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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To kill this spider

109 replies

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2023 21:25

Nc as I have shown everyone I know this photo in an attempt to get someone to evict it.

It's living right under my kitchen window and I cannot cope with the idea that it may come into the house. No one will get close enough to move it as its massive (large snail included for scale) so I'm at the stage of considering asking my dad to come round with some fly spray and kill it.

Does anyone know what kind of spider it is, even?

OP posts:
SparklyStone · 11/06/2023 21:46

Looks like a false widow maybe, we have loads around my house 😰

userxx · 11/06/2023 21:46

webster1987 · 11/06/2023 21:44

Kill it KILL it.

What the fuck has it done to you.

Don't kill the spider.

eandz13 · 11/06/2023 21:47

It's not a wolf spider, it's an Eratigena atrica (giant house spider), and weirdly I've just commented this on another spider thread, but they don't like peppermint, so maybe some essential oil mixed with water sprayed in the general area will see her run off.

Greentree1 · 11/06/2023 21:48

Put on some gloves and gently catch it carry it away from the house and release. Use some tissue to be really careful not to hurt it.

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2023 21:49

I thought false widows were smaller and brown? I can't see any markings on it either. Can I do anything to make it want to bugger off and live under someone else's box?

Would rather not kill it but it's not staying there. This is a Voldemort situation here, neither of us can live while the other survives.

OP posts:
Greentree1 · 11/06/2023 21:50

I'd be more worried about the snail it would be eating my plants tomorrow.

Refrosty · 11/06/2023 21:51

I'd temporarily vacate and give all my spider loving neighbors and friends 1 dayy to come and rescue it because sorry I'm not living alongside that.

I don't mind the flies if I'm honest! An irrational fear is me definitely being unreasonable, but I'm not going to pretend to be okay because I certainly would not be.

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2023 21:52

The snail I can cope with. I kept snails as a teenager. My rule is nothing with more than 6 legs. Peppermint. Maybe if I chuck a pack of trebor mints in there it might move out.

OP posts:
SleeplessinScarbourough · 11/06/2023 21:54

It’s a poor harmless spider that is living outside, doing you a favour by killing insects. Hardly going to shout Avada Kedavra at you through the window. There are not many of these spiders left as a parasite variety are killing them and eating their eggs - they are transparent looking similar to Daddy Long-legs and they get everywhere- you can have 4 in a room and only notice if you have the right lighting.
Please don’t kill him - call him Voldy and have a cuppa with him.

WiddlinDiddlin · 11/06/2023 21:57

It looks like a female house spider, though the angle is hard to tell male/female, I see no sign of big pedipalps (they look like big boxing gloves on males).

That means she will stay with her web, she will wait for males to come to her, she will likely kill many that do, ditto other spiders that wander in and don't scarper quickly enough.

She won't come out of there unless disturbed, until she dies.

She is entirely harmless to you, but will eat woodlice, flies, wasps, other spiders, moths etc.

The UK does not have any medically significant spiders - though of course some people may have an allergic reaction to a bite, as people may do to any insect bite. Poor hygiene/minor wound care is another reason people have seemingly horrid reactions - people don't take tiny puncture wounds seriously.

Bites from spiders are far rarer than from many other insects, for several reasons.

They are reluctant to bite us unless fearing for their lives - we are too big to kill, they generally know this. We are not food. Their jaws are positioned in a way that makes it quite awkward to bite a large flat area of human flesh, and most bites are a result of a spider being squished up against someone, ie trapped in clothing.
Biting us is very 'expensive' for them, its a waste of venom which costs a lot to produce energy wise.

Kanaloa · 11/06/2023 21:58

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2023 21:49

I thought false widows were smaller and brown? I can't see any markings on it either. Can I do anything to make it want to bugger off and live under someone else's box?

Would rather not kill it but it's not staying there. This is a Voldemort situation here, neither of us can live while the other survives.

Well but the prophecy is only true because Voldemort made it so! If he hadn’t marked Harry as his equal then it wouldn’t be true. You could be like the anti-Voldemort and turn the other cheek. Then the spider will never want to avenge his dead parents and you will be able to live together in the same world.

PaperNests · 11/06/2023 21:59

It's just a female house spider. Leave her alone she won't do you any harm.

SandTigerSharkFart · 11/06/2023 21:59

Talking about spiders..... this is hanging out in the roof of the conservatory. Does anyone know what kind it is? Sneaky suspicion that it's a false widow.😮

To kill this spider
eandz13 · 11/06/2023 22:01

@SandTigerSharkFart yep, false widow, totally harmless too!

SandTigerSharkFart · 11/06/2023 22:04

Thanks @eandz13 it's quite sizable! Fascinating markings though.

PriOn1 · 11/06/2023 22:08

SleeplessinScarbourough · 11/06/2023 21:54

It’s a poor harmless spider that is living outside, doing you a favour by killing insects. Hardly going to shout Avada Kedavra at you through the window. There are not many of these spiders left as a parasite variety are killing them and eating their eggs - they are transparent looking similar to Daddy Long-legs and they get everywhere- you can have 4 in a room and only notice if you have the right lighting.
Please don’t kill him - call him Voldy and have a cuppa with him.

I second naming her. I was thinking Susie, but Lady Voldemort might be more appropriate!

Balloonhearts · 11/06/2023 22:10

Ok I'm liking this talk about staying with her web. If she stays in there and I leave a line of extra strong peppermints on every windowsill, I could be safe. Although she does disappear every now and then for a few hours, hopefully looking at the spider equivalent of rightmove.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 11/06/2023 22:12

Try and think of her as a friend.

To kill this spider
Fivecluckyhens · 11/06/2023 22:17

Give her a name and talk to her. Sounds silly but it might help you feel less afraid.

Englishrosegarden · 11/06/2023 22:17

I had "Charlotte" (female house spider) living in my bathroom window for several months last year. She would hide in the blind recess during the day but came out to keep me company when I had a bath in the evenings. We had some lovely in depth discussions and I was very sad to see her upside down on the windowsill one morning. She was still alive and we turned her back over in the hope that she would recover, but sadly she died a few hours later. We were all gutted.
RIP Charlotte, you were loved.

Hesma · 11/06/2023 22:22

Just don’t leave your washing out overnight!🤣

AnyaMarx · 11/06/2023 22:22

Englishrosegarden · 11/06/2023 22:17

I had "Charlotte" (female house spider) living in my bathroom window for several months last year. She would hide in the blind recess during the day but came out to keep me company when I had a bath in the evenings. We had some lovely in depth discussions and I was very sad to see her upside down on the windowsill one morning. She was still alive and we turned her back over in the hope that she would recover, but sadly she died a few hours later. We were all gutted.
RIP Charlotte, you were loved.

Awwww this is so lovely . Sad she died but she obviously had a nice place to live . Well done ❤️

Panteranoir · 11/06/2023 22:32

I'm terrified of spiders OP. Really hate them and last weekend there was one on the outside of my front door frame that looked like the Daddy. It was the Tyson Fury of spiders. Humongous. Huge. Pretty sure I heard it say 'alright love' in a voice reminiscent of Ray Winston as I carefully sidled past.

I did leave it alone but live in constant fear it will come in through the air brick or possibly even just unlock the front door. We've had whoppers already this year at home and work. Including one that popped up next to my head from behind the back of the sofa. It was an excellent opportunity to see a fat menopausal lady vault off the sofa in a nanosecond.

You do what's right for you.

Besides the people screeching 'leave the spider alllllooooooone' are probably the same ones saying all dogs are hateful and I doubt they're all vegan. They'll also tell you spiders won't hurt you, when in fact some can bite and the eight legged bastards don't give a shiny shit if they cause you to have a fatal heart attack. And they tell you that outside ones don't come inside. They do. I've caught a fucking massive one strolling in through my bedroom window once. I once had a running battle with a giant one trying to run under the big roller shutter door at work. The only thing I had to hand was a shovel. I ran about like a banshee banging the shovel on the concrete floor to try and frighten it back out. It worked, but it was a close run thing. It really wanted in.

Spider bites

This is a link to a daily record article with an expert explaining that they can bite and they they do come in.

Mumsnet is absolutely holier than thou when it comes mental health, anxiety, PTSD, OCD etc but people who suffer with very real, very debilitating phobias are treated with disdain and mocked by people with no empathy. I totally understand how horrid it must be for you to have that spider so close. I have a physical reaction to them. My entire arms and legs immediately turn to goosebumps when I see one.

If you need to, get your Dad to come and squash the bugger. If you feel guilty maybe don't eat meat for a fortnight or something?

UK spiders that can bite explained by expert - how to keep them out of your home

While most found spiders in the UK are not harmful to humans, there are certain critters that can bite if provoked

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/uk-spiders-can-bite-revealed-28102083.amp?bshm=ncc/2

JaneJeffer · 11/06/2023 22:44

But look at all the other crawly things it has eaten and saved you from.