Or overreacting?

[argh1588544]

Usually lovely partner just looked at me and said 'can I say something? You might want to get rid of that before work tomorrow'
I was confused
Turns out it is a tiny black hair near my lip less than half a centimetre.
This sounds daft maybe but we don't say things like that to each other and I was too surprised to reply the million ways I wanted to.
I did say 'can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone'
I think he's now offended, he said he was only trying to be considerate in case I hadn't noticed.
So AIBU to still be offended and surprised by this? And what should I have said?
Sorry I know it's not the most dramatic AIBU but life's not that exciting all the time.

I would be pleased he had told me. My daughter once yanked a stray hair which had appeared from my nose. A bit of warning would have been good

It sounds harmless to me. Also agree with one of the other posters, I do tell DH if he could do with a shave or hair cut x

You're obviously someone who doesn't worry about stuff like that, so yes, I do think it's odd he would bother to point it out.

Personally I'd want to know, and would deal with it, but we are all different.

Yes @PartyFarty I suppose how it was said was part if it, like it was some dark secret I need to hide or should be bothered by.
I'm not hurt or anything I was just surprised since it's out of character to say anything negative at all really.
Charmed life lol

Definitely over reacting. If a partner can’t say that to you then who can. As others said he probably thought he was being helpful, and in all the relationships I have ever been in he would have been. He likely wont bother next time, but I am guessing you are fine with that.

Same as I would say something to my DP that he would rather come from me than someone else

I'd be grateful to be told
It happens, it's not unique to you
My friends tell me, I tell them, but I agree it's how you say it

He was just trying to help

I did say 'can I say something? No man has the right to comment on something like that to anyone’

Can’t say I really understand or agree with this. What’s him being a man got to do with it and why would it be different to a woman? Surely it’s like having something stuck in your teeth, someone who actually cares about you pointed it out.

My DH once pointed out a big white grey hair at the back of my head, ‘it looks like a price tag’ was the comment. I wasn’t offended, him telling me doesn’t mean I didn’t have a big visible corse white hair, but I couldn’t do anything about it if I didn’t know.

@Psiaspops to be clear, I started the thread to clear my own thoughts about it and I haven't 'decided' anything, I can't decide my feelings. I've been replying to people explaining my thoughts and responding to theirs.

YABU.

You have asked if you over reacted. Anything other than “shit! Thanks!” would be unusual.

Why are you asking if you are overreacting? You've obviously already decided you're not. Isn't random strangers telling you how you should be feeling or reacting just as bad, if not worse than, than your DP pointing out a facial hair? Soooo confused

I don't comment on anyone's face or body at all and he's never commented to me either.

He’s never once commented on your face or body?
He’s never told you that you look good in a new outfit?
That a new style suits you and flatters X body part?
Never complimented a hair cut?

Seems unlikely really.

'If a partner can't say it then who can?'
Well...nobody really

And something in your teeth isn't supposed to be there but obviously this is

And the woman/ man thing, I just dislike men commenting on women's appearance in general.

Maybe it's just me then, I just personally don't take it upon myself to point out something on others that's growing
Or maybe I don't notice, perhaps I'll have to start paying more attention

Exactly!!

Sorry, we have never commented negatively or critically or pointed out anything that could be taken offensively.
Im not personally offended im just surprised by it and a little disappointed that it's something he'd feel the need to comment on

Well it is noticeable, because somebody literally noticed it.

You sound really hard work. If you've previously told him that he is NEVER to comment on any aspect of your appearance, it's a strong boundary for you, then I can understand your annoyance.

If he's just highlighted something to you, which he's probably been able to see all weekend but was assuming he was helping you by saying so before you go to work tomorrow, YABU and very, very precious!

I don't think he was being critical - just letting you know it's there.

I've told my husband it's his job to tell me if this happens. I have no idea why you are offended.

Yabu.

You sound like a nightmare!

He didn't say anything 'negative', and it seems you're hiding behind 'I love my facial hair' stance. You're coming across more so mortified because he pointed out something aesthetic to you.

Embarrassing herself! What a ridiculous thing to say.

My old manager told me off once for not telling him he had a massive yellow spot on his forehead. It must have appeared all of a sudden because I hadnt seen it

@SummerLover01 well same to you
I'm fine with myself and if he's been looking at it all weekend that sounds like a him problem really.
I wish I could post a photo I genuinely can't get it on camera without it being close up and blurry, sadly I've tried.

I'm really struggling to see why a hair would be embarrassing? Most women get an odd hair, more frequently the older they get and some women remove them whilst others don't. What is there to be embarrassed about having a little black hair?