13/06/2023 21:00

You're something else. You'd seriously grass him up for doing precisely nothing to you? Apart from a bit of a smell. Boo fucking hoo.

It absolutely stinks. Why should she have that smell in her house?

FlyingSoap · 13/06/2023 21:04

Ours does too but as PPs have said no can do

Copyandpaste83 · 13/06/2023 21:04

its so annoying I hate the smell as well and it lingers for ages but I don’t think anyone would be interested unless he was dealing/growing it. Can you not buy him a bong 🙈 the smell goes pretty quickly

Sissynova · 13/06/2023 21:04

Report to who? You can’t report someone for smoking a small amount of weed in their own home for god sake.

Original poster
Frania · 13/06/2023 21:05

@Copyandpaste83 hahah yes maybe I should 😂

OP posts:
CuteBanana · 13/06/2023 21:05

Just ask him to move around the corner a bit so it doesn't come in through your window.

NewPinkJacket · 13/06/2023 21:05

Have you spoken to him and asked him to smoke it further down the garden a bit?

Depending on the wind direction, it might help.

Sissynova · 13/06/2023 21:06

determinedtomakethiswork · 13/06/2023 21:03

It absolutely stinks. Why should she have that smell in her house?

Show quote history

That’s not a reason. He could be doing all sorts of things that create a smell but he still wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.

dancinginthesky · 13/06/2023 21:14

Police have far more important things to do - the majority of the world has already legalised it. It causes less problems than alcohol and tobacco and the crime it causes could be diminished if we did legalise it

Just politely mention that the smell has been bothering you somewhat and ask if he could make sure he's far enough away from your windows

I'd be as bothered if it was tobacco smoke as weed smoke - both smell gross but aren't really worth bothering the police with or beginning a neighbour dispute when you can just politely ask

VeniVidiWeeWee · 13/06/2023 21:16

Sissynova · 13/06/2023 21:06

That’s not a reason. He could be doing all sorts of things that create a smell but he still wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.

Show quote history

OK. How about he's supporting organised crime with links to, amongst others, murder and modern day slavery?

bibbityboppityboo · 13/06/2023 21:17

This thread is like spot the pot head 😂

If you've got a good enough relationship with the parents I'd probably just pop round and say the smell is wafting into your house and is horrible, you understand he's smoking in the garden but could he do it away from the house?

It's a disgusting smell and illegal, I hate the smell of it - it's worse that cigarettes, way more cloying!

Original poster
Frania · 13/06/2023 21:17

Thanks all, yep I guess I’ll just try and mention it then 👍

OP posts:
Arightoldcarryabag · 13/06/2023 21:20

Medical Cannabis has been legal in the UK since 2018.
You shouldn't assume he isn't a legal cannabis patient and call the police, instead if he is approachable it might be better to have an adult conversation about the impact the smell is having on your family and see if compromises can be made.

It's likely he'll not want to put you out but regardless having the conversation will put him on notice and assuming he is using without a prescription, he will likely take it on board.

If not, well like you say, he'd know it was you anyway so better to be up front about it than a sneak.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 13/06/2023 21:20

@dancinginthesky

"the majority of the world has already legalised it."

No they haven't .