Does anyone else find it hard to have to follow rules in life

[Yayitsgoggleboxtonight]

Not rules exactly, not really sure how to explain it.
For example, I’ve always hated working a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, working for a boss. I did it for a long time-teaching, and looking back, I’ve no idea how I did it. My dream was to work for myself and make my own hours, that’s what I’m doing. I feel freer, deliberately don’t work Mondays, as I found them so hard etc.
I don’t like answering to someone else, hence why I’m now my own boss, I really struggled with office politics and pointless meetings and so on.
I’m finding I’m becoming worse with it the older I get. Dd is at Pre school now (they start formal school at 6-7 where I am) she goes part time and the other week she missed a day because we went away. I just really resented the asking her where she’d been and the judgement from the teacher..she plays all day 🤷🏻‍♀️
I realise lots of us probably feel the same, but with regards to school etc, I’m getting a bit worried about my attitude to it all and the fact that I’m increasingly not liking the system
Anyone else like this?

Look at adhd "symptoms"....

A lot of how we live is against the circadian rhythm. Structure is good for people to a degree but a lot of these man made enforced rules are quite outdated.

Personally, no I don't feel this way. Working for myself isn't something I would ever want - I prefer the defined structure of fixed hours and clear expectations. No judgement intended OP - it's fascinating that we're all different!

Have you heard of demand avoidance. Massive eye opener for me!

Lots of people do.

Have you got a less structured private school near you?

Do you not have to abide by the requirements and timescales of your customers whilst working for yourself?

You are aware that play is how toddlers and young children learn, right?

You say they “play all day” as if it doesn’t mean anything, when actually, your child learns mostly through play and it’s really important.

I have adhd and I feel this way. I am not my own boss as such but found the next best thing which is a wfh job where I have full control over what hours I do and when.

I absolutely loathe routine. Its my worst nightmare. My mum is retired yet she has a daily routine of always getting up, showering, eating, doing her housework etc which never deviates from the times she has set for these things. And her life horrifies me! It's my idea of hell.

The best/only advice I can give you is to try and fulfil what the DC need (in terms of obligations etc) but don't fight against who you are. It will get you nowhere.

For example, I’ve always hated working a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, working for a boss. I did it for a long time-teaching, and looking back, I’ve no idea how I did it. My dream was to work for myself and make my own hours, that’s what I’m doing. I feel freer, deliberately don’t work Mondays, as I found them so hard etc.
I don’t like answering to someone else, hence why I’m now my own boss, I really struggled with office politics and pointless meetings and so on.

Wow, I could’ve written this. I loathe the drudgery and arbitrary rules that come with a 9-5, office politics and Mondays! But I haven’t found the courage to leave due job security and well because I’m not sure I have what it takes to be self employed! Can I ask what sort of business you run? You don’t have to answer as I know it could be outing.

For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done amazingly well and, while pre-school is important, instilling a sense of autonomy in your dd is also vital. We’re not robots.

I think most people hate pointless meetings and the drudge of the 9-5 to be honest. I’ve never met anyone who’s thrilled to sit in a pointless and dull staff meeting. So that’s not unreasonable.

Being angry/resentful that the preschool teacher asked why your child wasn’t at their planned session is unreasonable. Realistically it is the social norm to call and let the nursery/preschool know you will not be attending. It’s a bit rude not to. And we are not judging you - we are expected to keep records of absences for safeguarding purposes. It’s a bit silly to be resentful or annoyed about them asking why you didn’t attend.

I’m aware that children learn through play :) She plays all day, every day, with us, with friends, play dates at weekends..two days break away (which also included a kids club and so on) was great for her and us as a family.

I informed the Pre school that she wouldn’t be in that day, I sensed the teacher was a bit judgemental about it. This is the thing, I completely understand they need to know if she’s absent and I follow the rules with this, but I just hate it, not sure why.

I do have to answer to clients as it were and be on time and so on, but it’s so much more flexible, there were just so many rules in teaching..and I stuck to them all, but I’m very surprised looking back.

I don’t think it’s adhd, I’ve wondered about autism in the past perhaps, for some other reasons, but I’m not sure.

@CheeseDreamsTonight Ive heard of it, will look it up now, love the username 😅

I even hate that they have to wear part of a uniform and the rules about being *Allowed not to wear it on a certain day…I don’t know, maybe I’m turning into some old hippy 😂I wasn’t like this as much when younger, well I think I was but I repressed it more

I’m the same and have now managed to create a life that suits me, I don’t think we’re all meant to fit into a Mon - Fri 9-5 work / school thing.
Im certainly not and am meeting more and more people like me as I leave that world behind

OP I feel this, what kind of work do you do?

OP- Google PDA. I bet you recognise yourself there.

I’ve looked at PDA, seems much more excessive though?

Interesting that people who prefer to live without routines, and bosses and pointless rules are seen to maybe have adhd or autism, and that the people who prefer to live by the the rules society has invented are seen as normal.

I'm with you OP I can't stick to any routine and always resented teachers telling me the rules myself and my children should be following 😁 fortunately my workplace has flexitime and my boss leaves me to get on with my work. I do have a colleague though who is constantly trying to tell other people what the rules are 🙄

I've always hated being told what to do when I can't see a real reason for it. I know that everyone does to some extent but I cannot stand it, my husband says I have a problem with authority...!
When I started working 9-5 after uni and commuting I just thought it was the biggest waste of time ever, couldn't understand why we needed to live in such a rigid structure when it doesn't work for everyone.
The pandemic has sorted out my working patterns and now I can work from home in a very flexible way. This has transformed my life.
I definitely don't have ADHD. I think I have whatever the opposite of ADHD is. I score basically zero on those quizzes online for it.

What I find interesting is that so many people will still stick to routines even if they don't have to. My team of 10 are home based. We can work when we like. Only one has children and a partner (so I see why 9-5 works for him). one other seems to work as and when like me. The rest all want to stick to the 9-5 thing. Ofc they may have reasons I don't know about. But I think it is very ingrained in people.

For me I just can't focus for 8 hours straight. I'll do a couple of hours and maybe go off and do something else. I really struggled in an office. I also didn't cope well with managers being around all the time! I do more/better work now I'm at home.

I find it really curious that when anyone mentions anything mildy beyond your boring average, on MN everyone starts trying to pathologise it and make it 'a diagnosis'.

What you are experiencing is sooooo normal! Most of us feel this, especially as teenagers, but then we push it down to try to fit in with society and just get used to the drudgery.

Think about how humans developed and evolved. It wasn't to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day staring at screens for little tokens in exchange. Our current lifestyle is relatively new and has come about through capitalism and globalisation, but from a 'human perspective' it will feel constrictive for a lot of us.

Saying all this, I am a slave to the machine ;) but that longing for freedom and creativity and adventure is entirely normal and human

Yeah, I couldn't stand it now either. I now work in a non-hierarchical small organisation with very few obvious rules and we are all pretty senior and are trusted to get on with things. I could never work with someone micromanaging me now, or doing timesheets or presenteeism or clocking on and off or having a strict dress code or dozens of pointless meetings or basically anything where I'm just a minion making already rich people richer.

I think the more senior you are and good at what you do, the more you can decide how, where and how much you want to work.

I hate working FT (since the children, I haven't although I seem to have no problem doing OT which often adds up to over FT hours). I think I can't bare to know that I have to go to work every week M-F, and do all the other things that I have to do.

Some of us just see it as the BS it is and don’t want to join in. It doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with you. Maybe it’s healthy!

I’m like this. I suspect I’m ND in some way. It’s a headfuck because I am vvvvv hard working and “client orientated” to use the corporate phrasing - I’d walk on hot coals before letting someone down in even a minor way, and I’m a bit of a workaholic. But tell me that I have to be at my desk from 9-5 and I basically spend the whole day procrastinating.