Is my baby still alive mistaken miscarriage? Why is my belly so big?

[ivfregret]

Has anyone ever had their belly get way bigger directly AFTER miscarriage?

I had a scan and was told likely miscarriage especially if bleeding starts which it did.

Since then my belly is HUGE and no it's not weight gain I'm naturally always size 8 and it's literally only my belly that's gone big not the rest of me.

Has this happened to anyone? I'm going to take a pregnancy test but should I be worried?

You definitely need to do another test and seek medical advice

@Hellno45 no unusual discharge and no smell either

Unfortunately, I have way too much experience with pregnancy loss.

Usually after a mc you would be asked to do a pregnancy test two weeks post bleed to check for any hormones that may be left.

If you're having any symptoms of pregnancy it's still worth getting a scan. You can get a private scan done and book online for most places. Some private scan clinics don't like doing internal scans.

You can always book at a private hospital as well. They are slightly more expensive. The scans range from around £80 to £140 where I am in Surrey. Your area may be different but definitely worth getting some advice.

A&E will just book you in to see the epu when it reopens. If you can't wait until Monday best bet is to go private.

Still get checked.

Randomly, have you tried Intralipids?

To be sure that they actually had a miscarriage and not just random bleeding? To check for a remaining embryo after the miscarriage in case it was a twin pregnancy?

@ivfregret
As a fellow miscarriage warrior, I’m so sorry for your losses. I found for mine that I was constantly having to phone the epu and request scans myself because I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right - I had bleeding for 3 months post “the event”.

I’m really praying that for you there is a miracle baby in there, but if that’s the case or not, you should definitely push for an internal scan to confirm/ rule out anything. For me, a large cyst was spotted at one of my scans post miscarriage and the removal of that saved my life.

I regret to inform you that it's very likely that your DH does not actually want children. My sister has just been through similar, where her STBXH blew hot and cold and wouldn't go for fertility testing when they were she was TTC. It was only after she finally left him that he told her the truth.

Please don't give up. I have PCOS and had an early miscarriage in May last year and the next month I got pregnant again. Now I have my baby girl. Midwifes were saying there are higher chances to get pregnant after miscarriage. I didn't know that. I just couldn't believe

This is only my experience, and maybe it's not common, but I had a lot of sudden and very heavy bleeding and was told it was a miscarriage. Had to wait another week for hospital appointment to check everything had come away and had given up all thoughts of being pregnant. At the appointment it was confirmed I was definitely still pregnant and actually several weeks later into the pregnancy than I'd thought!

@ivfregret you can phone 111 and explain that you assume you’ve had a miscarriage, you are testing negative on a pregnancy test but you have some lower stomach swelling and you are worried about retainer products or infection, and someone will see you this weekend.

Just wow. You are lovely.
Just because you have had one experience doesn’t make it the norm. A lot of people are asked to take pregnancy tests to show that they go down to negative incase they need further treatment. It also helps to date future pregnancies to have a negative if you get pregnant straight away.

but you know, be nice. Don’t beat someone who’s going through something you are not and you can not have all the experience and knowledge in the world. You know even doctors have to specialise and sub specialise as no human can no everything? Except you?

I am so sorry to hear this @ivfregret. We were in a similar situation and gave ourselves a fixed number of years after first trying, to move on to either adoption or living child free. We chose adoption and now (despite some huge bumps in the road both on the process and with our DC1) we have two largely very rewarding DCs.

Op I am so sorry u are going through this. As someone who went through 7 years of fertility treatment to get my dc, which I am extremely grateful for, i understand how devastating it is waiting for that much wanted child. I was grateful at the time that i didn’t have any mc, I just couldn’t conceive, and I remember thinking I didn’t know if I could cope with that I really didn’t feel strong enough.
No matter what people say and all the good intentions (including my own) it’s heartbreaking and I remember often feeling very angry, bitter and alone. It becomes all consuming and it’s hard because nobody can 100% understand how you are feeling. IMO you sound like a very strong individual to be through the losses you have so please grieve what could have been and be good to yourself. This is really tough and a rocky time but it will pass and I truly hope it all works out for you.

Flipping hell. How vile was he?????
why string her along FFs?!
I hate people who waste time, if they don’t want children wouldn’t it be easier to just say so?

@EsmeSusanOgg I had that experience too and only found out at the 12 week scan which I went to on my own - I was straight to theatre and had a definite tummy for at least 2 or 3 weeks after too. It's a horrible experience x

Firstly I am so incredibly sorry you and your partner have gone through such an experience. Definitely try and book in for a scan! I suffered 4 losses then somehow on the pill fell pregnant with twins and I had the absolute heaviest of bleeds all through that pregnancy. Like actual huge gushes (so sorry for the tmi or triggers) and the midwife scanned me and said it was small bubbles if trapped blood and the babies where fine.

keep strong, trust your gut and we are all sending love and positivity!

I'm so sad. DH doesn't want to come to any scans the last one I went alone when they said I post the baby.

I don't understand why he does this.

Then I have all sorts of questions about our relationship I'm just so alone noone understands this situation

why string her along FFs?

He's a slob who didn't lift a finger around the house despite her working 12 hour rotating shifts, and he didn't want to lose his unpaid housekeeper. When she went back to collect some post recently, he had (mostly) tidied up and hoovered. She was distraught that he didn't care enough to do that when she was still living there.

I’m so sorry OP, miscarriages are terrible and heart wrenching. 💔 I understand that horrible limbo feeling, especially when getting pregnant then having a loss seems to feel like it sets you back more. It really is such BS, I’m sorry you’re going through this right now

He doesn't see the children you want as "ours" but as "yours", so going to the associated medical appointments is "your problem" not "our problem". As I said, I suspect strongly that he doesn't actually want children.

My pregnancy test wasn’t negative until 3 maybe even 4 weeks after my miscarriage.

also I don’t think you would be showing at 9 weeks. My belly didn’t change until about 20 and even then not really

I also have a meet up tomorrow with five friends of which they're either pregnant or all have children and I just DONT want to be a part of their conversations.

DH says I should go and I'm being bitter but I just think I might go briefly and then Leave.

Why are you staying with someone with so little regard for your wellbeing?

He won't have testing which could potentially rule out genetic factor or save you from more heartbreak if genetic factors are an issue. He won't attend scans that may be potentially traumatic. He's not really demonstrating care through his actions.

Do you have frozen embryos? Are you staying so you can use them?

I don't have any frozen embryos

Don't go. Real friends will understand. Do something for yourself instead. Self care doesn't make you bitter. You have to look after your own mental health because no one else will. Your DH is a wanker.