White woman In a headscarf, would you stare?

[Tooshyshyhushhushidoi]

And conservative/ ‘modest’ clothing. Would you stare? Would you look twice?

context to follow :)

No, but I live in Sheffield, which is very multicultural. A lot of different religions and backgrounds.
Where as my sister and her kids probably would, as the live in a very white area, so aren't use to all the different people. We were in York, in the school holidays, there was a pride march, they couldn't get over it, my son thought it was great and wanted to join in. His cousin think anything pride related is weird.

Big theological debate here on whether it is obligatory or not plus for me it’s about being recognised as a Muslim lady and actually owning it and hopefully growing in confidence

One thing I forgot to say, is do people stare at Nun's? Where I grew up we went to give the nuns some chickens. (farmers daughter) all the nuns that I saw where white, the had there habits on, so there heads where covered, I don't see a difference.

No - what’s to stare at ?

@Lwrenagain I concur, and I agree, you sound lovely, and OP, so do you. You owe no explanations to anyone. ❤️

Not at all. And just ignore those that do. You presumably don’t know the starers, so why would you care what they think? There’s always someone out there looking to be offended……

I've been assuming that by headscarf, you mean hijab, so tied in the traditionally Islamic way. People might not stare if you wore it in a different style.

I'm not suggesting you ought to...you should wear whatever you want and observe your faith however you want. Just a thought, if the staring gets you down but it's important to you to cover your hair and ears.

I wear a headscarf and a long flowy dress and the reaction is dependant to which part of the country I’m in. However in all my years of wearing one, I’ve never been offended with proper looking or even staring at me. This is of course my personal view but I’m of the opinion that humans are curious creatures and well, we look! Especially when it’s something we haven’t seen before. I had a colleague who asked if I slept in my headscarf and I answered “yes Kelly love, I shower in it too”
“oh must takes ages drying off!” Loved that girl and no offence taken as she genuinely didn’t know! These days I think most people are a lot more aware what with social media and all that. Anyway that was my two pennies worth.

No.
a. Most religions have adherents of all ethnicities
b. It may not be for religious reasons in any case.
c. Not my business

I lived in the Middle East so hijabs were the norm, I wouldn’t stare but might look a few times if I thought your hijab or make up was particularly lovely! Got a few white women wearing headscarves where I live now and it’s very accepted. Back in the 40s and 50s most women wore them daily in the UK, but I’d equally be tempted to look twice at someone pulling off a Sofia Loren look in the playground too!

Well there isn’t particularly a big current debate OP, there are just different views and always have been. However it would be unusual for an educated Muslim in the UK to view it as compulsory - they might chose it, but they would normally see it as a choice.

Of course it can be an expression of faith and I understand you want to do it. But whatever your faith, it’s not a good idea to let the trappings get in the way of the core. If it’s causing you to be anxious and ruminate that’s not a good or sensible place to put your energy.

People definitely do stare at nuns! Especially if they are young..

Are you Muslim?

there is a big debate within the Muslim community on if the hijab is obligatory, most scholars say yes. But there are some more contemporary scholars who challenge this (taj hargy being one, might’ve got his last name wrong). There is also a debate as to what constitutes hijab. So yes there is a debate.

I know many many educated Muslim women who believe it is what God commands and what he wants, there are many female scholars who’d argue this.

I've got my nan's headscarf as a keepsake. All the women in my Irish Catholic family wore headscarves. Now that I think about I'm not sure when it stopped. The 80s maybe. Before that at Mass women often wore a mantilla. Black lacey thing as I remember it. But that was less common.

Lots of working class women in manual jobs wore a scarf for convenience too.

I’d assume they were Bosnian or similar.

In England? I’d think she was a nun so no

I'm a white woman, not religious at all, well, I suppose culturally Christian, celebrate Christmas etc. I wear a hijab in Iran (no choice, it's the law) and get stared at loads, even pointed at sometimes. I don't care. Not sure how relevant this is for you though. Also, I don't consider it rude of the people staring at me. In lots of cultures its perfectly acceptable to have a really good look at someone and not considered rude in the slightest.

You probably feel like I do. I live in a Muslim country and I look like I could be one of them (though I’m not). But I don’t wear the headscarf. It’s perfectly legal to not cover but most women do here. I get stared at a LOT. The attention I get if very different to that which my other expat friends (white) get. They get lewd comments and gestures. I get looks of disgust, and sometimes shopkeepers have refused to serve me or taxi drivers have driven past and ignored me.

Conservative for whom? Conservative here is a business suit or a teadress. What's "modest"? Are our normal clothes immodest, perhaps making women look indecent, like sluts and asking for it?
Do you mean Islamic clothing? Then call it what it is.

Particularly for men in certain cultures

Can I summarise? Your husband doesn't like you wearing a hijab, Muslim men give you unwanted attention on the street, you hate people overtly staring at you but this happens often as you live in an area with few ethnic minorities.
You have to 'brave' Tesco's because of your religious clothing choices and you want Mumsnet to tell you if you're being paranoid or not.
It's all so attention seeking and sounds very immature for a 30 year old woman. Either toughen up and wear your hijab with pride or stop wearing it.

No. I used to wear hijab to go to work with waist-length blonde hair and no one cared. It sounds like you're feeling self-conscious about it. I went to the local Mosque recently and was made to feel very welcome.

Not Islamic clothing as an orthodox Jewish lady wouldn’t wear Islamic clothing, and neither would a more a more conservative Christian lady

i find it a weird question. I’m more likely to stare at someone with bright pink hair or whatever, as I always marvel at their confidence.

^ Islamic clothing also denotes the abaya or jilbab where this might not be the case