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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think BIL takes the piss?

105 replies

sahayaway · 04/06/2023 16:35

My dad usually pays for four long weekends away every year. He spends thousands of pounds. He wouldn’t accept us paying towards it.

What annoys me is my brother in law plasters photos of the weekend and conveniently only includes photos of my sister (his wife) and their children in them. None have any of us even in the background or when we’re at the restaurant together etc. he even hid that one of these weekends was for my dads birthday, he made no mention of it or had my dad in any of the photos.

If you’re one of his colleagues or friends you would assume it’s him that’s treated his family to a trip away.

OP posts:
IamSmarticus · 04/06/2023 16:37

He just wants photos with his own family (wife/children). I can't see anything wrong with that tbh.

Mammyloveswine · 04/06/2023 16:40

I tend not to post photos of others online as they may not want to post the photos! I WhatsApp them to them instead!

Cheeseandlobster · 04/06/2023 16:41

Check your priviledge. Jeez. You are really fortunate to have these holidays paid for and you are whinging about what your bil posts on social media. Most people will in the main post photos of their own immediate family. It's no big deal.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/06/2023 16:41

What exactly is your problem?

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 16:42

This reply has been deleted

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Applebeard · 04/06/2023 16:42

Are you 15?

Aprilx · 04/06/2023 16:43

This has to be the biggest non issue I have seen on mumsnet for a very long time.

pinkyredrose · 04/06/2023 16:44

And this matters . . . Why?

Sensical · 04/06/2023 16:44

Feels like something and nothing to me, my mums partner does the opposite and posts pics of everyone on Facebook, bad angles and all. Some of us hate it

Jojobees · 04/06/2023 16:44

If my Bil put photos of me on his social media he’d be in trouble. I don’t actually understand your problem, is it that BIL isn’t gushing his heartfelt gratitude to your dad all over social media?

Toottooot · 04/06/2023 16:44

I can’t say I’ve ever looked at holiday photos on social media and thought ‘well done mannie for ‘treating’ your family to a trip away.’ Why would folk automatically assume HE treated them?

littleripper · 04/06/2023 16:45

SIL does this because she CBA to check/get permission for every other person to be on her social media
I think it's polite

Original poster
sahayaway · 04/06/2023 16:45

I think it’s disgusting to accept £5K worth of a weekend away and then pretend you paid. It was my dads birthday and he put “long weekend away” and literally no mention of my dad. I think it’s gross.

OP posts:
Toottooot · 04/06/2023 16:45

Gross - settle doon min.

littleripper · 04/06/2023 16:46

Is he pretending he paid? How? Does anyone care
When I see a lovely family pic I never think 'who paid for that trip?'

Applebeard · 04/06/2023 16:47

Sounds like your problems with BIL are deeper than a few pictures.

LubaLuca · 04/06/2023 16:47

You want him to mention on Facebook that the weekend break he's on was paid for by his father-in-law? Why should he? Presumably he says thanks in person.

FurryPelmet · 04/06/2023 16:48

His followers will not be remotely interested to see holiday photos of people they don’t know. He’s posting pictures of him and his wife and kids because those are relevant. It’s ridiculous to think he’s doing it to imply he’s the one paying for the holiday. I’m sure nobody else is calculating who paid.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/06/2023 16:48

sahayaway · 04/06/2023 16:45

I think it’s disgusting to accept £5K worth of a weekend away and then pretend you paid. It was my dads birthday and he put “long weekend away” and literally no mention of my dad. I think it’s gross.

You sound demented.

You have absolutely no idea if he's said a private thank you to your dad man to man in person or in another way.
You have no idea if he has spoken about the generosity of your father in RL to colleagues ( not that it's their business btw ) or if he doesn't post pictures of tou guys on SM out of respect.

Why don't you count your blessings or better yet pay for your own weekends away if you can't unclench around your BIL.

LubaLuca · 04/06/2023 16:49

sahayaway · 04/06/2023 16:45

I think it’s disgusting to accept £5K worth of a weekend away and then pretend you paid. It was my dads birthday and he put “long weekend away” and literally no mention of my dad. I think it’s gross.

He's not pretending anything, just not attaching the invoice for the break to his family snaps.

My parents would be embarrassed if I shared that sort of thing with all and sundry.

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 16:50

Just read your other thread OP

you sound very peculiar, sensitive and lonely

Lindy2 · 04/06/2023 16:50

Does he thank your dad? Does he act like he appreciates your dad's generosity?

Those are the important questions not what photos he takes.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 04/06/2023 16:50

I don't do SM, but can't you put a comment on thanking your Dad for his generosity to ALL of you, and saying to BIL, ^Hope you enjoyed Dads treat"...?

FurryPelmet · 04/06/2023 16:50

Unless he typed ‘lovely to treat the family to a nice holiday’ then where did he ‘pretend he paid’? By simply not mentioning who paid? It’s far more vulgar to talk about money in your social media posts than it is to privately thank a person.

ThatFraggle · 04/06/2023 16:50

Most adults don't want pictures of themselves on social media for people they don't know to look at.

Why would you want to be in pictures BILs Facebook friends look at. You don't know any of them and they don't know you and don't want to look at you.