To ask if it's too risky to take my child abroad without written permission from ex

[Flo769]

Due to go abroad with DD in a few months and dreading asking ex to sign a consent letter as he can be extremely difficult at the best of times! Do many people actually get asked to show written permission at the airport? Would I be crazy to take her without a letter?

I know two people who have been asked recently. One was me travelling with what could plausibly have been my family group but which was not (well, 3 of the kids were but the other 1, not). They looked really hard at the letters but didn't verify/ call/ otherwise check the letters were genuine. The other case was two teens travelling alone, aged 14 and 17. Their documents were checked and the people named as legal guardians were called and spoken to directly. They nearly missed their flight. This was all within western Europe.
Personally I wouldn't travel without a letter now (my kids have different name to me). The kids father can protest and refuse but if so you can get a court order to sanction a trip abroad. It's for good reasons they check this stuff.

Some countries are mega strict as others have said. South Africa is one. Friends of mine were denied boarding despite the two parents travelling together with their kids, and them having the short birth cert. Not good enough, long one was needed.

OP if you're a few months away from the trip I think you should talk to your ex and then you'll know where you go from there, the idea of been turned away on the day is awful and I doubt you'll be able to relax.

Do any pp know if there a specific form that needs to be filled in or can it be hand written with trip details, dads contact details, signed and dated?

What if you don’t have contact with the parent? What if they are dead?

how is it that I could get stopped with the child I birthed travelling solo on a different name for a legit holiday but my ex and his new wife all travelling on the same name could leave the country under the guise of a holiday to take him out of the country for good?

it’s not a black and white issue at all because it’s evidently NOT routinely come across issue. We ALL know you need a passport to leave the country. The fact that we don’t all know about the need for a note from the other parent suggests the rules are not as strict as you are suggesting. Comparing this to breaking a driving law is like comparing apples and oranges !

This has been answered many times if you have no contact you need a court order

I’ve never been asked for it. My exh and I do a letter for each other usually - they have his surname rather than mine unfortunately but a pp is right that it’s nothing to do with surnames. It’s about PR and both parents agreeing to the holiday.

I do take their birth certs due to the different names. I have been asked for these once out of several trips.

do you have a lives with order? if you do - you can take the child(ren) out of the country for up to 28 days without permission.

I always traveled without written permission, inky got asked once (china). Told them he was dead and it’s still quite a sensitive subject and they said sorry and let us through.

so you could try that!

Inky?? Nope, only!!

Have taken my DC away numerous times, different surnames, never a letter of permission and we've never had an issue

Been to Spain twice this year with DS and not been asked for any permission.
Like you my ex (his dad) hasn’t seen him in over a year. The thought of asking him or even having to tell him what we are doing makes me feel sick. The system sucks. The only proper way to get round it is apply to take away his parental rights which they won’t do in Scotland except in extreme cases. So we are stuck!

13 years of taking son abroad never once got the ex hub to sign anything besides he's never been in child's life either all that time

My dh and I have travelled with my eldest dd who has her fathers surname prob twice a year for the last 10 years in Europe and America and I’ve been asked twice about her dad (both times in the USA) but they didn’t ask for any documentation. Also been taken aside once at Heathrow and asked if we were ok travelling with my then boyfriend (now dh).

My exh lives in Europe now (he’s British though) and takes our daughter over to where he lives multiple times a year and has never been asked for anything.

(I do have a notarised copy of his passport giving permission that I carry just in case though!)

I've been taking DD (with different surname on passport) to Lanzarote since she was 4. We've only ever been questioned coming back into the UK - literally in the form of passport control pointing at me and asking her "Who is this?" She replies "Mummy". I say that I have all necessary documents if they want to see. They say no need.
I always travel with her birth certificate, my birth certificate, my certified deed poll to show my own name change in relation etc.

I don't think you will. I went to Spain with my two kids (different surnames) recently and did not get asked any questions at all

Because the key is supposed to have the photocopy of the other parent attached to it. There are templates in the internet

I was asked in Spain once but my son was travelling with his Spanish passport. After that we always traveled with the British one and never got asked again

I regularly travel to Spain with my children who have a different surname. I am married to their father. I have never been asked for a letter.
I would carry evidence that you are their mother if your names are different. If they are the same then no one will bat an eyelid.

I'm so relieved my DS was born before the PR law changed, there is no way my ex would have given me a letter!

I've never been asked when travelling to Spain. I take their birth certificates with me too, to prove on their mum, as we have different surnames

What would happen if you didn’t know the father. Eg casual thing and found out you were pregnant when he was long gone. Who could give permission then ? Or would a birth certificate with no fathers name be sufficient?

my D’s was asked once who I was - he has Adhd and particularly when stressed comes out with some ridiculous answers so I held my breath whilst he did actually say Mum.

if you have a residency order you can usually take them out the country for 28 days .

I have no contact with ex .. I travel with Bc but never been asked

Not true.

as per my post earlier, travelling in a group the only mum that got pulled aside and asked for documentation that she had pr from the kids dad had the same name. They were not going to let her fly until she got hold of him and got verbal consent.

the were a few of us with different names who passed through with no issues.

names make no difference.

This is what gov.uk says.
https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

However, there are statutory defences to the offence of child abduction (Child Abduction Act 1984) namely:
If you have a child arrangement order and the period of travel is 28 days or less
If you have special guardianship and the period of travel is less than 3 months
If you do so in the belief that the other person has consented or would consent if they were aware
If you've taken all reasonable steps to communicate with them but been unable to
The other person has unreasonably refused to consent.

In reality, few stops are made within the EU region. Most stops are made when it is feared a child is being taken to live in a foreign country without one parent's consent (some nationalities are considered higher risk than others for this), for child trafficking, forced marriage or FGM. Good old fashioned stereotyping then kicks in. White, middle class, clearly British nationals on package holidays are rarely stopped.

Genuine holidays almost never result in prosecution, even without consent (unless there are other issues at play). However, travel plans can sometimes be disrupted so it's worth going prepared with documentation if you can.

I've travelled for years as a single parent. The only time I've ever been asked to produce my child arrangements order was leaving Dubai once. UK border control did once ask my children what they were travelling for (clearly to see if this applied but very conversationally) and were more than satisfied with my DC giving an answer about water parks in Spain.

@Resilience

Ha! Funny enough one of the places I got super grilled at was in Dubai and the other was Paris Eurostar coming back but DS was super young then ( under 5)

I’m not white and my son is mixed race but he has hair and colouring that means he can look like so many different nationalities 😅

In our recent trip to the Philippines so many people started talking in Tagalog to him as they thought he was a Filipino, in Dubai they were convinced he was not mine as he looked like he was from Saudi or a Qatari, Dominican Republic was the same thing, they thought he was Dominican and I was the nanny! ( bloody cheek)

😂 with the water parks answer from the kids

Then you would have full PR so you would have a document confirming that