Does anyone else find it hard to have to follow rules in life

[Yayitsgoggleboxtonight]

Not rules exactly, not really sure how to explain it.
For example, I’ve always hated working a Mon-Fri 9-5 job, working for a boss. I did it for a long time-teaching, and looking back, I’ve no idea how I did it. My dream was to work for myself and make my own hours, that’s what I’m doing. I feel freer, deliberately don’t work Mondays, as I found them so hard etc.
I don’t like answering to someone else, hence why I’m now my own boss, I really struggled with office politics and pointless meetings and so on.
I’m finding I’m becoming worse with it the older I get. Dd is at Pre school now (they start formal school at 6-7 where I am) she goes part time and the other week she missed a day because we went away. I just really resented the asking her where she’d been and the judgement from the teacher..she plays all day 🤷🏻‍♀️
I realise lots of us probably feel the same, but with regards to school etc, I’m getting a bit worried about my attitude to it all and the fact that I’m increasingly not liking the system
Anyone else like this?

I always wondered who the fuck thought 5 days at work and 2 days off was fair and a good idea.

DS9 rants about the 5 days in school and only 2 off so I completely empathise with him

Recently I became self employed, still getting used to it but hopefully it will work out and I will have a better balance

Totally empathize OP.
I guess it comes down to not wanting to be controlled/wanting freedom?
There are so many ways that society controls us today that it’s natural to want to push back against it a bit.

I can relate to this as I feel quite similar although I actually like my own routine. And the older I get the more I find structure helps me.

What I resent is structure and process for its own sake. And structure which can’t be challenged.

My requires a lot of structure and process and to some degree it’s necessary to project management but I feel like quite a lot of it is just because that’s always how it’s been done.

My industry attracts a lot of very anal/Type A types who get anxious and start flapping when any element of the routine is changed or questioned. I’m very much not like this and while I have adapted to it I think a lot of it is pretty unhealthy: it entrenches ways of working and thinking about work in certain ways and is very closed to new approaches.

Unfortunately I think these types of people tend to do well in companies and organisations because they are very good at not rocking boats and are seen as “safe pairs of hands”. It’s quite difficult for people to challenge these structures.

Healthy organisations are able to be self reflective and change processes if they unhelpful but these types of people always default to an “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” mentality which makes any kind of change really difficult.

My job requires

I think a lot of modern life is controlled. Our housing system is such now that the only real security comes from owning a property. So that then ties you to earning a certain wage for 25+ years. People are also now terrified of poverty in old age so again people will work even when it's not financially viable because they're concerned about missing pension payments.

The phrase "the cost of living" in itself depresses me. Why does it cost hundreds a month just to be alive and keep a roof over your head and food on the table? My rent, CT, basic bills etc are over half my wage, before food and more optional bills. On a wage that has already been reduced by a third for tax, NI etc.

Unless you're willing to live a simple life off grid, which I admit I would find too hard. We are trapped in being slaves to the system.

I've met many people who would never want to work a traditional office job. I am OK with it, especially as retirement is on the near horizon. So I get where you are coming from OP.

Yes I feel like this particularly when it comes to rules that don’t have a logical point. My last job was at a local authority, and the entire department was just one big pencil pushing machine. When I questioned why we couldn’t do things a certain way (e.g quicker but with the same result) it was because rules. Not even external rules that we had no control over, but rules that the department imposed on itself. It just wasted time and money.

I don’t work for myself but I’m not in a traditional job, I don’t have a direct manager or general office expectations hanging over me. The job is reactive, little box ticking and there is a point to most of the process.

I do think about how I’ll ‘manage’ these feelings if I have kids. I don’t think I’d necessarily want them to feel the same (e.g towards school) like I do because it’s frustrating, but at the same time I don’t know how I’ll bring myself to enforce some of the ridiculous school rules I read about on here. There was a thread a while ago, with people tying themselves in knots over a colourful line on black socks because it’s against the rules

Yes, this is me. 30 years in an office job and I had enough of the whole treadmill.

Now I work for myself, outdoors, not all day, not all week, not
all year. I don't like appointments, meetings, schedules, routines. The only routines I have are around my dog - feeding, vets visits etc. Everything else is flexible.

I suppose I've emerged from normal into the old hippy I was always destined to be. It suits me perfectly.

I don't feel like this personally, but I love my job and it doesn't feel like a chore. Rules fundamentally exist to keep everyone on a level playing field; I don't like rules for the sake of rules, but the majority have a basis in logic.

@BunnyBettChetwynnd This is amazing, do you mind me asking what you do?
i definitely feel it’s more of an age thing and has been worse since I had my Dd, im
mid forties

Could still be autism.

This is me. Never have been able to suffer fools - or ridiculous rules and regulations.
Still an old punk at heart.

Google adult ADHD

I feel the same OP. I thought that earlier when I read a thread about having to ask for time off for a wedding.

I feel very lucky that I have never had to ask for time off. I would resent the idea hugely.

On a coubterpoint you all rely on people who can and do work to routines.

I suspect you would be pissed off if the shops weren't open when you expected it, or you didn't have electricty or healthcare reliably.

Key workers can't just turn up when they fancy it.

Routines and social norms are essential for society to keep running.

Perimenopause symptoms can magnify things, lots of women are getting diagnosed in later life.
Living abroad may also have masked things eg you feel out of place and think it’s due to cultural or language issues but perhaps more.
I recognise you from other posts you have made and I have wondered if you were neurodivergent.

Boris, is that you?

Totally relate to this…

can’t abide any kind of rules or being told what to do especially really pointless ones which make no sense at all.

although I adhered to school uniform and other BS school regulations for the sake of my children I really find it quite futile and totally resented having to comply.

I get irate when people offer their opinions or advice when he hadn’t been asked for, it offends me as it’s like they think I’m too stupid that I either hadn’t thought of that or am somehow unaware.

I too am now self employed- I love the freedom, autonomy and flexibility.

on the outside I’m very smiley, polite and approachable, but inside most people either annoy me or bore me with their drivel.

I’m also more aware of this as I get older

@Dixiechickonhols Which other posts and why have you wondered that? Neurodivergant how?

*Neurodivergent

To some extent, yes. I have never managed a 9-5 job, or office politics, always been far happier self-employed, setting my own hours. Also found it tedious when schools made petty rules. I was once called into school to have a word with the teacher because DS had refused to put his coat on at playtime. I was utterly baffled. he didn't want to wear his coat, I tried to explain. No, he was told to wear his coat and should have obeyed. If someone told me how warm or cold i was and how much clothing I needed, I'd think they were buts and DS aged 5 thought the teacher was nuts.

I gathered from her and from other mums that my bafflement was weird.
I have ADHD btw in case it's relevant.

@Yayitsgoggleboxtonight I have a little gardening round. Tootle about in my van doing the gardens. I arrive when I like, let myself and the dog into the garden, do my job, drink my flask and bugger off home when I've finished. Sometimes I cycle off to the lido, sometimes I do my own garden, sometimes I walk the dog and have a glass of beer in the pub. I tried volunteering but couldn't stand the rules or the set hours...so now I pick up litter on my dog walks and feel like I'm doing my bit.

Lots poorer than I was in my office job but I don't want much so that's fine.

Mid forties was when an urgent need to be more free bit me. Parents died, all other responsibilities gone and I realised if I did another year in my job it would be the same as the last.

When I look back I was removing myself from normality in small steps over the years. Perhaps you can find ways of doing that and find freedom in happy installments.

@Gtsr443 Another old punk here. It never dies.

No, I'm the opposite! I've been a teacher for 27 years and am used to my life running to the rhythm and rules of the school day. I was freelance/self-employed for a while and found it destabilising. I guess I'm institutionalised! I'm very good at doing as I'm told. I find it kind of liberating, in a odd sort of way. It removes a lot of the decision fatigue from life!

What I find interesting is that so many people will still stick to routines even if they don't have to.

People like routine. It's comforting and reassuring.

Get this completely. I struggle daily. I hate the daily grind. Unfortunately, being a talentless mid-50s financially poor woman, I'm having to suck it up and get on with it. I'm bored shitless. I screwed up massively as a young woman trying to fit in with expectations at the time. I didn't have the confidence to carve my own path. If I didn't have my dog, I would go nuts.

I’ve wondered about autism in the past perhaps, for some other reasons, but I’m not sure.

It has nothing to do with autism. Nor does it sound like PDA, which is much more serious than just not wanting to follow rules, which is how you describe your feelings, OP.

Some people are more rule-following; some are less. That's life.