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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it unreasonable to take a child out of reception for birthday trip?

116 replies

SlippersNToast · 05/06/2023 14:14

Me and my DH are having big disagreements about this. Our daughter is in reception, currently 4 and turning 5 over summer. My partner would like to take her out to a theme park around her birthday during term time (for one day) to avoid the queues but I don’t feel comfortable with it. She has 100% attendance so far and is comfortably meeting her targets and so my partner feels she would get more benefit from a day out. I’m worried about setting a precedent and being frowned upon. Would it cause many problems to the school and/or teacher? And would it make any difference if we did this while she was still 4? I can’t work out if this is an obvious no no or as a one off treat if it would be fine! TIA

OP posts:

Samlewis96 · 06/06/2023 08:30

Hbh17 · 05/06/2023 15:19

Of course, it's unreasonable - she's supposed to be in school. There are lots of other days to go on trips, and it shocks me how many parents seem to think that school is optional.

It is actually optional at 4

BumpyaDaisyevna · 06/06/2023 08:31

She is still below obligatory school age so of course you can 👍

EarlofShrewsbury · 06/06/2023 08:33

If her birthday is between now and the school holidays it might actually have less queues at the weekends, as its school trip season.

Ladybug14 · 06/06/2023 08:33

🤣🤣🤣 she's 4.

Make memories. Have fun. Enjoy. I did this sort of thing with my daughter in YR and Y1. Walks in the woods. Day trips. Fun times away from school

100% attendance record is not going to help her in any way in early years

Did my daughter being taken out of school affect her future career? I promise you it did not

Growingouttogether · 06/06/2023 08:36

I think this is a very British point of view that you can’t ever miss a day of school. Currently on a 2 week holiday with my reception age child (who is in her second year of schooling in France) when I told the teacher we would be away I also said that I would do some reading/numbers etc with her. The response was don’t bother, she will catch up quick when she’s back, enjoy your family holiday!

cyncope · 06/06/2023 08:50

Of course it's fine, she's 4!

The teacher won't care. They will be submitting all their final data on your child this month anyway so teaching is basically done.

ChristmasCwtch · 06/06/2023 08:55

Definitely go!! When I took my DC out of school to go on hols I completed a form and it came back “approved, as DC isn’t legally required to attend school” until term after they’re 5.

JulieHoney · 06/06/2023 09:00

Do it!

Her education isn’t going to be negatively impacted by one day of reception. There’s plenty to learn outside a classroom

Libra24 · 06/06/2023 15:53

Your child isn't compulsory school age. It's totally optional at this point

Why not just have the conversation to say we can do It this once but this is a boundary for me once they are compulsory school age?

He's not sneaking her out without you knowing so really it's not a dangerous precendent.
Nothing dangerous about it. He's got a view that she'll enjoy something as a treat and he's not wrong.
School attendance is fine in line with your values but it's not an indication of anything else. Children who don't have 100% thrive. Some will never hit it due to health or home circumstances. You're being a bit precious over 6 WHOLE HOURS.

Biscoffpancake · 06/06/2023 15:56

i would definitely take her!
we have merlin passes and I take my youngest all the time to Legoland/chessington while the oldest is in school. They are 100% less busy than school times! Most of the time the queues are 5-10 mins max, maybe 20-30 mins for the bigger stuff which at 4 she most likely won’t be tall enough for anyway, and given on the busier days these are 60-80 min queues it’s still much better!!
also for those saying go on an inset day, Monday just gone Lego land was sold out and was worse than in the actual half term as everyone has the same idea!

Pusillanimouswitch · 06/06/2023 15:59

Just take her out of school. I don’t think it sets a precedent or a message or anything - I’ve taken mine out to go on holiday, they still understand school is not an option every other day! My rule is I lie, they don’t - I tell the school they are ill, as I feel it is less hassle for teachers, but if they are asked directly, they are to tell the truth, and I deal with any fallout. I’m also supportive of strikes, but it does underscore that the world doesn’t end if you miss a day of school.

Phos · 06/06/2023 16:00

I knew most MNers would be for this but I wouldn’t. It’s just poor form. I’m not even that against term time holidays but you can’t just randomly go on a day out because you don’t fancy queuing. It’s not like it’s even going to be on her birthday by the sounds of it, that’s just an excuse.

Createausername1970 · 06/06/2023 16:14

At this age I would (and did). Probably wouldn't make it a regular thing, or that it became an expectation that every birthday was a day off.

I used also used to take my DS out on class photo day when he was in infants. He was adopted with CP issues, and as I had no control over where the photos ended up, it wasn't happening. The school were fine about it. As long as you don't do it regularly, and there is reason (special event) there usually isn't a problem. And generally you have to miss a complete week (or 10 sessions in a row I think) before you get fined.

Abouttimemum · 06/06/2023 16:17

Do it. She’s 4, she won’t miss anything at school. A theme park with no queues is a great idea, we’ll be doing this with our son.

Sussexcricket · 06/06/2023 16:19

I'm taking my y2 daughter out of school next week to go to Legoland for 3 days
Cheaper and will be less packed .
Can't afford school holiday breaks

Seasonofthewitch83 · 06/06/2023 16:22

She isn't even compulsory school age, I absolutely would let her have a day off!

NewNovember · 06/06/2023 16:37

Does you dh not realise your child is not CSA and you can take her out whenever you want it's interilly your choice.

gogohmm · 06/06/2023 16:46

I wouldn't, the theme parks are packed with school trips from June onwards - there's only one thing worse than packed theme parks in summer holidays, and that's parked with barely supervised secondary school kids

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2023 16:48

CeeJay81 · 05/06/2023 14:19

I would def go. My kids go on term time holidays practically every year. She has 100% attendance, which is incredible. Go for it and enjoy the themepark with less queues. 😁

How does she have 100% attendance of you go on term time holidays? Are you saying school are fixing the attendance charts to look better for OFSTED?

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2023 16:48

Hbh17 · 05/06/2023 15:19

Of course, it's unreasonable - she's supposed to be in school. There are lots of other days to go on trips, and it shocks me how many parents seem to think that school is optional.

She's 4, it is.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2023 16:49

Oysterbabe · 05/06/2023 14:40

Take her on one of the strike days, there's bound to be more in July.

Not every child has a striking teacher. My 3 haven't had a single strike day out so far.

Baba197 · 06/06/2023 18:27

Take her! She’s only 4, and legally doesn’t have to even be at school but I would also say it depends when bday is? Summer is busy generally at the big theme parks with school trips, inset days etc so you may not save yourself time queuing. I would also be honest with the teacher, especially if it’s midweek as she will drop you in it and tell them all the next day!

ApplesandOrangesandPears · 06/06/2023 19:32

I'd take her - she's 4 so not compulsory school age, and frankly one day is not going to hurt her. I will be taking my children out the week before summer holidays - we categorically cannot afford the prices for the 6 weeks, the school have done precisely nothing to help support her so far despite her very obviously struggling, her younger sister has major sensory issues (as do I) and we do not cope with busy places at all and we still deserve a holiday. All they do in the last week is watch dvds anyway so I'm not guilty over that. Yes school is important, but so is family time something which a hell of a lot of people struggle to find.

Rycbar · 06/06/2023 19:32

If you do.. dont lie about why she’s off. We always find out - 5 year olds can’t keep secrets 😂

shortandpaleandoldandugly · 06/06/2023 19:52

Do it. She’s 4, she won’t miss anything at school. A theme park with no queues is a great idea, we’ll be doing this with our son

When you say "she won't miss anything", what do you think school is? Just childcare for when you're not on holiday? Do you imagine the kids just sit around doing nothing?

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