To ask if it's too risky to take my child abroad without written permission from ex

[Flo769]

Due to go abroad with DD in a few months and dreading asking ex to sign a consent letter as he can be extremely difficult at the best of times! Do many people actually get asked to show written permission at the airport? Would I be crazy to take her without a letter?

A warning about what?? I’d have told him to do one!

I’ve just been to canaries. Single parent with 2 children all different surnames. Didn’t get queried and I didn’t take any permission or birth certificates. Was unaware this was necessary

On the flipside of this ex has never been questioned (same surnames) presumably they just assume his partner is Dds mum when they travel.

Nothing to do with ex or not, just travelling without the other parent. Minors are flagged yes. Not every customs officer will look at it the same I guess.

I've travelled to Spain many times as a lone parent and never been asked anything. My ex doesn't have PR though, isn't on the BC and my dc has my surname. I'm not sure if it would be any different if he does have PR. Like I said I've never been asked to show anything but do carry the BC just in case.

I’ve never been asked and one dd has always had a different surname to me.

Went to the US in Feb and wasn’t asked in either direction then either.

I actually think a man travelling alone with a child regardless of surname is more likely going to be stopped than a woman.

@LifeIsPainHighness contacting social and police. It didn't phase me at all I just said if you feel the need feel free there is no issue with her travelling with me if you want to waste time and resources then go for it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm in the same position, I don't even have contact details for my ex but if I did, he would be an arse.

My plan is take the birth certificates and some social services documentation that states he is to have no contact.

The only people I know who have been stopped is when they are coming back into the UK. If that happens, what will they actually do? The kids live with me 🤷‍♀️

I must have gone dozens of times abroad in the last decade with my DC. I have never been asked for a written permission. I do not know anyone who has. I never had one. I would not worry about it at all.

Out of curiosity - you have the same surname? I know friends who have different surnames to the DC has questions in the past but never had to show the paper. I am booked to go shortly again (without ppwk).

Canada is strict as pp mentioned. When you apply for the entry visa they issue instructions and on entry all paperwork on the instructions was checked, plus lots of questions asked. I was travelling with a very young baby. Never had any issues any where else.

I've travelled 4 or 5 times with my kids out of the country, always take their birth certificates and a letter from their dad (in the early days he'd make noises about refusing to sign, but was just being a dick, and always does it). I've never been asked for anything, BUT I'd never risk not taking it just in case!

I’d take the kids birth certificates and if asked tell them their dad is missing presumed dead (maybe say this out of earshot). Or indeed forge a letter, the chances are you won’t need it but if you do get asked, you’ve got something.

Put a phone number on it for your dad / brother / friend just in case

It largely depends on how old she is. When my DC was under 4 I was asked all the time traveling back to Canada (on our Canadian passports). They never ask anymore.

I've just come back from Turkey with my DD7, they didn't ask at all. I had her birth certificate but they didn't even ask to see that

About 30 mums and children got on a flight recently- we were going to a dance comp.

about 50:50 same names to different.

the mum who got stopped and asked for her letter of consent had the same name, was married to the kids dad. Fortunately sorted out with a phone call to evidence he had given permission.

I’ve not been stopped in 20 years. Different surname is not a flag as many cultures it’s the norm for mums and children to have different names, they manage to travel ok.

Unbelievable!

Why do I have a funny feeling they never do that to men travelling with kids?

I have a different surname to my kids, never been asked for dads permission (handy as he's dead so not in a position to provide). On return to the UK I am asked for their birth certificates to prove they are mine.

This year we travelled with DP so another different surname. No one cares.

You'll be fine OP

Questioned a few times when travelling by car from Germany to UK. However that's because DDs passport had yet to be changed to my married name.

I'd just sign the letter myself tbh, how are they going to know 🙄

Oh and dh has never been asked to sign a letter for his kids to go away with their mum and stepdad.

once they got married too both adults had a different name to the kids. As far as we are aware never got stopped.

Travelled with DD several times, different surnames, I've never been asked for a letter. DD has been questioned on her relationship to me and I always carry copy BC, Deed Poll for name change and decree absolute which I have shown when asked.

I took a copy of DS’s birth certificate. They didn’t say anything on the way there when we came back to the country the customs officer talked to him about his holiday when he mentioned that I was his mum they let us pass.

If you were prevented from boarding the flight would you be able to shrug your shoulders and say “ well it was worth a try “.

I’m a single parent and my kids have a different surname. I’ve often been asked for their relationship to me, or they’ve been asked who I am to them. I’ve occasionally been asked for a birth certificate to prove the relationship.

I used to ask their dad to sign a letter but I’ve never been asked for it so I’ve stopped asking. But, we’ve only travelled in Europe and I do know people who have been asked for the states. I think you’d be fine for Spain.

Its probably illegal but you could also just fake a signed letter……

I have had this as recently as 4 years ago when my son was 11 from Glasgow to London, however our trip last year was
the first time they didn’t give two hoots as he’s 15 now 😅

We have different surnames so most of the time I have been asked and I tell them the same thing “ if you can find the SOB then please also let me know” and I show them a copy of his full birth certificate

They usually say ok fine as I can’t exacting get permission from somebody who literally vanished 12 years ago and has done everything within his power to not be found.

if you can get permission from ex then do so.. less hassle in the long run if you do get stopped/questioned or if that is way too much ( and I fully understand this point) minimally a copy of the BC.