Why are single people looked down on so much?

[IsThereAnEchoInHere]

It just doesn’t make sense to me?
Why do people care so much?
It’s one thing if they want or can’t live without a relationship, but why do they impose it to others?

This

@blueigloo Why is it odd to want to be forever single and not date ?
It's attitudes like yours which really piss me off.

Also @Screamingabdabz that just sounds like you are backtracking.
Why are you assuming all single people have no love in their lives at all? That is bizarre. I have my dogs, parents and more in my life. I am loved and love despite not being in a romantic relationship. Wild I know.

There are some judgemental people out there but I see it as their issue not mine.

A friend of a friend told them that they fancied me but the fact I’ve been single for a couple of years put him off as - apparently - no one is single that long unless there’s something wrong with them.

Such a shame I missed out on that catch eh

As a species humans are sexual animals. So some people will find single single difficult to understand or think that you must be lonely in some way.

Also I do think some people suspect that if someone is permanently single there must be ‘something wrong with them’ in some way. That could range from wondering if there are mental health issues or psychosexual dysfunction to undesirable personality traits or habits.

Additionally people can ‘other’ what they don’t understand. ‘Sex and relationships’ tends to be important to most people.

Not saying this is what I think but just surmising. Sorry, you did ask!

But there's a systemic bias against single people in this country.

Well no, it's that it's more expensive to live alone- you could rent or buy with a friend or someone in your family and share bills etc. Just because most people live with a romantic partner doesn't mean it needs to be so, most things are objectively cheaper if the cost is shared.

no one is single that long unless there’s something wrong with them.

That’s funny, considering how many people there are who are in relationships and have plenty wrong with them😁
The black and white thinking is so crazy to me!

Also strongly disagree that people are only long term single if there is 'something wrong with them'. Not the case at all! I have several friends who are single, mainly because they don't want to prioritise a relationship over the other things they have going on in life. One travels abroad every holiday from work, another dedicates a lot of time to something they're passionate about, another just finds it hard to be around someone a lot but all are beautiful, thoughtful, accomplished, funny, caring and amazing people (bias as they're my friends though).

Lots of reasons people are single and happily so. Of course some would like a relationship, just as conversely some people are stuck in shitty relationships and would like to be single but don't feel they can escape.

Not everyone want/care/are so driven by sex that settle for any ol’ relationship.
And it’s also interseting that you just point out sexual.
Some do want love and companion, a partner, but not sex.

psychosexual dysfunction
Like that such a horrible faith.
undesirable personality traits or habits
This describes so many people who have been and currently are in relationships.
It’s not like it’s only ’good people’ who ’deserve’ relationships are in one.

Additionally people can ‘other’ what they don’t understand.
This is definetly a thing, few commenters said that people need others to be in neat little boxes and one thing I’d say many do is that, they themselves aren’t good on their own and then they project their own fears, insecurities, fears of making their own choices and living more independent life onto those who do stay single.
We’ve been brainwashed since birth that conventional lives woth partners (and kids) is what ’good’ people do. And then you are excepted - seeing someone rejecting life order this big makes them perhaps uncomfortable.

I actually think serial dating is far more off putting than someone being single for a while. Each to their own but it’s not for me.

Im not going to lie, the worst thing for me about being single is the lack of sex but equally I’m not going to jump into bed with any random who buys me dinner. I need to build a connection with someone before I would think about getting into another relationship

I’m single after a long (25 year) relationship and I enjoy the space and freedom I’ve got right now.
Im not adverse to meeting someone but it had to be someone special. The idea of dating fills me with horror if I’m honest.

I have quite a few single friends all in our 50’s who have been divorced and not willing to settle for the wrong man. Nothing wrong with any of us, it’s just where we are right now in life.

I'm seeing an awful lot of misogyny and judgement of women in relationships tbh on this thread

61 here and single by choice. I have never in my life been down on. Envied more like

Definitely! And I love the name! I hope it's famous and blue

I don't really get the envy angle as most people in relationships could be single if they liked.

Once you reach your mid forties you realise that half of the married people around you are unhappy/bored/discontented.

and yet plenty of people drift on for years in what are clearly unhappy relationships. because splitting isn't always all the straightforward.

@LittleDonkeyKong

"I'm a 40 year old single mum of 2. Have been single for 9 years and people don't look down on me quite the opposite. Alot of people are jealous of my life as I don't have to please an overgrown child!"

You really think thay people envy being 40 years old and single-handedly having to take care of two kids?

I think not😅

Surely you understand that just because they vent about their husband's and say they "envy" you ...doesn't actually mean they envy you .

Noone envies living a life all alone . Or having to raise two kids single-handedly without ever being able to share the load. And who truly envies having kids grow up without a dad around.

So don't be native to think everyone envies you and no one judges you. People would have /will. They just wouldn't say it to your face is all..

My best mate is almost 50 and has been single for most of her life, she has had a few relationships here and there but nothing ever really committed. She is happy, she comes from a close family, has lots of friends, a job she loves. I've never looked down on her. She's great.

My mil has been single as long as I've known her(20yrs) she got divorced 30 years ago now, she went through a phase where she spoke about being lonely and wanting companionship but after dipping her toes in decided she was happier single. More power to her. I've never looked down on her either she is awesome.

People I don't really know that are single/in relationships I couldn't really give a toss either way, I never really think about it.

And it’s also interseting that you just point out sexual.
Some do want love and companion, a partner, but not sex.

Absolutely. But a lot of people would regard that as a type of friendship I think.

@Screamingabdabz

It's a strange assumption that single people don't have love in their lives.
Pretty sure my mum loves me, and my son. Not sure about the cat - dependent on the supply of food.
I have many friends, most of very long standing - 20 years and more. Quite sure there is a lot of love there

I don’t know any friends who build a life together in that intense/intimate way…

Anyway, point was that not everyone want the same/conventional kind of a relationship.

Wow this might be one of the most savage responses I've seen on here. So bloody nasty fuck me.

Once you reach your mid forties you realise that half of the married people around you are unhappy/bored/discontented

but solvent.

for a lot of them, solvent as long as they stay together. that's the quandary.