To think no contraception option is “good”?

[HeddaHedda]

for clarity, NC on this one because of the personal medical content

Looking into contraception options and have come to the decision they there is a downside to everything! It’s just infuriating!

• get really bad migraines so combined pill is a no.
• tried mini pill but it had terrible effect on mood (anxiety and depression exacerbated)
• copper coil - can get heavier periods and have heard many a horror story, and you can just stop using it overnight if the effects are bad
• hormonal coil - again horror stories and not easy to get a removal appointment if it doesn’t suit
• injection - bad for migraines, weight gain, not simply reversed if you don’t get on with it
• implant - again, hormones, weight gain, can be hard to get an appointment .. my friend that uses the same surgery as me hasn’t been able to get hers removed for nearly eight months!!!

not to mention spotting/bleeding side effects any of these can have

I know there are others but this is what my surgery currently offers

am I missing something obvious, or are they all annoyingly not ideal?

I would really like to have another baby at some point but now is not an ideal time. I’ve not long had (another) MC and think this is something we need to take off our plans for a while

but I want something that once it’s removed/stopped we can hopefully get on with ttc straight away

any positive stories/advice appreciated!!

YABU - there’s plenty of options , you just have to decide
YANBU - yeah they’re all a bit rubbish and it’s not fair having to put up with the downsides!

I've struggled on different pills and injections. I've loved having a copper coil. I'm due to have it removed, I will definitely have a replacement.

What's wrong with Condoms?

@WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack

How is having 13 periods a year for 45 years not natural? You'll have to explain that one!

Because women only having 0-3 pregnancies to term is a very modern phenomenon. In evolutionary terms it's the blink of an eye.

Our prehistoric ancestors would have started menstruating later in life and spent a very large proportion of their adulthood pregnant or exclusively breastfeeding (with a fairly limited calorie intake which would delay resumption of menstruation). They wouldn't have menstruated month after month after month for decades on end.

It causes cancer of the endometrium and ovaries, and it's not good for your iron supply.

@WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack
Ah interesting! That makes a lot of sense. I'd not thought of it like that before.
For me personally, having low risk for those cancers otherwise, and having been breastfeeding for many years, it's still not worth it enough for me to want to take it/use it.

(Just to be clear - I'm not advocating that we all go full Duggar in the name of "nature". Reproductive choices, female education and low infant mortality which all lead to lower birth rates are the absolute best thing about the 21st century. But they're not "natural")

Thanks! Glad I didn't know the statistics when I was using it 50 years ago!

As PP said, historically women would have got their period later, and spent significantly more time without periods due to more pregnancies plus natural term breastfeeding. It would have been more like, spend 2-3 years without a period while pregnant and breastfeeding, have 3-6 periods, spend another 2-3 years no period, lather rinse repeat until menopause. Assuming there was sufficient food around to support pregnancies; if there wasn't, ovulation would be suppressed.

I love the implant on my 5th year now. No side effects easy to get in then forget about it for 3yrs. I've never had a period since having it in

In your position I'd use condoms. We had to for a while & although it's not ideal it was ok. DP has had a vasectomy now we know we won't be having any more DC.

Oura ring and natural cycles app

I loved the pill. I had heavy periods with agonising cramps. The period used to last 11 days and be heavy the whole time. They really disrupted my life. The pill made them less painful (mild cramp), lighter and last 4 days. I could de idea when and off I wanted my period (fun fact- you don’t actually need to take a pill free week!) I didn’t have a period for 4 years and just enjoyed my life.

I have a mirena it's fine

I'm a contraception nurse and I agree OP. It's all a balance. Having said that natural cycles also aren't great for some people. Some women get hormone related migraines/acne/PMDD. For them hormonal contraception is a godsend.
Nothing is perfect and I discuss this with my patients. Sometimes its the least bad option. Vasectomy isn't appropriate in your case and men get bodily autonomy too. Condoms can work well so may be the best choice for now.

FWIW I have the copper coil as I prefer no hormones.

Yeah I hate it all, just did condoms for years which were brilliant, not sure why they get a bad rep. Until my womb removal which is the best!

It's a tough one OP
I used double contraception in the past

having recently come off the Pill, which I used to control periods, I now find I have to ask myself - is it okay to just use condoms? (I met someone). I'm 47 so surely I shouldn't have to deal with this contraceptive issue again?

but I guess I can get pregnant right till menopause. Argh.

I'd have thought that being 47 counts in itself as one imperfect form of contraception so if you add it to condoms which are another imperfect form of contraception you should be fine. If getting pregnant and having a miscarriage or an abortion would be a disaster or really traumatic for some reason then maybe treble up.

In my 30s I had a recurring nightmare where I found out I was pregnant too late to abort.

I do know a 48 year old who had an accident.

I can't figure out what to do.

thats interesting, are you in healthcare?

Because my conversation with a very sensible GP concluded that it is not recommended to take the combined pill when you suffer bad migraine, because of the stroke risk, but also the risk of it making them worse which it apparently can do.

when I have a migraine (which used to be about 2-3 times a week before being controlled by medication) I lose my vision for anything from 15 to 90 minutes and then can’t stop throwing up. Luckily this is only 3-4 times a month now

so it was agreed definitely not appropriate.

Natural cycles etc not the best I don’t think as my cycle can be quite long/irregular so not sure I would trust it!!

But thanks for all of your input, it’s definitely reassuring to hear some positive stories about coil etc…

might have to go and write a pros/cons table 😂

I had the depot injection in my early 20’s but for the last 30 years we’ve used condoms. Despite being post menopause since I was 46 we still use condoms 😂

Why are you ignoring all the posts saying condoms?

Serious question, OP.

Apart from the copper coil, everything you've mentioned is hormonal contraceptive, which are clearly not suitable for you. What about that oldest of barrier methods, condoms? Many people have mentioned them, but not only were they not on your initial list, you've ignored every mention of them (27 in total), which suggests to me that you are not willing to consider them.

Why is that?