Is my baby still alive mistaken miscarriage? Why is my belly so big?

[ivfregret]

Has anyone ever had their belly get way bigger directly AFTER miscarriage?

I had a scan and was told likely miscarriage especially if bleeding starts which it did.

Since then my belly is HUGE and no it's not weight gain I'm naturally always size 8 and it's literally only my belly that's gone big not the rest of me.

Has this happened to anyone? I'm going to take a pregnancy test but should I be worried?

I don’t think I could have done that after my miscarriage

Lovely, just message one of them and say you would love to meet up but you are dealing with the aftermath of a miscarriage (you can say the number if you want) and don’t feel you can fake it today. Friends will honestly want to know and support you and allow you to grieve

I wondered if that's why your staying because you need his permission to use them.

I wouldn't stay. Don't continue to put your body and mind through trauma trying to make a baby with him. He doesn't deserve to be part of your future or your family.

Infertility and IVF are brutal. It's absolutely devastating. I couldn't be with my own nephews at points in my journey. I've never been to a baby shower. I didn't meet my BF baby until he wasn't a baby anymore. I wasn't bitter. I was hurt, grieving and in pain. In all honesty, I have 2 children and I still bear the emotional scars of the miscarriages and IVF journey. My eldest was my last frozen embryo. I was close to a breakdown but couldn't walk away from the last embryo. Anyhow, I couldn't have done it without my husbands support and even then it put us under tremendous pressure as a couple.

I’m really sad that you’re in a relationship with someone who makes it so plain he does not give a single shit about you.

Refusing basic and easy genetic testing, refusing to come to scans, and telling you, mid-miscarriage, that you’re bitter to not want to see a load of pregnant or immediately postnatal women…

I mean, he looks a complete twat from where I’m standing.

I had a massive bleed when I was pregnant with twins . I assumed the pregnancy was lost ( I had a miscarriage history ) but in fact i was miscarrying a triplet ( a fact unknown to me ) . I continued to bleed quite a lot for about 12 weeks. I have also had a missed miscarriage when I had bleeding but no actual miscarriage . I had to have a D&C. None of us can say what the OPs situation is - and if a miscarriage I am so sorry for your loss @ivfregret but you really need to get checked out . I don’t think pregnancy tests are a good indicator - mine remained positive for a several weeks after one of my miscarriages . I wish you well .

You've just had a MC and he thinks your "bitter" for not wanting to be around pregnant women for a bit? Was he even in the queue when the empathy was handed out, never mind at the back of it?

Don’t go. As a PP said, real friends will understand. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them why, then just make up a sickness bug.

There’s nothing worse than putting on a brave face when you’re going through a traumatic experience and everyone around you is oblivious.

It's possible I had heavish bleeding when pregnant with my son. I got scanned and I was still pregnant. They didn't realise until birth I had had a placental abruption. If it's negative though go to the doctor's. The pregnancy hormones don't always show in urine after the first trimester.

Honestly op, I wouldn't be continuing to have sex and try for a baby until your dh figures out what it is he wants. He's either in or out. If he's in then he gets tested, is supportive and an actual part of the process.

If he's out then you can think about your relationship and next step.

"DH says I should go and I'm being bitter but I just think I might go briefly and then Leave."

Do exactly what you want. Go, don't go as YOU want.

Your partner doesn't seem to have any clue how you are feeling.

I am so sorry that you have had lots of different opinions from different doctors. I hope you can find a doctor who will help you and you will achieve your pregnancy.

Praying for a miracle. (Maybe with your partner or maybe with a new man.)

OP, it’s a little cruel when pp are hard on your DH. Unless you’ve been through multiple losses it is difficult to understand just how much strain it puts on a relationship. With every loss you try so hard not to become attached but it’s so hard as a woman sue to the hormones. It’s much easier for men so the loss is not physical just psychological. However, they are experiencing loss as well. Your DH may not show it but he will be in pain.
As for not being bothered, how would you feel if the problem was with him? Would you be telling him that your life together would never be complete? That you could only be happy if you had a child? That would be cruel. He loves you with or without children.
I spent most of my 30s trying unsuccessfully to have a family. I hated all the miracle stories, the advice, the endless hospital visits and the heart wrenching disappointment when yet another pregnancy failed.
I had my miracle baby when I was 40. He happened naturally and was a lovely accident since we had decided to move on and live our best lives without children.
DS is a special, lucky child, he’s actually now an adult, because if any of his brothers or sisters had made it he would never have existed.
Not everyone gets to meet their children. I sometimes wonder how my other babies would have turned out. DH and I make beautiful babies and very handsome young men. I very rarely think about my lost ones but OP your post and similar ones bring it all back.
You’re not ready to let go of hope yet. Stick with it a while longer. Your DH may be indifferent but that’s probably how he just copes with the losses. I hope you get your miracle.

Op's dh is the one being cruel. I've had multiple losses and took 7 years to conceive. You don't speak for everyone.

She would still be in the first trimester.

@Achwheesht I went to her clinic but now is jans brosens you don't get to see Quenby.

He did the NK cells test and just said it's all fine nothing wrong and come back if IVF fails three times and they'll repeat the test free 🙄

Not useful of helpful at all

Ah OP I've just read all your updates. You poor thing. Life is so shitty and so unfair. I can imagine that you totally feel your life is in limbo with this uncertainty hanging over your head. I can't believe your DH won't have the tests - it sounds as if he's scared of the results. If you decided to stop TTC could you imagine staying with him? I can imagine there would be resentment for his lack of co-operation.

hugest hugs I was also alone. We were on holiday, so DH needed to stay with DS back at the hotel. It's surreal and upsetting. Especially as you haven't really had any clues there may be problems until that point.

OP, it's perfectly fine not to go. I really struggled after MCs to socialise with others who hadn't been through any fertility issues - even good friends who knew what I'd been through. Not their fault but they would say things that were really upsetting (to me) so I'd just quietly sit back and then say I needed to go b/c loads of work to do/jobs at home etc. If you're not feeling it, don't go x

I'm really sorry. It's awful and the ups and downs are horrendous.

I was I was 9 weeks got scanned at 10 weeks and baby was still there.🥰

Good for you? OP has miscarried and her tests are negative now so I’m really not sure this is helpful to her.

Agree that someone posting about a negative pregnancy test doesn’t want to hear this tone.

Another virtual hug coming your way @ivfregret 🙂

I appreciate that this process is brutal on a relationship - it was on mine & we were both women so we didn't have to face any of the questions around who was 'at fault' which I know can be damaging, & only one of us was going through something physically. But you need & deserve support & care & it doesn't sound like your DH is providing that. The comment about you being "bitter" is really uncalled for.

My best advice right now would for you to look after yourself. Stuff everyone else - & that includes your friends & your DH. Focus on what you & what you want to do. Read your book, sit in the sun, maybe go shopping for something to match the loafers 😉 Prioritise yourself, & see where that leads you 🙂

@AprillaCourt 😂 I love you know I'm the loafer poster too!! I've only worn them once actually they're very tight and not as comfortable as they first appeared but maybe they just need a bit of breaking in!!