To hate DH playing video games in bed with me next to him??

[PegEggg]

Just that really.

DH plays his Switch next to me in bed at bedtime. He turns down the sound if I ask (he does huff about it) and sometimes will put headphones on if I say the weird zapping sounds are keeping me up...but even with no sound on it annoys me so much. I can still hear the buttons and him sighing if he loses or whatever.

I get the ick.

He says I'm being very unreasonable. I like to read and he says its the same and im being unfair. I just find it so irritating.

AIBU?

Get some earplugs. You get to sleep, he gets to enjoy his hobby. Problem solved.

I would hate this and would be sending him back downstairs to play his game until he's ready to actually go to sleep!

So? What difference does that make to anything?

That would be separate bedrooms for me. Ugh.

I can't believe he's complaining about using headphones. I would hate this. I'd find the moving images/lit up screen intrusive. Reading a book seems a much more passive, you sit or lie still, there's no glare from a screen.

What has that got to do with the price of fish?

An ex bf of mine used to do this,and I honestly felt like murdering him. You have my sympathy.

Yabu really; do you also play games op? Maybe you’d like it if you gave it a go

I would refuse to share a bed with him ... have you got a spare room? Or he just needs to come up to bed later.
My DH and I haven't shared a room for years .. neither of us games but it just means a more comfortable nights sleep for both of us (& no, I wouldn't be on Mumsnet at this time if I was sharing a bed ).

Er the noise ??

To PPs saying reading isn't the same, I actually find it worse - I can fall asleep with constant noise when DH is on his switch but the intermittent noise of him turning pages reading keeps me awake as I'm almost waiting for the noise.

Seems pretty fair to say either they both stop or neither does?

He absolutely should be wearing headphones or muting the volume though.

I'm sure your superiority of reading over his gaming gives him the ick 😆

Do people not talk in bed anymore? It's normally our time to chill out and talk (so neither of us read/game etc).

The gaming in bed would keep me awake, but so would the reading.

Sounds fair to say that both of you should stop 🤷‍♀️

For me because it would feel like I'm married to a manchild and it would kill my sex drive until the end of time 😁

MN hates gamers so you'll get loads of support on here.

I think if it's okay for you to read in bed with the lights on etc. then you can't really complain when he plays a game on silent.

Either you both get to read/game in bed or neither or you do.

We're all gamers here. I'm guessing he's playing the new and much awaited Zelda game? DH is ever so slightly obsessed with it but there is no way he'd even think about bringing his Switch near to me when I'm in bed. Your DH is being completely unreasonable.

my DH and I do gaming so I’m not against it, but this sounds like horrible sleep hygiene and not comparable to reading a book. But then, it’s normal to sit with your phone or ipad in bed so I suppose it’s just one step further after that.

I wouldn’t like this either.

He goes up to bed early (8.30pm or so) while I finish the tidying/odd jobs etc, and then when I go up at 9.30/10 he's so engrossed that there is no talking to him etc, so I just get ready for bed in silence, he couldn't care less about me reading because he's totally absorbed in his game. Feels pretty rubbish. I hvae talked to him and he says "we spend all evening together" etc which is true. Just getting ready for bed with a 43 year old bloke grunting over a game in bed ignoring me doesn't make me feel great i guess.

And yes, I do think it's different if I'm reading a few pages before bed. Maybe I'm being superior. He thinks I am and some people here do too.

Yanbu it is completely different to reading. I'd be annoyed too.

Surely gaming straight before going to bed is not good sleep hygiene. Also note he uses it as a way of getting out of jobs and being with you. What time does he play until?

It's funny, I remember even 15 years ago when this was the mainstream view for 99% of women and even most men. Anyone who dared touch a video game was an outcast.

YANBU

This would really irritate me and I would struggle to sleep with the constant clicking of the buttons and jerking of the arms. My dh can often scroll on his phone if he can't sleep (which is probably why he can't sleep 🙄) even the light from the phone and the movement of his arm as he scrolls wakes me up. I have no screens in the bedroom including phone or tv. To me the bedroom is a quiet relaxed space which supports sleep, gaming is the complete opposite of that and I just wouldn't be able to relax to sleep with someone doing it beside me. Hope you find a solution that works for both of you 💐

Sounds like an ignorant arse hole to me.

Disappearing to bed at 8.30 to avoid odd jobs, to avoid you, to play his game.
Bet he bandies the oft trotted out,
"But I've been at work all day"
As a reason why he can't possibly do certain stuff...

And this
"We've spent the evening together"
So work, say 9-5, home by 6 and disappearing at 8.30.. that evening is 2 hours long.

Is absenteeism rife on his part? Any other hobbies like Golf? Cycling? Fishing?

The energy if someone playing a video game is very different to someone reading, can he not compromise

Grown men playing video games is a right turn off