To think no contraception option is “good”?

[HeddaHedda]

for clarity, NC on this one because of the personal medical content

Looking into contraception options and have come to the decision they there is a downside to everything! It’s just infuriating!

• get really bad migraines so combined pill is a no.
• tried mini pill but it had terrible effect on mood (anxiety and depression exacerbated)
• copper coil - can get heavier periods and have heard many a horror story, and you can just stop using it overnight if the effects are bad
• hormonal coil - again horror stories and not easy to get a removal appointment if it doesn’t suit
• injection - bad for migraines, weight gain, not simply reversed if you don’t get on with it
• implant - again, hormones, weight gain, can be hard to get an appointment .. my friend that uses the same surgery as me hasn’t been able to get hers removed for nearly eight months!!!

not to mention spotting/bleeding side effects any of these can have

I know there are others but this is what my surgery currently offers

am I missing something obvious, or are they all annoyingly not ideal?

I would really like to have another baby at some point but now is not an ideal time. I’ve not long had (another) MC and think this is something we need to take off our plans for a while

but I want something that once it’s removed/stopped we can hopefully get on with ttc straight away

any positive stories/advice appreciated!!

YABU - there’s plenty of options , you just have to decide
YANBU - yeah they’re all a bit rubbish and it’s not fair having to put up with the downsides!

I’m not purposefully ignoring them 😂 I’m just not replying to everything with a “hmm yes maybe”

and to be fair they are annoying in their own way. I also wonder if I am the only person that finds the smell of them appalling! Haha

A few weeks ago I drove my 25 year old daughter to the pharmacy for the MAP after a condom mishap; she herself was conceived after a condom mishap!

Condoms are not infallible!

FWIW I got on very well with the mirena coil, and no probs getting it removed.

We use infertility as our contraception. It’s one of the plus sides (actually probably only one!). We did use the withdrawal method for years but it’s obvious now why that worked for us!

But I did say thank you for replies, which I am grateful for

definitely reassured and will consider some things I wouldn’t have

Hey OP
I spent many years on various pills, I forget the names of them now, but I was on it from 18-26, then I was on the implant, I bled a lot, so had that removed and went on to the mirena coil. I had no issues for 3 years and then started bleeding in between periods, I would leak through the largest pads I could find and I was so uncomfortable.

Condoms, obviously. Not liking the smell of them seems like a pretty insignificant reason compared with the drawbacks of hormonal methods.

I've tried 2 methods and didn't like either, so now I'm with a woman and it feels like the best method of all

Well obviously the smell is a minor thing, I’m just trying to lighten the mood tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

You sound wise 😂💛

Coil is working a treat, no issues. Had it removed to TTC, then had another at a later date

I used condoms from when I first had sex as a 17yo until my early 40s so about 25 years (at which point I moved to the copper coil). I only once had a split condom and had to take the MAP. I was very fertile (3DC, all conceived the first month of trying in my late 30s, early 40s) but never got pregnant by accident.

Use condoms until you are ready to conceive again then try the copper coil after your family is complete. If it doesn't agree with you then it's time for your DH to have the snip.

I always got on with the combined pill.

It didn't make me spotty, put on weight or go off sex. Most of all, I didn't get pregnant when I didn't want to.

Obviously, it's not for every woman, but I am sick of women (Davina McCall, Ulrika Jonsson etc) badmouthing it like they are doing with the menopause and periods simply to keep their careers going,

This is an interesting article.

"There have been very successful trials of male hormonal contraceptive injections," says Walker, who gives the example of the contraceptive injection , which was found to be almost 100% effective in suppressing sperm concentrations. "That worked extremely well," says Walker. "But it was halted because of worries around side effects, like mood changes and skin changes – which those of us who work with female contraception weren't really surprised about."

Poor men. Can't have them having side effects, but it's OK for women.

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230216-the-weird-reasons-male-birth-control-pills-are-scorned

It's always said: "Oh, but if men went through this, there'd be a cure for it now."

Probably, but I prefer to be in control of my contraception. That's even in stable relationships. The person that gets pregnant and has to carry the baby and bring it up, whether with or without the support of the father, give or take what he thinks is full support, is me.

I feel similarly when people ask me about abortion.

I think if men were responsible for contraception it would make women very vulnerable. People on here are quick to criticise men relying on their partner taking pill/coil etc who are unhappy if they get pregnant and the same would be said to women ‘well you shouldn’t be having sex, you ought to be on contraception if you don’t want a baby’ etc. from a biological perspective it makes more sense for women to manage contraception- they then get the ultimate choice regarding plannned or unplanned pregnancy.

I do agree with you, and personally would rather be in control of my own contraception too.

However, we don't have a choice on whether the male or female takes the birth control pill, as the male pill trials were halted due to concerns with side effects (which were no worse than for women taking the pill).

It just highlights how differently men are treated in comparison to women.

The benefits to women of effective contraception in our hands vastly outweigh putting it in the hands of men. Even those we love.

Random question ladies... has anyone lost the weight gain from the implant since having it removed?

But what would be wrong with people having the choice?

My point is that it is deemed acceptable for women to have to deal with the side effects of hormonal birth control. But trials are stopped because the same side effects are unacceptable for men.

Honestly the best thing I ever tried to get a regular period was reflexology. There's a woman called Michelle on YouTube who has loads of videos on it. Ashamed to say to begin with I didn't believe in it but it is amaaaaazing. The only thing is if I were to get pregnant at all me and my fiancée wouldn't mind so we can afford to be quite relaxed about contraception I suppose. But honestly look into reflexology to help with periods / regulating cycles and ovulation it's a game changer.

Condoms.

Same here. Have the copper coil and I love it. Slightly heavier periods, but I had heavy periods anyway. The downside was the pain to fit it, although they did give me some xanax and numbing gel, which helped.

I had bad side effects with combined pill, mini pill and hormonal coil. I didn't want to try the injection or implant due to potential side effects.

The heavy period aspect of the copper coil is a pretty minor downside compared to hormonal contraception. I have PMDD so the progesterone in any type of pill (combined or progesterone only) drove me loopy.

I am on my second copper coil (had my first one removed when I decided to TTC) and I really recommend it. The fitting (when carried out by a Dr who knows what they are doing) is less painful than a smear test, and then you are good for 10 years with no hormonal craziness, just needing to buy more absorbent pads or tampons to deal with your period.

My only advice is to get the fitting done at a sexual and reproductive health clinic (these are usually based within NHS hospitals). If you get it fitted there, you will have a Dr who specialises in fitting coils. I attempted to have one fitted at my GP surgery previously, and it was agony because they were not trained enough in that area to realise that I had a tilted uterus.

Anything strong enough to work is strong enough to have other effects. No side effect is guaranteed. We’d consider a side effect that occurred to 10% of people to be an extremely common side effect.

The side effects of unwanted pregnancy aren’t great either.

Tracking ovulation with temperature monitoring and app like natural cycles - best thing ever!