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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop dating him...

59 replies

apairofjeanstharfitjustright · 03/06/2023 21:45

Been on four dates with a guy. He seemed great, was really attracted to him, good banter, both wanted the same things etc.

Tonight we were texting and he said,

'At my friends for the football, what are you doing? Should have gotten you round for the boys'

I said, 'what do you mean?'

And he said, 'would you like that? 😉😜'

I am disgusted but not sure if this is just flirty banter and I'm overreacting?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 03/06/2023 22:36

Flunkey · 03/06/2023 22:32

Do you think one of his mates has got hold of his phone and being a complete jerk?
I cant believe he could get through four dates if this is the kind of person he is with you noticing.

I wouldn't want to know if his friends were like that either!

NYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYNYN · 03/06/2023 22:38

🗑 him

Sothisisitthen · 03/06/2023 23:08

Gross. Only a completely desperate and insecure woman wouldn’t block him immediately.

FrostyFifi · 03/06/2023 23:14

Just no.

fancreek · 03/06/2023 23:16

Sothisisitthen · 03/06/2023 23:08

Gross. Only a completely desperate and insecure woman wouldn’t block him immediately.

Rude. What about someone who would like that?!

murasaki · 03/06/2023 23:19

Bin.

Also, in addition to the grossness, I could not date someone who says gotten.

Sothisisitthen · 03/06/2023 23:21

fancreek · 03/06/2023 23:16

Rude. What about someone who would like that?!

It’s date 4 and she’s given him no indication that she would “like that”. He’s a creep.

TheCentreSlide · 03/06/2023 23:21

That’s highly sinister and disturbing. Also misogynistic. You cannot trust a man like that. It must have put a chill through you.

End it.

EekGoesTheBaby · 03/06/2023 23:25

Run. Run fast.

SoTired12 · 03/06/2023 23:32

I'd wait until tomorrow and see if you get an explanation/apology.

If this is the first time he's acted like this then maybe he's had a few drinks and it's a one off, if he says anything else like that again though I'd end it.

ManyATrueWord · 03/06/2023 23:35

Porn watcher.

TheRotHasSetIn · 03/06/2023 23:35

Block him

AutisticLegoLover · 03/06/2023 23:40

Yuck. What a schmelck.

TheCentreSlide · 03/06/2023 23:44

Doesn’t matter if he was drunk, doesn’t matter if he apologises.

He has shown himself to be misogynistic and untrustworthy - and scary.

blackbeardsballsack · 04/06/2023 00:17

I can't believe he's messaged you saying that, that is shocking even by modern day depressing dating standards. Has he spoken to you like that before?

I would never reply to him or answer the phone to him again. I would have nothing to discuss with him.

PinkMendinilla · 04/06/2023 00:25

''For' the boys' as though you were a bloody M&S sandwich platter?! It's incredibly weird that would even cross his mind. He will inevitably apologise and say it was a joke, you've misunderstood etc but that would cross a line for me and I'd block without further ado.

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/06/2023 00:26

Arightoldcarryabag · 03/06/2023 22:16

Looks really bad but could he mean to introduce you to all his mate and asking if you'd like to meet his friends, like move your lives closer together?

If it is how it seems, there's loads of decent blokes about, no need to give chances to people like that.

Don't be daft, he was asking if she wanted to come round for a gangbang.

Dummycrusher · 04/06/2023 00:30

Wtf? Surely he must have expressed himself badly and he meant something else...?

Have you slept with him OP? Given any hint that you're into gang bangs?!

Mmhmmn · 04/06/2023 00:39

TheCentreSlide · 03/06/2023 23:21

That’s highly sinister and disturbing. Also misogynistic. You cannot trust a man like that. It must have put a chill through you.

End it.

This.
Absolutely horrific.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/06/2023 00:42

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Please say your response was 'No, I wouldn't like to be subjected to multiple rapes, actually' and then you blocked him.

MumsPett · 04/06/2023 00:46

I took it to mean show you off to them?

Psiaspops · 04/06/2023 06:07

You are not overreacting. As someone who had similar said to her as a 17 year old, I expressed my disgust etc and he apologised. (He was a few years older), I was then raped by him and his mate and I suffer from PTSD now. Block and run and never look back

liveforsummer · 04/06/2023 06:25

Yuk, sorry I can't find a way as suggested by a couple of pps where this could mean he wants to introduce you/move the relationship on. Bin!

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/06/2023 06:37

At first reading I thought he meant 'the boys' were either MNU or MNC (I'm assuming that's the match you're talking about) so he meant for you to come round and watch the match.

If it means what everyone else thinks then definitely get rid.

Achwheesht · 04/06/2023 07:34

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