To have challenged teenagers at the park?

[KiteSirfer]

I was with my two dc aged 6 and 9 at the playground in the park this evening.

Three young teenage boys were kicking a football. I asked them to stop, or to move into the park rather than nearly hitting young children in the playground. They became quite mouthy, refusing to move. So when their ball almost hit my kids for the second time, I picked it up and put it in the bin, to prevent them keep nearly hitting young kids with it.

All three of them then started arguing with me, calling me crazy, swearing, claiming it was child abuse I'd put their ball in the bin. Of course they easily retrieved the ball from the bin, then kept arguing with me. I was quite calm, kept explaining why their behaviour was dangerous and why Id asked them to stop. They also filmed me without my permission but I didn't say anything 'wrong'. Eventually they calmed down and we parted company.

Aibu to have challenged them? I'm a bit concerned they filmed me in discussion and claimed 'child abuse' for putting their ball in the bin. I should probably have walked away. The level of disrespect they had for adults and other children was quite sad and astonishing, I don't know how teachers deal with this level of disrespect, their language and behaviour was awful.

*judgey

If teenagers want to play football there are lots of fields knocking about. We don’t “live in a world where teenagers can’t do anything.”

They don’t get a free pass to do whatever they want just because they’re older kids.

Plenty of clubs they can join too rather than spoiling other people’s fun.

@BitOutOfPractice - well you are obviously a model parent who never judges anyone 🤔.

And I didn't use the phrase 'ignorant thugs' to describe anyone.

You weren't wrong to ask them to move, but it is borderline abusive to throw their ball in a bin. Generally it's best to stay calm and reasonable and repeat yourself politely than to resort to such tactics - which ultimately reveal your lack of power over them anyway - who can't take a ball out of a bin?

I'm a teacher and dealt with a parent complaining about the behaviour of a group of our older pupils in a park recently. Having spoken to the children and their parents who were also around, it was clear the complainant had escalated and inflamed an easily solvable situation. Yes, some of the kids were rude to them, but only because they were provoked by an unreasonable adult.

How many kids of that age would challenge teenagers??

Abusive???

Antagonistic maybe but where exactly was there abuse??

so that was what you were saying. Interesting.

@TheReverendBeeb oh I absolutely wasn’t. I was lucky and I did my best. I am very very aware of my luck. As I know some shit parents with delightful kids. And some wonderful parents with horrors! It’s taught me not to judge too quickly or too make too many assumption.

I wonder what the OP,s kids have learned from this encounter? To go straight for the nuclear option I’d suspect. And a very poor grasp of risk assessment.

Thats why I used the word 'borderline'. Abuse means to treat someone badly. It's not generally considered acceptable to remove a stranger's property from them in a public place. If you then destroyed it, that would be wrong. Dumping it in a bin is not as bad but hardly an acceptable action.

They will post it and call u a "karen"

Nor was their behaviour.

Actions have consequences. Sadly they still were able to retrieve the ball.

I wonder what would have happened if the OP had been with a 6ft+ body builder husband? They wouldn't have been so cocky then, would they?

This country has so much antisocial behavour that it's actually borderline miserable (or more than borderline if you're unlucky enough to live in a crap area).
Why must people defend it? Why can't there be a general intolerance for poor standards of behaviour?

Wow you are brave 😵. They could have stabbed you...or maybe that's just London.

@BitOutOfPractice - I agree that there's an element of luck with DC but there's far more influence on their behaviour from parenting. Having worked with teenagers for a long while, their attitudes and behaviours towards others often fall into place when you meet their parents. That may sound v judgemental and I was constantly checking myself in my professional role and attempting to consider the bigger picture. However, I am only human and it's disingenuous to think that kids grow up in a vacuum in terms of their attitudes.

There is a general sense of what is right or wrong with behaviour but these days there seems to be a lot more of 'well I have decided what's happening is wrong so I am in the right and anything different to that means you are wrong'

No but they are not adults. I'm just saying it is better to act in the way you would like them to act.

You’ll be on Tik Tok somewhere.

Well done. You did the right thing. Our local playground seems to keep ending up with broken glass all around the play equipment after teens hang out there in the evenings. It’s such a shame. So many other places for the teenagers to hang out. (Not that they should be breaking glass bottles anywhere!).

Of course you’re right. Like I said, I did my best and luckily it paid off.

and if you’ve trained yourself to check your prejudice in a professional setting, I’d have thought you’d have done so here before saying “out loud” to people’s faces, your “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” and “aren’t you the perfect parent 🙄” judgey shit as well. Just a thought

Sorry that was to @TheReverendBeeb

I saw one get stuck in a baby swing the other week 😂 Fire brigade had to come and get her out 🤦‍♀️ He said she wasn't the first...

Well I am retired now and thankfully not posting on MN in a professional capacity. I am therefore free to give my judgey pants free rein 😂. They have built up quite a bit of pressure over the years and I am obviously letting them rip (perhaps with rather too much gusto). To quote my teenagers- My Bad 🤭.

That was for @BitOutOfPractice 😁

Well we all have plenty of gusset pressure built up (perhaps we should leave the pants analogy behind? 😬 ) but I don’t think letting it vent is always the best thing? On account of the fact that there’s people here reading this that you’re referring to (like me!) And, if they are dealing with professionals like yourself, wondering if they are that judgey as well!