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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or overreacting?

125 replies

argh1588544 · 04/06/2023 18:51

Usually lovely partner just looked at me and said 'can I say something? You might want to get rid of that before work tomorrow'
I was confused
Turns out it is a tiny black hair near my lip less than half a centimetre.
This sounds daft maybe but we don't say things like that to each other and I was too surprised to reply the million ways I wanted to.
I did say 'can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone'
I think he's now offended, he said he was only trying to be considerate in case I hadn't noticed.
So AIBU to still be offended and surprised by this? And what should I have said?
Sorry I know it's not the most dramatic AIBU but life's not that exciting all the time.

OP posts:

Comfortablechairs · 04/06/2023 22:30

My friend had a mole on her back that was growing rapidly. Her husband was worried about it and kept on at her to see a doctor. Eventually she did. It was a malignant melanoma and it needed removing urgently.
According to you, OP, no man should ever raise concern about his partner's body. My husband's back has a number of moles. He can't see them but I keep a very careful check on them. I love my husband and I hope he loves me and checks out bits of me I can't see.

Original poster

argh1588544 · 04/06/2023 22:33

It's a tiny hair...it's not the same thing in the slightest, quite clearly.

OP posts:

NewPinkJacket · 04/06/2023 22:36

I did say 'can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone'

Blimey, you said that to your 'usually lovely partner'?

It's the sort of think I might've said to a random man on a bus if he'd pointed it out.

To my husband I'd say, "Ahh right, cheers".

Comfortablechairs · 04/06/2023 22:36

@argh1588544
Would you rather your partner did not point out to you a growing mole that you couldn't see?
I am not full of rage. I love my husband and I would never forgive myself iff fear of giving offence caused him to be unaware of a potentially life threatening condition.

Psiaspops · 04/06/2023 22:38

NewPinkJacket · 04/06/2023 22:36

I did say 'can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone'

Blimey, you said that to your 'usually lovely partner'?

It's the sort of think I might've said to a random man on a bus if he'd pointed it out.

To my husband I'd say, "Ahh right, cheers".

Haha, yep, to a tee!

Original poster

argh1588544 · 04/06/2023 22:39

Again, it's not a mole or dangerous thing it's a hair. I think it's fairly obvious that they're not in the same ball park, surely?
Anyway, I'm off to bed now and as amusing as some of the replies have been I think the clutching at straws to make a point is getting a tad bit silly.
Moles can change and be dangerous.
Someone pointing out an errant hair is not the same thing
Goodnight all, have a peaceful eve and a happy Monday ✌🏻✌🏻

OP posts:

Comfortablechairs · 04/06/2023 22:48

But @argh1588544 you did say
*
I don't comment on anyone's face or body at a*ll,

Which implies that you ignore anything growing on your partner's body.
Your last few posts suggest that you have reconsidered and you would comment if you thought it necessarily. Which is a good thing for both you and your partner.

SpringIntoChaos · 04/06/2023 23:01

Good lord but you're hard work!

KissyMissy · 04/06/2023 23:12

IAmAnIdiot123 · 04/06/2023 18:58

I'd be annoyed if dp didn't tell me and let me go to work with it.

Same!

007DoubleOSeven · 04/06/2023 23:17

I don't really understand why you posted if you're not prepared to listen to posters who think yabu 🤣

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/06/2023 23:47

If you had noticed it half an hour before he mentioned it, would you have plucked it?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/06/2023 00:22

Jesus OP, you have a goat hair that your partner noticed. Pluck the damn thing and get on with life.

As tell mine when I point out his old man eyebrows are are getting out of control. “If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t tell you”.

lifestylevlog · 05/06/2023 01:00

I'd be more upset if my husband hadn't pointed it out

PlatBilledDuckypuss · 05/06/2023 01:06

YABU. "Can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone."

But he's not "no man" he's your partner and you're not "anyone" you're his partner.

friendlycat · 05/06/2023 01:12

I would just tweezer it out. End of.

wideawakehead · 05/06/2023 01:18

My DP a couple of years ago I thought went to stroke my cheek, however he actually then pulled out a long hair growing from it instead 🤣

I don't see any harm, I'd rather know than not!

Wittsendhasarrived · 05/06/2023 01:54

The thing I'm confused about OP is in one breath you've been going on about how it's not his, or any man's, place to comment on your body in any way, shape or form because you're proud of your body and whatever added extras it wants to start sprouting.... And all power to you for that....
But....
In the next breath you spent quite a lot of time and effort trying to get a photo up to show us just how insignificant the 'offending' hair was. That's quite contradictory. Surely if you truly are as relaxed (and easily offended just by having it pointed out) as you say, there should be no need to also highlight how not really visible it is. It is visible, because he saw it. There's literally no point trying to convince us how unnoticeable it is when you're annoyed because someone noticed it. But either you care that it's noticeable or you don't and me thinks you doth protest too much frankly.

Thesunnymood · 05/06/2023 05:16

Actually unusual dark hair growth is also sign of number of medical issues.
Any changes on body can be.

Modaboutyou · 05/06/2023 05:16

You completely overreacted snd your response was pretty rude, in my opinion.

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 05/06/2023 05:28

Oh he's just worried that he'll wake up to Tom Selleck one day.

Lolabear38 · 05/06/2023 05:43

Yes, I think YABVU @argh1588544 . But that’s clearly not what you want to hear so my official response is this:

What a wanker! How very dare he. LTB with
immediate effect. Don’t worry about taking the tweezers with you though as you won’t be needing those.

bladebladebla1 · 05/06/2023 21:32

I agree with you

Psiaspops · 05/06/2023 21:44

Lolabear38 · 05/06/2023 05:43

Yes, I think YABVU @argh1588544 . But that’s clearly not what you want to hear so my official response is this:

What a wanker! How very dare he. LTB with
immediate effect. Don’t worry about taking the tweezers with you though as you won’t be needing those.

🤣😂🤣 yep, this^^

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 05/06/2023 22:10

Hair today..

Still there tomorrow!

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 01:10

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 05/06/2023 22:10

Hair today..

Still there tomorrow!

😂🤣😂🤣😂 awh thank you, I needed this laugh so much

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