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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it unreasonable to take a child out of reception for birthday trip?

116 replies

SlippersNToast · 05/06/2023 14:14

Me and my DH are having big disagreements about this. Our daughter is in reception, currently 4 and turning 5 over summer. My partner would like to take her out to a theme park around her birthday during term time (for one day) to avoid the queues but I don’t feel comfortable with it. She has 100% attendance so far and is comfortably meeting her targets and so my partner feels she would get more benefit from a day out. I’m worried about setting a precedent and being frowned upon. Would it cause many problems to the school and/or teacher? And would it make any difference if we did this while she was still 4? I can’t work out if this is an obvious no no or as a one off treat if it would be fine! TIA

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 05/06/2023 15:23

No, go for it. She’s non-compulsory anyway, but even if she wasn’t, I wish I’d done it more with my DC when they were these
ages.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 05/06/2023 15:24

Birthdays at school are so lovely when they're little. The class, the teacher making a fuss. Them feeling they're the centre of attention for a day.
I was always so sad because my birthday isn't in term time.
So on that basis, no I wouldn't.

Butterflybutterflies · 05/06/2023 15:26

I would take her. Your DD will have a much better day at a theme park on a school day than when it’s really busy. It’s only one day!

UsingChangeofName · 05/06/2023 15:28

I wouldn't.
Use a training day if you want a quieter day - or check when local half terms or end of term dates are, as can often be different.
It is nice to be in school on your birthday when you are little - you are usually fussed over in some way.
It just sends a bad message that, rather than schools being a nice, happy place to be, it is something you need to be removed from for a special day.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 05/06/2023 15:30

I’m on the fence with this one. We used to take ours out of primary for a holiday every year but they never missed random days or their birthdays. They used to quite like being in school on their birthdays tbh.

We went to theme parks on inset days and that worked well. Do you have any between now and the end of term, or strike days?

whycantmenfindstuff · 05/06/2023 15:31

Do it

lemonaddde · 05/06/2023 15:33

I'd take a day off in reception.

Don't tell her it's a school day, just surprise her and don't mention missing school so she doesn't get a taste for random days off!

NeedToThinkOfOne · 05/06/2023 15:34

greenplantspinkflowers · 05/06/2023 14:38

10000% GO!!

Who cares about 100% attendance? She only came out your womb a few years ago lol.

Have fun, avoid the queues and make memories!

Ha, this. I’m long past DCs in reception and school years have absolutely flown by. I can 100% say that 100% attendance means absolutely nothing at this age, has no impact on any of the years further up. You’re talking about one day out of school, your dc could have more than that for sickness at some point. Go for it and make a memory to look back on, especially since your dc isn’t even at compulsory school age!

LadyJ2023 · 05/06/2023 15:36

One day for a birthday cmon make memories

wildfirewonder · 05/06/2023 15:40

I agree it is fine to miss the day. 100% attendance is not something to worry about.

However will she remember it forever, how many memories do people hold from age 4/5? My memories only become clear after about age 7.

But you'll remember it forever, I say do it.

drpet49 · 05/06/2023 15:43

For 1 day I would

RonObvious · 05/06/2023 15:43

Our school encouraged days away! Said that it was important for children to spend time with their extended family, or take extra days if they were over tired and struggling. And avoiding the queues at the theme sounds like enough of a justification to me - if we ever take our two to Legoland, we would definitely do it in term time.

MariaVT65 · 05/06/2023 15:47

Echo PPs that it’s not a legal requirement for kids to be in school in reception.

I would definitely take her out. I’d also take my kids out at any school age, apart from during important exam times etc.

A lot of stuff you learn at school is utter useless crap anyway.

Whichwhatnow · 05/06/2023 15:49

Oh come on OP. She's 4. Plenty of kids in Europe don't even start school until 6 or 7. I didn't start until I was 7 and I'm doing very well career-wise. Honestly what do you think she's going to miss? A playdough session??

FlibbedyFlobbedyFloo · 05/06/2023 15:52

She's in reception, not doing her A-levels. Relax!

1stTimeMama · 05/06/2023 15:55

I wouldn't even have to think about it, take her to have a fun day out! One day out of school is not ever going to effect her education.

JenniferBarkley · 05/06/2023 16:10

The only reason I wouldn't is if she would enjoy being in school with her friends on her birthday -if the teacher would make a fuss etc.

towriteyoumustlive · 05/06/2023 16:12

She doesn't need to be in school until age 5 so you are perfectly within your rights to do it.

Hellzbellz25 · 05/06/2023 16:14

My dd is 11 and in year 6 about to finish primary school and I actually said to my mum the other day how silly I was worrying about the odd day that I've let her have off school!! Take her to the theme park she will love it, makes no difference in the grand scheme of things, people take their kids out for full weeks for holidays

WimbyAce · 05/06/2023 16:20

She is 4, fill your boots!

survivalmodemum · 05/06/2023 16:21

Definitely go! One day out for her birthday isn’t going to set the precedent that she can have time off whenever she feels like it.

I take my kids out of school for the odd thing here and there (luckily no fines where I am in Scotland) and they are not falling behind or expecting to have time off whenever they like.

School is important but so is special family time 😊

ChimChimeny · 05/06/2023 16:24

Don't go expecting it to be dead though, we went to a few before DD started school.and they were still rammed! Mix.of pre-schoolers and school trips

I'd rather go on a random week day in September

QforCucumber · 05/06/2023 16:27

honestly - no one, not even the school cares. 5 hours absence will not make a difference to her education. Just take her.

Ds is 7, he started reception in Sept 2020 (height of covid) in that time he's also been out of school for Legoland, Center Parcs, and a foreign holiday - it hasn't set a standard that school is optional Hmm he is more than aware that when we are at home school for him and work for me and DH are required.

CherryLingo · 05/06/2023 16:33

Definitely go! And have fun 🤩

SparkyBlue · 05/06/2023 16:48

You are definitely overthinking it. Take her out and enjoy the day