AIBU that this is kind of sad?

[adviceseeker22]

So my DH and I love about 8-10hrs away from his DM. Normally (but bear in mind that COVID was part of it) my SIL (who lives in the same county as us) would go and get their DM and my DH would drive her back. However, this year it turns out that she has timed it so it overlaps with something she's doing where their DM lives so it's like a two birds one stone situation. However we're abroad for most of the time my MIL is here and the DCs won't be able to see her bar one day. That's it that's all they'll see her for this year. Other reason being that she doesn't like to sit around at home when she's visiting (so DH has to take time off and he has none left). They're all taking the angle of "it is what it is" but I'm pretty sure it would either have been planned better, or my MIL could enjoy the garden while we work and enjoy the DC, but apparently that's not good enough. I just find the whole a bit sad.

He is entitled to take unpaid parental leave. They can delay it for business reasons but not prevent him taking it altogether.
It sounds like he’s not that bothered about seeing his mum and vice versa though.
If he’s off at Christmas can you compromise there. Celebrate 24th our way and 25th traditional way.

https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Thanks Dixie never knew about that one!! I'll definitely request it!

@IkeaMeatballGravy I totally agree. Her inability to travel if she is otherwise fit and well is I think ridiculous. She is the one where her time is her own and she has lots of it.

As you know I think someone could compromise. Obviously not my SIL, but I think my husband could be firmer with his employer about his leave rights, and my MIL could be motrt flexible either in terms of travelling or be happy be with her grandchildren even if it's just the garden! If the alternative is to only see them for 2 hours until the next year, I know I would rather just be with them (even if not ideal for me) than not at all

I think you are trying to find solutions because you are viewing this from a grandkids need grandparents point. DH is viewing this as a LC point with his mother, possibly MIL is seeing it the same as well. They aren't bothered seeing each other.

You can't fix a problem when the two main players don't think its a problem. If you really want your children to bond with MIL then it seems Zoom is the way forward.

Well she doesn't know how to use a smartphone (much less owns one). So Zoom isn't the solution. We have one of those Facebook portals and we even showed how easy they're to use and she had zero interest