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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to take a child out of reception for birthday trip?

116 replies

SlippersNToast · 05/06/2023 14:14

Me and my DH are having big disagreements about this. Our daughter is in reception, currently 4 and turning 5 over summer. My partner would like to take her out to a theme park around her birthday during term time (for one day) to avoid the queues but I don’t feel comfortable with it. She has 100% attendance so far and is comfortably meeting her targets and so my partner feels she would get more benefit from a day out. I’m worried about setting a precedent and being frowned upon. Would it cause many problems to the school and/or teacher? And would it make any difference if we did this while she was still 4? I can’t work out if this is an obvious no no or as a one off treat if it would be fine! TIA

OP posts:
CeeJay81 · 05/06/2023 14:19

I would def go. My kids go on term time holidays practically every year. She has 100% attendance, which is incredible. Go for it and enjoy the themepark with less queues. 😁

vix3rd · 05/06/2023 14:19

Ach go for it ! It's something she'll remember forever - Where as school just becomes one big boring blur !

If she's not behind and is doing well I don't see the harm.

Rainbowshit · 05/06/2023 14:22

I would do it.

huil · 05/06/2023 14:23

I am with you OP, my DD is in reception and she has 100% attendance. We don't do term time holidays and would only be off school if seriously unwell. Others will say one day doesn't matter, but they pack a lot into the Reception curriculum and it's also fun and time spent with other dc. OTOH we have a disability in the family so never have to queue much at theme parks, so weekends aren't a problem.

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 05/06/2023 14:23

She’s a baby go make some memories.

Justcallmebebes · 05/06/2023 14:24

She's 4! Kindly, I think you're overthinking this. Taking a day off from kindergartens for a theme park on her birthday is fine and your DH is right, they'll be less crowds

AuntieJune · 05/06/2023 14:24

Kids aren't required to be in school before age 5 so there are no consequences of taking a 4 year old (fines etc)

However, call me an old stick in the mud but I think children should know school attendance is not optional. It's a school day, they go to school unless too sick. Teachers have a hard enough job without trying to fill in the gaps because kids have been off for xyz reason and missed lessons. If children miss school for birthdays, holidays, family weddings plus sickness it can be a nightmare for teachers to juggle. There's also zero chance that your child will keep schtum about where you went.

Plus you set a precedent, are you going to take her out of school on her birthday every year?

By the by, but are you sure she likes theme parks? My kids are 4 and 6 and hate anything but the very tamest rides, a theme park would be a waste of money!

Clymene · 05/06/2023 14:25

She's 4. Legally she doesn't even have to be in school. Go now while you've got the chance!

Stompythedinosaur · 05/06/2023 14:25

I wouldn't take my dc out of school for a random day out, no.

Since you aren't trying to do it on her actual birthday, why can't you pick a teacher training day if you are trying to avoid crowds?

CheesePls · 05/06/2023 14:25

Go! She’s so little

Starlightstarbright1 · 05/06/2023 14:27

Can I just point out depending on time of year . I did Lego land rather than sports day in reception.

We had quite long queues as there were lots of school trips

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/06/2023 14:29

I can’t remember if school becomes compulsory the term when they turn 5 or the term after. Someone will know.

Either way, I’d take them when they are reception age!

Thirty5 · 05/06/2023 14:32

School is compulsory from sept after 5th birthday so the school can frown but nothing more. I would do it! 100% attendance really isn’t the be all and end all

Carrusa · 05/06/2023 14:37

It shouldn't cause any problems with school or teacher. Assume she will let it slip to the teacher, btw. The only issue for me would be setting the precedent with her and telling her theme parks trump school.

You might be surprised how busy theme parks are on school days in June and July. We've done Thorpe Park on an INSET and it was full of finished GCSE and A Level students, plus school trips, and Legoland was full of families with toddlers and school age children, and more school trips. We have season tickets and we go on Sundays rather than weekdays now, even in term time.

greenplantspinkflowers · 05/06/2023 14:38

10000% GO!!

Who cares about 100% attendance? She only came out your womb a few years ago lol.

Have fun, avoid the queues and make memories!

Oysterbabe · 05/06/2023 14:40

Take her on one of the strike days, there's bound to be more in July.

Grumpigal · 05/06/2023 14:46

I’m taking reception age DC away in term time (they will still be 4 at this point).

Frankly, if the teachers can strike (and I do support them, not bashing) and see no issue in children being out of school for those strikes then I can take my FOUR year old out of school for a holiday which will provide just as many learning opportunities (if not more) than the 5 days at school.

DC understands school is important and is happy and settled and isn’t given free rein to stay home whenever they wish, but a family holiday (the first they’ve ever had) is a massive exception and has been explained as such.

I probably wouldn’t take them out just for a theme park, I’d happily go on a weekend or holidays but I don’t judge you for doing so

sassyduck · 05/06/2023 14:48

Take her and have a lovely day, hopefully with less queues!

maidmarianne · 05/06/2023 14:48

Compulsory school age is the term after they turn 5 so you can't be fined.
I'd say go. Missing one day won't do any harm- unless it's a school that has a ridiculous attendance policy and she's going to miss out on some big treat at the end of the year

Smartiepants79 · 05/06/2023 14:51

Well, school will judge.
But, you’re right that she’s not going to miss much and it’s not the end of the world.
Just don’t lie to school, your DD will dob you in!

AmyandPhilipfan · 05/06/2023 14:53

I don't know if this is still the case but one July my then 7 year old got a 100% attendance award despite being off ill for a few days in June. I was told attendance is only counted up to 31st May, so it doesn't affect things if they are off after that.

Susuwatariandkodama · 05/06/2023 15:14

She is only 4, I’d definitely do it!
She isn’t even in compulsory education yet so make the most of it and have a fun day together!

Hbh17 · 05/06/2023 15:19

Of course, it's unreasonable - she's supposed to be in school. There are lots of other days to go on trips, and it shocks me how many parents seem to think that school is optional.

martha4clark · 05/06/2023 15:21

She's 4!!! Her education is not going to be impacted in any way...go to the theme park.

DarkForces · 05/06/2023 15:22

Do it! I used to really care about attendance but since covid when they said months out don't matter I've completely changed. We did it for dd's 10th. Had a great day out!

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