Aggressive ice-cream man blaming me

[Itsjustasreetfullofkarens]

This could be long, but I'm currently the subject of a local Facebook group, as two days after I was threatened and intimidated by the local ice cream man for saying something he didn't like about his conduct, he posted a long take of woe on the estate only group about the abuse he'd suffered from 'a Karen' on the estate.

I'm furious because he'd already upset me, but was so arrogant as if he was god's gift to the estate - 'all children love me for serving ice-cream, I'm here to make my customers happy, not you', but his parking nearly contributed to an accident.

His post has been unanimously supported with about 50 neighbours fawning over him and his ice cream, saying he's so friendly, cares about the kids, they get so excited, please don't let this vile cretin stop you coming.... But I wasn't at all threatening or abusive to him. It was the other way around.

I pulled up well behind him because he was blocking my drive, stopped right over the dropped kerb, opposite a junction. There were two cars parked further up ahead of him, where it was straight and to be fair, be does stop if he can. I waited and indicated (couldn't see me as he was serving through the side hatch) and a customer seemed to tell him he should move up. Before he did, a car approached me at speed, veered quickly around us all and then had to brake hard as there were kids crossing. They didn't know there were other cars in front, due to the height of the van.

After he moved and I parked, I went to get my bin and as I walked up he asked what he could get me, oblivious. Since he was the 'friendly local ice cream man' I asked if he could help out with the congestion by not blocking access, and tried to say what happened.

He said he'd moved and to get over it. I said yeah, thanks for moving, but still don't stop there again.

I got a mouthful of abuse - who do you think you are, why should I listen to a woman, ive been driving longer than you, ive done the job a long time, you're not my boss, noone else has a problem, how long have you even lived here, you didn't have to wait long, I'll park where I like, report me if you're not happy.

I stupidly went out when he pulled up the next day, this time partially blocking me in. He asked some nearby kids, who hadn't left as they sensed some drama from his tone, if they thought he was parked safely, as if this vindicated him. He encouraged them to film me and my 'aggression' towards him, still pointing and shouting at me. They were cheeky too, butting in to say my drive wasn't mine (?), Loads of cars were parked on the road, shut up moaning etc. He then asserted that these kids had come up to him to report how I always told them off. They denied this, 'nah it wasn't her, we just live on a street full of Karens'. I pointed out that other neighbours had said the drive blocking was becoming a problem, but he didn't seem to lose his temper with men. Ironically one of the kids piped up to say that what I said made me sexist... They got free ice cream and told to get their parents to send him the footage. Huge waste of time and energy.

He tells it that those kids had to tell me to leave him alone because I was so awful. Now there are people asserting that it was their kids and they came home upset about the aggressive lady.

It's not the whole neighbourhood, but if I'm somehow identified to one of these 50 who've lapped if all up (as nobody will say otherwise, it's just an echo chamber) I don't know what will happen.

I did speak to him. He was in the wrong. He went further. I didn't broadcast it and now I'm hated, and this man will still be right outside my house once a day when he chooses.

AIBU to report him to someone? Who? Should I try to set the story straight or stay out of it? Feel like I need to move, all because he's loved by kids for giving them sugar and it's unthinkable that he just didn't like his behaviour being called out.

I really concerned about how many people and especially children are indoctrinated into this ‘Karen’ nonsense. I have a wonderful friend called Karen who works in customer services and has been give blessing by her manager to use a different name at work because of the hassle she gets over it. It’s misogynyistic tripe used to silence her omen who dare object to anything, and it has to stop. I heard my 10yo say it and came down on them like a tonne of bricks, I was not impressed.

A Karen is a white and entitled woman who tries to demand that their preferences are put before general rules and who believes she is entitled to have things her own way, typically is demeaning to non white people and demands they comply or threatens to go to 'the authorities'. It does not just mean 'woman' it is an indictment of behaviour not sex or race.

No, ‘a Karen’ is a woman called Karen.

People who are thick and ignorant use the above bullshit to try and justify their misogyny and racism. Isn’t it funny how men overwhelmingly commit the majority of violent crimes yet it’s women who get a rude moniker because they have the nerve to complain about something.

Best advice!

“A Karen is a white and entitled woman who tries to demand that their preferences are put before general rules and who believes she is entitled to have things her own way, typically is demeaning to non white people and demands they comply or threatens to go to 'the authorities'. It does not just mean 'woman' it is an indictment of behaviour not sex or race.”

Wow, you managed to fit racism and misogyny into one post @niceseasidetown . Well done slow hand clap 👏 😒

I'm not really siding with the ice cream man but he's a probably working class man doing a reasonably thankless low earning job and sometimes in those situations you cut corners. Moaning at him about occasionally pulling up in the slightly wrong place feels a bit like having a go at a Tesco delivery driver for pulling up in the wrong place for a few minutes. It's unnecessary friction on their hard jobs.

I imagine the Tesco delivery driver would block the driveway of the person they are actually delivering groceries to though.

So because he’s working class (nice stereotype there) he can break the law?

Tesco delivery drivers are delivering to specific houses, not offering a communal service

This is where it originally came from during the Trump era, from America, though. It meant exactly that original definition. It's obviously changed its meaning now with people using it to keep women in their place, which is terrible, but it's fine to acknowledge how is started, surely? We don't need to pretend that it never meant racist, etc, because that's exactly the context it came from.

Thank you so much @Outofthepark

That Hog person really, really upset me. I was explaining the meaning of the term and trying to do so neutrally

I wasn't racist or misogynistic and I will block that user because although I realise it's ignorance driving her, it's not an excuse to hurl hurtful accusations around

I’ve cream vans are a menace. Bloke sounds an entitled prick. Just keep out of the way.

If he can't do his"thankless low earning job" without causing unnecessary inconvenience and creating a road hazard, perhaps he should get a different one.

Well my grandad retired a few years ago now but I can assure you it was anything but low earning ! I've never met a skint icecream man and I've been around them all my life

He was always very careful about where he parked though. One of his worst fears was a child being hit be ause they were on their way to or from his van. It happens an awful lot

Well my grandad retired a few years ago now but I can assure you it was anything but low earning ! I've never met a skint icecream man and I've been around them all my life

Isn't that not because of the ice cream but the extras they supposedly sell?

Are you asking if her grandad was a drug dealer?

Have a bit of decorum!

🙄 yeah right old drug dealer my grandad was

Go and buy a box of screws and sprinkle a few where he parks.

just remember to sweep them up before you drive over them.

It wasn't the ice cream van that nearly caused an accident it was the poor driving of the other car that barged past you without considering that you were stopped for a reason and should have waited patiently or proceded slowly and cautiously, aware that there might be hazards ahead if normal sightlines weren't clear. You are blaming the ice cream van rather than the neighbour.

Icecream vans sometimes block driveways, it's ok because they aren't there for long, it's not like they are parked all day unattended. For all you know the space further on might have been occupied when he arrived, or if it was empty there might have been some kids kicking a ball about in the road just there such that it was safer to park well back. Like the bin lorry, getting het up over them being stopped inconveniently is misplaced, they will move on soon.

Like PP say above it's not worth trying to win a battle online. That never goes well.

If he is genuinely rude, agressive and careless with his parking then sooner or later everyone in the estate will stop buying from him and he will focus his route elsewhere. If he's generally ok and this was just a blip then his generally good service and behaviour are more important than this incident.

I think I knew him - for an extra fiver he would slip you a bottle of Night Nurse or a tube of Rennies with your 99 and give you a cheeky wink.

It's not the other rubbish driver who is trying to blacken someone's name, though, is it?

And no - ice cream vans aren't allowed to park wherever the heck they like "because they aren't there long". They still have to obey the law and have a responsibility to park safely.

I think people are picturing Frank Gallagher 😁