Will children ever be invited to weddings again

[georgianwindow]

We have been invited to quite a few weddings in the last 12 months - seven of them. All of them have been child free. The postman has just been, with another invitation arriving, also adding to the child free wedding invitation pile.
We have a 5 year old and are expecting a baby in 2 months time. Two of the recent invitations have said that we can bring the little one but not the eldest. The ones that do not welcome the baby have been declined because we can not leave such a young baby.
We don't have childcare options readily available to us and have to drive a 2 hour round trip for this.

I have done a couple of the weddings on my own, and DH has as well (and the other of us has stayed at home) but this isn't particularly enjoyable for the one of us that goes to the wedding.

I understand that everyone can make their own decision regarding their weddings but it really it a shame missing out on events because of this, especially when in most circumstances, the bride & groom have children themselves so know how tricky childcare can be. It is the decision of the bride and groom for their wedding day, it does just mean that some guests will decline attending, or attend but possibly not stay for the reception.

Light hearted thread but will children ever be invited to weddings again! We had them at ours and many of them brightened up the day, making people laugh or getting involved, there were no issues regarding behaviour of children and parents were sensible with keeping them occupied during the ceremony. I can't remember the last time I received a wedding invitation that didn't cause some level of stress.

It’s a tricky one. We didn’t have any children of our own yet when we got married (2022) but had loads of relatives kids there. They cost next to nothing and to me they made it more special. Behaved so well (there was a climbing frame, grass and activity bags though to be fair) and joined in our first dance which was lovely as it took the cringe out of it!!! We’re a couple who love kids though and I appreciate not everyone is like that. To me though a wedding is a big family and friend’s celebration and that includes children (though we did also say that parents shouldn’t be obliged to bring the little ones if they fancied the night off!). Like in a traditional countryside wedding 200 years ago the whole village would come together to celebrate kinda vibe. My mum got married last year as well though and had no kids. Purely because she gets super anxious when everyone gets drunk and there are toddlers running around. She feels responsible for them all and can’t enjoy herself and to be fair I could entirely see her point too! She had under 1’s there though. Ridiculous to expect people to leave babies that young at home.

I love a child free wedding. I didn't have one, but I was quite young and first amongst my siblings and cousins off the perch, so the children we did have I could count on one hand. Most couples get married later in life now, so most friends or family would have children. Why would they want to pay upwards of £60pp for lots little people who don't really want to be there, bumping actual friends or extended family off the list. If I had a wedding again it would be immediate family's and very close friend's children invited only. If too many kids are there it changes the vibe. I've been to weddings that look more like kids parties than a wedding, which isn't something I would want.

Quite!

Again I think this is down to the age of the child. I have a 2 year old and I would definitely struggle to keep him occupied during a ceremony or speeches. He likes to be on the move and explore things.

Might be sad but true nevertheless. If you accept that children's presence changes the atmosphere, you should accept that some people find this change unwelcome.

Statistically, it's about 50/50 for children born in / out of 'wedlock' - at least according to the Office of National Statistics

It’s a shame as children love weddings and have always been well behaved at the ones I’ve attended. Loved the kids at my wedding, love how well they remember the day now they are adults.

Oh also I found it usually means the parents have to leave earlier than they’d like to as the children are tired. My bridesmaid had to leave at 8pm with her 6 year old.

I went to a wedding where the 2 child bridesmaids ran round taking everyone’s favours (that were commemorative - not my thing but appreciated by older people I think) empting contents into a bag and smashing a fair few of the containers. Then they asked guests for £1 each to guess how many of the contents were in the bag. The parents thought it was cute.

I can do without little kids in formal wear on the dance floor pretending to slow dance with each other, or flying across the dance floor on their knees.

I’m a fan of child free weddings

Ha ha - that's very true know that you point it out

I honestly hate kids at weddings. They’re loud, run around, take away the focus from the couple etc. It doesn’t mean I don’t love children, they’re just not accustomed to being bored for ten hours. At our wedding we only invited family children who were in the wedding party. Whilst we didn’t make it difficult if someone asked to bring a child (a friend bought her 2 month old baby) we did encourage on the invites that people find childcare. Nobody minded.

What bit of weddings do children actually enjoy? How many times do you read posts on here from people asking how they can keep their child quiet and occupied though long meals/ceremonies.

If you don't have an evening do with music where they can run around or a creche type arrangement during the ceremony/reception (which sort of defeats the object of them being at the wedding) which bit is fun for a child? I have been to full on Catholic weddings where the ceremony was about an hour and then about 2 hours for the photos whilst you have about 2 canapés to nibble on and then a three hour sit down meal, which I have found pretty tedious to be fair.

I don't actually think the 'no child' thing is down to a worry of children misbehaving - it's because, once the drinks start flowing at the 'after party', parents want to be able to let their hair down and not have to worry every five minutes about what their child might be up to...

He was left with a nanny, not Fred West.

Life must be incredibly difficult if something like this provokes such a reaction.

I don't think I have ever been invited to a wedding that was child free.
Maybe I am a child.
Anyway up to bride and groom really but from personal experience we loved having kids at our wedding. Each to their own.

I find the whole idea of a "child free wedding" very sad. Surely, a wedding is by its very nature a family occasion? It's the joining together of two people, the linking of two families. It should be a happy, joyous occasion and open to all imo.

When most weddings used to take place in a church, they were always public events: anyone could show up and watch the ceremony, they didn't have to have been invited. I went to quite a few people's weddings on that basis.

However, I do understand that a party arranged for the evening after the wedding might not be suitable for children to attend, due to the late timing and possibly loud music etc. So I quite understand that it might be an expectation that children would attend the ceremony with their parents but not an evening party.

Hopefully not as I love a good wedding knees up without my toddler and baby being there!

He was left with a nanny, not Fred West

I'm sorry - but that cracked me up

The couple are entitled to have a child free wedding if they want, but I wouldn't go out of your way to attend if it doesn't work for you.

I am getting married this year and am not having children apart from family and babies. I have nothing against having them but our venue charges £130 pp regardless of age and they count as a space so we wouldn't of been about to invite as many people as we have. Thankful everyone took it really well and said they wouldn't of brought them anyway as they want to fully enjoy themselves!

Am I the only one who can't help, when reading "babes in arms",having an entail image of babies with shields and spears and helmets?

< sort >

I love children at a wedding 🙂 lots came to mine . I went to one recently where there were loads of kids because they are a valuable part of the family. I think it depends on your own personal priorities which doesn't make it right or wrong, just different.

Mine will be mostly childfree, not because I have any objection to children being there but because we want to invite as many of our friends as possible and every child invited takes up a place that means we can’t invite another adult. We have made exceptions for those who are struggling with childcare though.

Don't know where 'entail' came from; and '< sort >' was supposed to say 'sorry''🙄

I honestly don't know why it's hard to understand ? I've got a rough list for my wedding. There are currently approximately 15 children on that list. If I was to invite every guest's child there'd be an extra 22 children. That's a huge amount to feed / find a seat for. To me, under 6 months is an exception but over that, I'd find childcare / pay for childcare/ only 1 attend. I think saying you don't want to attend because you'll be the only one not with a partner is strange. I attended many weddings alone when I eas single.