To hate DH playing video games in bed with me next to him??

[PegEggg]

Just that really.

DH plays his Switch next to me in bed at bedtime. He turns down the sound if I ask (he does huff about it) and sometimes will put headphones on if I say the weird zapping sounds are keeping me up...but even with no sound on it annoys me so much. I can still hear the buttons and him sighing if he loses or whatever.

I get the ick.

He says I'm being very unreasonable. I like to read and he says its the same and im being unfair. I just find it so irritating.

AIBU?

So is being a judgemental snob.

Just getting ready for bed with a 43 year old bloke grunting over a game in bed ignoring me doesn't make me feel great i guess.

But it's okay to ignore him while you have your head in a book?

And? What's wrong with that OP?

True, though.

A big fat no from me. I'm no fan of gaming & I don't agree with electronic devices in bedrooms. And that's because I value my sleep.

Hell no!

But we have a no screens upstairs rule.

Certainly not in the bedrooms.

Reading is quiet.. 1+1 stuff like.

These threads always turn into bashing gamers. There's not many groups left who people can bash now. Bless them

So the issue isn't really the gaming but that he doesn't want to spend time with you in the evenings/ignores you? YANBU to be annoyed about that for sure. Sounds like you're both maybe stuck in a rut?

I'm not a gamer, but my DH is. He is a massive one (we've spent all weekend arranging our meal tomes around the Summer Showcase events 😂He does a lot for me and doesn't ask for much, so I can give him one weekend).

But why are people saying it's childish? The gaming industry is worth more than both the film and music industries - a lot more. Many people of all ages clearly enjoy gaming; it helps to create jobs etc. There are huge benefits to gaming; watching my DH play, I agree with a PP - it's immersive, it's creative, it's storytelling, it's problem-solving, etc. Would we mock people for reading? Or tell them they're childish for getting involved with a TV show, or for enjoying a movie?

However, to keep this thread on track - it disturbs the OP from sleeping. Her DH should be aware of that, and offer a compromise. Does he need to game in bed? Can he game downstairs on the sofa, and come up to bed when he is ready? Can they maybe compromise, and agreed 2 - 3 nights a week where he games, and the other nights there are no consoles in the bedroom? Or agree a suitable time "X o'Clock is when all electronics (and books) are down, if in the bedroom."

Why does he need to go to bed at 8.30 - does he get up early for work? I wouldn't be impressed if my DH disappeared to bed leaving me the chores to do.

Can you sleep elsewhere?

Whether you think games are "childish" or not (and they aren't, it's a massive industry these days for all ages) someone playing a game in bed when you are trying to sleep is hugely irritating, even with headphones. So YANBU.

Is there any reason why he retires to his chamber with his Nintendo under his arm at 8.30 nightly, while you stay up and finish the household jobs?

This means he's had an hour and a half of playing his game by the time you get up there, so he could at the very least put it down and thank you for doing the adulting.

There is no way I'd be hopping into bed every night with a grown man who had his eyes fixated on a screen, bipping and bleeping, huffing and puffing. I think it's really rude, and this would be the slow painful death to a relationship for me.

I don't like it either. My DH is banned from doing it if I'm in the bed and he goes to the spare room until he's ready to just read or go to sleep.

I find it infuriating for some reason haha

So he retires to bed at 8.30 with his switch when there's still jobs to do? Yeah, that would give me the ick too. I dont understand why people are comparing to you reading... you are reading while he is already sat playing his game. I wouldn't sit with a reading light on if my OH was going to sleep. Am I unusual there? Why can't he sit downstairs and play his game? It's not fair if he's disturbing your sleep and I cant imagine any decent partner would continue to do something EVERY NIGHT when they know its affecting you. Surely he could compromise and stay downstairs. Am I missing something here?

I'd be pissed off with reading, phone use or videogames in bed. Why would you come to bed if you wanted to do that unless you're renting a room and have no access to a living room?

Pages of some books do make a noise. Like. That's just a fact. Omg.

BTW, as a gamer and reader - you're being a snob

He might sometimes play a game quietly on his phone whilst I'm reading a book and I don't mind that but I would hate it if it got in the way of us watching TV together, talking or having sex. As long as it's not interfering with your interaction with each other or making loads of noise I wouldn't really care.

Good for them however many adults still like playing on consoles it's not age restricted.

I understand why it's annoying but I don't think it's fair when you read in bed - either you both stop non sleep and sex activities in bed or neither of you do.

XH used to read in bed. Didn't matter if it was the ereader or a book, the noise of him reading kept me awake. He refused to stop, so I got ear plugs

What noise does reading make?

My OH does this too, just put some ear plugs in

Well I would have killed him by now. So that's my stance.

And he goes up to bed to play whilst you do the chores downstairs!

But I have to ask, if he is like this with regard to this issue, I really can't believe he is nice the rest of the time. Is he? Sounds really selfish to me.

You know what....I'm SORRY for wasting everyone's time. Why do I post random things about annoying habits of my DH when really I know in my soul he is a total joy-sapping manchild who has no interest in talking to me or shagging me. Which is good as the latter is about as much fun as being jabbed in the ribs with a finger for 4.5 minutes

I could have posted

"am I unreasonable to find it annoying my husband doesn't do washing but yet stands over me to tell I need to separate the colours and whites more effectively"

"am I unreasonable to resent the fact he flicks his contact lenses into the bed before going to sleep"

"am I unreasonable to be frustrated that he is so much of a child he has no idea how much our mortgage is or whether we have house insurance"

Etc etc and so on until the end of time

I apologise for my part in a debate about whether paper makes a noise when you turn the page

It's not about that at all. It's about me trying to make myself feel better by slagging off my husband anonymously as I don't have the courage to do it in real life

Goodbye. I apologise. Byeeeeeee

Well that escalated.