To have challenged teenagers at the park?

[KiteSirfer]

I was with my two dc aged 6 and 9 at the playground in the park this evening.

Three young teenage boys were kicking a football. I asked them to stop, or to move into the park rather than nearly hitting young children in the playground. They became quite mouthy, refusing to move. So when their ball almost hit my kids for the second time, I picked it up and put it in the bin, to prevent them keep nearly hitting young kids with it.

All three of them then started arguing with me, calling me crazy, swearing, claiming it was child abuse I'd put their ball in the bin. Of course they easily retrieved the ball from the bin, then kept arguing with me. I was quite calm, kept explaining why their behaviour was dangerous and why Id asked them to stop. They also filmed me without my permission but I didn't say anything 'wrong'. Eventually they calmed down and we parted company.

Aibu to have challenged them? I'm a bit concerned they filmed me in discussion and claimed 'child abuse' for putting their ball in the bin. I should probably have walked away. The level of disrespect they had for adults and other children was quite sad and astonishing, I don't know how teachers deal with this level of disrespect, their language and behaviour was awful.

( including the adult justifiers on here).

I don't want to live in a world where teenagers are told they can't play football in a park

Did you read the OP post though? They literally had a park, and instead chose to kick a ball in a small playground aimed at younger children.

@IBetGordonRamsayDoesntHaveTheseProblems

Oh come on, you've got an answer for everything. Every teenage boy I've known has had a games console. And played football if they wanted to.

Nobody went to youth centres! Because they'd rather be out playing football. Which they can still do, just not in the children play area.

I think you did the right thing. Some behaviour needs challenging. If everyone were to sit back and do nothing then we sink into a very ugly place where we quite literally act like animals.

Yesterday DH and I stopped a group of teenagers from piling up benches and cardboard to start a fire. This was on the site of an old priory. They were climbing on the ruins and throwing down the stones. One of them could have been injured. We got lots of abuse but eventually they calmed down and started to apologise. Most of these kids aren't bad, but they need direction. Sadly there is very little for teenagers to do, no where for them to go, nothing useful or more interesting.

To PP the teenagers had the option of playing football in the big park area, they'd just chosen to use the small kids playground, which is in a corner next to the big field. The park is probably ten times the size of the little playground.

I wasn't trying to stop their fun - I was asking them to use the field/park rather than a playground being used by younger kids.

Seems fair to me. Most "teenage" stuff in parks - skate ramps etc- are rendered totally unusable by small children all day.

I think teenagers should be provided with their own swings and spaces in parks from which younger children should be kept out but this will never happen.

YABU but only because it was a blooming dangerous thing for you to do (at least where I live would be!). We have gangs of teenagers roaming about attacking people at random and uploading the footage onto TikTok and Snapchat, I’d not risk that if I was alone and definitely not when I had children with me. Your personal safety is a lot more important than trying to teach strangers a lesson. I hope you don’t receive any backlash from the footage being put online.

This. If yous asked them in a reasonable manner most teenagers would have moved on. Putting a ball in the bin juat escalates the situation.

Parks are for playing football in it's better the kids there playing a game of footy rather than being on the streets terrorising people. Perhaps if you had a nice conversation with them I'm sure they would have moved but it sounds like you've had a bit of an aggressive stance.

Reading comprehension is not very strong with some of the replies to this post.

Why kick a ball around a kids playground area when you have a whole park to play in? Some little shits love to start trouble and they believe they are untouchable. If a ball nearly hit my kid twice you’d be a fool not to say something.

A 6 or 9 year old being hit by a football is just not something to get to worried about really is it?
but it is a shame that they didn’t just politely move out of the park. if you’d been talking about two toddlers then I would have done the same as you!

Tbf, OP didn't say "don't play football in the park" she said "play football in the bit of the park that is a field".

I'm picturing a set up similar to a local park/playground, where it's a large field with a path to a small, quite tightly packed playground. A proper football bouncing round off equipment and the fence at head height in there and kids running after it would be a pain.

If the teens had been playing/sitting on the equipment while chatting and eating snacks and staying out the way (as I often see round here), I would think they should be let be.

A 6 or 9 year old being hit by a football is just not something to get to worried about really is it?

Have you ever been hit in the face by a football, @Mouthfulofquiz? I have, it gave me a nosebleed. They can travel at quite a speed - I also know of someone who lost teeth to one. So yes, given the OP has said the ball was travelling at her kids’ head height I’d be worried about them being hit

Should we just stop playing ball games altogether then? Because of that risk. Honestly, what a lot of hysteria over nothing.

No, they should just play on the field like they are supposed to

what difference does it honestly make. A tiny increase in an already tiny risk. Do you want kids do stop playing football in the playground at school as well. the bell could fly over from the open grassy area next to the playground - perhaps we should ban it there as well.

when I opened this thread I expected it to be about kids doing drugs, or being violent or abusive, not - horror of horrors - playing football next to a football playing area instead of in it.

And tbh if someone threw something of mine in the bin in a ridiculous act of petulance, I’d bloody well challenge them too.

They shouldn’t be playing with a ball in the play park where little kids were. The field next to the park is fine for that so OP was not in the wrong.

Have you ever been hit by a football?!

I wouldn't have put the ball in the bin. That will make you look like a loon on TikTok! 😅
I'd have asked them in a really friendly way to move as though they were doing me a favour and if they were still being arsey I would have left them be. It's not worth the hassle otherwise.

@35965a yep, many times - I’ve got boys and I am involved in youth football. I was hit once by a professional before a game and that was quite something!
most kids messing about it a park aren’t hitting it that hard. And if they can’t pass it to each other without hitting small kids then they aren’t that good!
In essence I think the OP did the right thing challenging them, and I can remember panicking about this kind of thing when I had toddlers but by the time they are 6 and 9, are they not a bit more robust by then?

A

@KiteSirfer it will have had an age sign, all parks are legally required to display the age range for the park. I’ve also never come across a park (I’m a ROSPA qualified play equipment inspector) that doesn’t say ‘no ball games’ because it clearly isn’t safe!

Come off it, you did not throw the ball in the bin to “prevent an injury”. You did it to prove a point, as you yourself said they easily retrieved it.

I don’t know who’s being unreasonable. You said you initially asked them in a friendly way, but maybe you didn’t.

I think there would have been a big difference to just approaching them and having a conversation then shouting over even if it was friendly.

This x 1000

@TheReverendBeeb are you actually saying that anyone who thinks the OP was OTT is an ignorant thug who’s raised ignorant thugs? I think you are. Which is really just ridiculous.

I’ve raised two lovely adults well past their teen years. Tbh they’ve never given me a moment’s trouble or been in any trouble at all. And it is because I have raised two great, hardworking and respectful kids into really amazing adults that I know that some lads playing football in a playground is really not worth getting into a sweat about. It certainly isn’t one of the many things I lay awake worrying about when they were teens! So you can keep your judge bollocks to yourself thanks!