X on text from random men - happened again

[Flyinggeesei234]

I’ve got a new gardener - booked for fortnightly visits. Has been a few times, seems very good. Yesterday he messaged me about the garden (had to miss some tasks as timed out but wanted to assure me would do next time etc - so text purely about the garden). But he put a x (kiss sign, right?) at the end.

I feel this is too familiar/potential interest in getting into a text chat thing. I know he would not do this on a text to a man. That’s the crux of it. I don’t like it. It’s happened before whereby someone has been to do some work (e.g. joinery job) then a message has a ‘x’ on it. It’s the assumption I’m single (just because no man around when jobs are done).

My AIBU? Am I overreacting? I just want to ask him to not do the garden again. But it’s only a ‘x’! I’m sick of men doing this and it’s just one more. Why text in a different/familiar way just because I’m female? Hate it.

I'm not sure. If he habitually puts x on the end of his texts to his friends, it might have been an accident. I know some people who just automatically do it at the end of every text whoever the recipient!

This alone isn't a reason to jump to conclusions imo.

Lots of people put an x and this includes men. Ignore it and don’t put one back.

You are taking massive leap there. It's usually a habit. I use x with some people who do, not with others and ended up "x" my boss few times....

I agree with you. I don't know if you are single or not from what you say. I hired someone to do work some time ago, and he knew I was a lone parent from various bits of chat. He started doing this and it made me uncomfortable. I hate that I can't be friendly in that context without it being potentially misconstrued. I never put X's on texts to men unless they're my friends or ex partner.

I'd just reply without one and ignore it. Some people (men and women) do it automatically. My friend once did it to her very formal boss without thinking on an important text and was mortified.

Wouldn't bother me. For some people it is just habit.

I would be surprised if men do it automatically with other men.

This. I’d just reply without an x and hope he stops. Wouldn’t be enough to put me off hiring someone.

@Flyinggeesei234
Trust your gut, he's a creep.

Precisely!

I am a gardener and I have female clients give me an x at the end, I don’t overthink this.
people are so used to putting their stupid x, I think it’s just habit.

I agree it’s a habit and I wouldn’t read too much into it. Some people do it to be polite and friendly.

My male boss does it with the whole team. Sheer habit I think, I don't think anything of it.

I do this with all my customers once we’ve established an amicable working relationship.

One of my customers regularly calls me “love”
I don’t want to shag any of them.

Sounds like you rarely see the guy when he gardens for you once a fortnight.

Try to chill out x

Women often do it so it can be unthinking. Men - no. Men do not put x at the end of messages to other men they work with. Ever.

One definition:

'The custom of having an 'x' at the end of a message started as a way to symbolise a kiss. It was used between lovers. However, these days it is more often used as a way of implying you are being friendly, not formal. This is especially important now that so much communication is written, rather than spoken.'

Female team?

Prob an accident I am a nanny and the amount of times I’ve accidentally sent kisses to male boss 😂 and then said sorry force of habit.

God you’re being ridiculous

No men and women.

They definitely do. BIL is a builder and puts x’ son every message, to DH (not his brother) colleagues, everyone

Wow how do you cope with life looking for offence everywhere? It must be exhausting.

Just reply without an x.

Our trades put Dave or D on their txts. One school dad put x twice when txting about party before even see me, he was friendly later but not too much so it might be just a habit.
I’m so used to it that if someone is NOT putting x I start overthinking.

I would give him a benefit of doubt and see how he’s in general.

You are well over reacting.. I just put an x on pretty much every text because it's a bad habit as with most people

Ive done it before to a senior male work colleague! Just because im so used to ending texts like that. Without an emoji or a x it just seems so blunt. But anyway, i could have died!! Just force of habit i think sometimes. I know some straight men text to other men with an x. Id just ignore and not put an emoji/x on any response