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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering flying alone with 3 kids?

57 replies

Anna34 · 03/06/2023 19:12

Or is it a crazy idea? Anyone has any experience or tips?
We have booked flights for myself, husband and 3 kids to my home country to stay there for 5 weeks during the summer. However looks like my husband's work circumstances are changing and he will need to return to work 2 weeks into our trip. So here is my dilemma, do we all cut it short and return to UK together earlier than planned or do I stay behind with kids and we fly back later. I want to stay all planned 5 weeks but really could do with extra pair of hands when travelling and being so outnumbered by my children. They are aged 11, 7 and 4. Youngest one is a handful, very mischievous and rules don't apply to him. 7 year old has ADHD. 11 year old is fantastic when it comes to help with younger siblings but can also wind them up. I imagine long queues, suitcases, not enough hands, trying to keep an eye on them all at the same time etc and just the thought of it fills me with dread. Or is it completely doable? It's a 3 hour flight.

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 03/06/2023 19:12

That sounds like a NIGHTMARE.

VioletCharlotte · 03/06/2023 19:19

I wouldn't think twice about it. I'm a single Mum and have been since mine were very small so used to doing everything alone with two young children. My eldest has ADHD too, so I know what it's like, but it's worth it to be able to stay the extra weeks.

GladysHeeler · 03/06/2023 19:19

Three hours is doable I'd say. I've done it to Australia with my two on my own. Before iPads were invented,

My tips are
Don't have too much stuff. The first time I did it I had a wheels case and a buggy-didn't think that through!
Get child sized headphones.
Have plenty of snacks.
Wear them out as much as possible before departure. No sitting round in the airport.
Get one of those passport bags and strap it on to your eleven year old. I had to use a five year old for this responsibility but then you can concentrate on the small dc and all the luggage.

lakesummer · 03/06/2023 19:19

I think it sounds fine, not fun but fine.
I started flying with two alone from 3 years. The first flight was hard but it was also 10 hours in the air with a change over.
After the first time you will feel like you can manage.

lakesummer · 03/06/2023 19:20

One of mine has since been diagnosed with ADHD (which explains a fair bit) so I do get your stress levels.

UndercoverCop · 03/06/2023 19:20

DON'T DO IT!!!! Two adults and a 4 year old was bad enough recently, the queues and delays at the airport were awful

Flowersun6 · 03/06/2023 19:21

The 11 year old is old enough yo pull a case. Fir a 3 hour flight I would try it out had it been a 7 hour flight I would think twice.

UndercoverCop · 03/06/2023 19:21

I wouldn't be concerned about the flight itself, just the rest of it

WoooahNelly · 03/06/2023 19:22

I've done it on my own with 2 DC several times from ages of 4&5. It's not a long flight, you will be fine x

dinmin · 03/06/2023 19:24

I agree with PP, give the 11yo clear jobs / items to look after. But if you’re worried, could your husband fly back to collect you for the weekend at the end?

BTMadmummy · 03/06/2023 19:26

For a 3 hour flight, I think it would be worth while for a few weeks extra holiday

Hankunamatata · 03/06/2023 19:26

Wouldn't bother me. Travelled regularly home with mine 2 years between each and all adhd. Youngest ages were hardest with buggies and stuff. Id take a travel buggy to contain 4 year old. I take little handluggage so less cases to deal with

minidancer · 03/06/2023 19:28

I've done 10 hours with a 10 and 6 year old. The flights fine, it's security that stresses me out

Callmemummynotmaaa · 03/06/2023 19:28

I do it frequently (admittedly I’ve only two - but they are both toddlers 3&2) and if we’re lucky enough to have another, it’ll be the same as we live away from family. The tip earlier about not traveling with to much handluggage is key. Both of mine carry a small backpack with toys - then I’ve a much larger change bag that serves as my handbag/passports/snacks everything bag. Leave lots of time (better bored than panicked and rushed). Always wear something with pockets. I still have to drag a buggy! Can’t wait till that’s gone!! Honestly if family can drop you to the airport to check in, I’ve no idea why you’d think about coming home early.

Itsanotherhreatday · 03/06/2023 19:29

I’ve done it with three only 18 months between them so 4 2 2 - and upwards

They were always well behaved as they were somewhere new and it worked well.

Wouldn’t even stress about it.

lakesummer · 03/06/2023 19:33

Paying for fast track security is worth it if you can, also a lounge pass can help, or check if there is a playground of any sort, some airports have them.

GreekGod · 03/06/2023 19:35

Mine are teenagers now but 15 years ago was regularly going on flights with 3 kids under 4. It was a 5 hour flight. Difficult but manageable. In those years, iPads, iPods, colouring books and pencils. Always got 3 seats together. I never allowed them to sleep before the flight so that they could sleep on the flight but this doesn’t work for everyone. It was fine.

pizzaHeart · 03/06/2023 19:36

Would you be able to get a lanyard or something for the middle child to skip some queues?
Would you easily get seats to sit together on the way back?
Would your family drop you off to the airport and would your husband meet you up ?

Foldinthecheese · 03/06/2023 19:40

I flew from Heathrow to NY on New Year’s Eve with my three on my own. Twin boys are seven and my DD is four. We flew into JFK and had an onward domestic flight which was cancelled, so ended up staying in an airport hotel overnight, then had to go back to JFK in the morning, go through security again and get our final flight. It had its challenges, particularly waiting an hour for the shuttle to take us to the hotel at 10pm, when everyone was tired and fed up. Generally speaking, though, it was fine. They all watched stuff on their iPads, ate snacks and played games/coloured. I did my best to stay cheerful and positive through long queues.

Saying that (and I know how this sounds), my kids are naturally pretty well-behaved. They are rule-followers by nature and the circumstances they led to us having to do the journey on our own were quite sad, so they were trying extra hard to be helpful. If yours are likely to be more challenging, I wouldn’t blame you for giving it a miss. Is there anyone available to help get you checked in at the airport when you leave? Then it wouldn’t be too bad because then you won’t have to worry about luggage until the other end and you’ll have someone to keep an eye on them in that queue.

Sissynova · 03/06/2023 19:46

UndercoverCop · 03/06/2023 19:20

DON'T DO IT!!!! Two adults and a 4 year old was bad enough recently, the queues and delays at the airport were awful

FGS how do you think single parents go anywhere with their children?

The vast majority of people can handle a short flight with their own chicken.

OP will be fine.

Gabbies · 03/06/2023 19:46

Depending on your 11 year old could you “pay them” to help? Offer £20 if they do certain things and take accountability for somethings?

JulieHoney · 03/06/2023 19:48

Totally doable.

SoupDragon · 03/06/2023 19:51

I've done long haul every 2 years with 3, starting from age 7, 5 and 6 months. It's not that hard. Somewhat stressful but totally doable.

PuttingDownRoots · 03/06/2023 19:51

I flew regularly with mine from 2&4yo. It helps the elder one was extremely responsible (and I had no ADHD to deal with) but we got into a routine with it. Elder DD would go through a gate etc first, then grab hold of the younger DDs hand as she followed her through then I would follow. I had all tablets etc in my bag so it was easy at the scanners to get them out. Elder DD had a pull along case, I had backpack and buggy. The basic rule was hold each others hands at all times while I dealt with anything like getting the bags off the reclaim belt.

We did 5hr flights at first (from the country we lived in back to the UK, then it turned to a mix of plane and train when we moved countries again.

The hardest bit was the midnight landings and not getting the pushchair back at the gate.

maddiemookins16mum · 03/06/2023 19:53

It’s doable, they’re not toddlers so can be reasoned with (bribed).
I once flew alone with a 6 month old and 2 year old. That was fun.