Is it unreasonable to take a child out of reception for birthday trip?

[SlippersNToast]

Me and my DH are having big disagreements about this. Our daughter is in reception, currently 4 and turning 5 over summer. My partner would like to take her out to a theme park around her birthday during term time (for one day) to avoid the queues but I don’t feel comfortable with it. She has 100% attendance so far and is comfortably meeting her targets and so my partner feels she would get more benefit from a day out. I’m worried about setting a precedent and being frowned upon. Would it cause many problems to the school and/or teacher? And would it make any difference if we did this while she was still 4? I can’t work out if this is an obvious no no or as a one off treat if it would be fine! TIA

Do it! My DD starts reception this September and I will still be taking her out for the odd day trip when she’s in full time school. I want to take her to Peppa Pig Land but won’t have chance now before the summer holidays kick in. So I will take her when all schools are back and it’s not as busy.

Go!

So I used to think the same as you and especially with covid closures and other sickness I wanted my daughter to be in school. Then I realised half the school took their kids out for odd days attached to the holidays. We’ve now done that for holidays next year. Missing a day saved over £1k for the holiday we booked for example. But, I struggle a bit with a day out for a birthday and can’t quite figure out why. Possibly because I don’t think I’d do it for older ones and random days might miss something useful whereas last Friday of a term is going to make no difference at all.

Just to warn you, we went to a theme park term time last June, only day we could go turned out to be a super warm day. It was heaving, tickets sold out, children or all ages, queues as bad as school holidays plus quite a few school trip groups as well! Was not quiet.. but perhaps less risky than going on a weekend/ school holiday !

This

I did it (summer baby) just one Friday as I have a pre schooler so could both be adult and pre schooler price.

I got a tut tut letter from school but my dc didn't fail her reception macaroni art exam so all good :)

I am a teacher and I would do it. There is more to life than school and spending quality family time together is a valuable thing to do. I take my kids out once a year to go to Centre Parcs and let them have an extra Friday/Monday off.

Absolutely fine. They won't even fine you because they know its fine.

As a reception class TA, I say do it. I can count on one hand the times we've had every child in class on the same day this year, someone's always off for something. Enjoy yourself! Don't lie to the school though, your daughter WILL tell them about it!

I used to think is never be the parent who took their kids out of school for holidays etc, but having started them.in primary and seen how many do, and also how relaxed the primary curriculum is and how many days they have disrupted by things no more educational than a family day out / holiday, I have taken them out on odd days here and there, either for a weekend away, going or coming back from holiday just before or after the school holidays or theme park trip.

I don't think I've ever taken them out more than 2 days in a year though for things like that, none some years, and am avoiding it more carefully now daughter is in secondary school, as I do think she is more likely to struggle to catch up with 5 lessons a day. I'd also avoid it if they'd had a lot of time off sick that year. I don't care about 100% attendance awards though.

I'm not a fan of whole weeks off for holidays in term time as that seems a lot to miss,
Much harder to catch up on etc, and also leaves me struggling to fill /cover school holidays!

I probably wouldn't do it on her actual birthday though as I think that could set a bit of a precedence. But given to her as a birthday present and told this was the only day you could go so as a one off you have to miss school, I don't think will give her the wrong idea particularly. She's almost certainly seen classmates miss time for holidays by now. Loads do it in reception and of course the kids will talk about it when they get back!

I wouldn't lie about it - kids will tell and until term after she is 5 they can't really do anything anyway. Even then my area only fines once you get to 5 unauthorised days in a year, not even that since covid I don't think.

In my school there is a leave of absence form to fill in for planned absences and ive always done it and had a slips back saying unable to authorise, but no one has stopped us, said anything else, told us off etc! The one day I said something sheepish to the head as I handed it in the office, she laughed and said 'at least you are telling us. It's amazing how many dont or lie but we always know! It makes us laugh how people think their kids don't talk!'

I wouldn’t worry about missing a day of school at age 4. I chose not to send my kids to school at all at that age (though I’m in Scotland so it’s a bit different here). It won’t harm her education.

I wouldn’t take a 4 year old to a theme park though. Even on a school day it will be busy. You’ll spend the majority of the day walking and queuing. I know when my kids were that age they would have tired of it pretty quickly. I’d wait until she’s older for a trip like that.

I would have been on your side in the past but have come round to your other halves side as I age. Theme parks (for me) are an expensive slightly painful day, made much better by going on a day with smaller queues.

She may well be more gutted to miss out on a 109% attendance award.

It's only 1 day. Go!

I'd do it!

Just don't tell her to lie or keep it a secret!

It's not school, it's nursery and she's 4. Not 14. School at that age isn't mandatory

Realistically, you're not going to be joining queues for big rides with a four year old are you?! The holidays are 13 weeks out of each year. Any of those days are available for theme parks. School days are school days. Making decisions to miss school based on whether you'll be fined always makes me raise an eyebrow, as does the idea that school is "boring" for a 4 year old.

We went to Drayton Manor on a school day with DD when she turned 4, the queues for the Thomas land rides were the longest I. the park! Small kids rides are likely to be busier than the big ones

On what knowledge / experience is the far less busy based on? Are his expectations realistic?

I wouldn't take her out of school but it was drummed into me that missing school for any other reason than genuine illness was totally unacceptable and I cannot get past that.

I wouldn’t.
Of course one day missed won’t ruin her educational career for life but it sets a bad precedent. Once you’ve done it once you’ll do it again, and it soon becomes normalised for you and her.

if it’s any time between now and the summer holidays then chances are it will be heaving anyway with school trips, post exam children etc.

Absolutely. A child turning 5 in the summer term hasn't even reached compulsory school age so there's nothing they can do.
I would do it soon though if it's a big theme park like Legoland / Alton Towers. Scottish schools and European schools start summer holidays between mid and late June and English independent schools are normally done by early July, so these places will get busy midweek quite soon.
I wouldn't take her out on her actual birthday because it's lovely to be made a fuss of in school and check the school calendar to make sure she's not missing sports day / school trip day or something.

Mine are older now but I’d do it without a second thought.

I would the deciding factor for me is she’s 4

Do it, one day will make no difference. Schools shut down for a year over covid and that was fine so a single day is nothing in the grand scheme of things.