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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids screaming in garden next door!

311 replies

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 01/06/2023 11:17

So for the 5th time this Spring/Summer, the kids next door are playing happily and very loudly in the garden next door directly into the open door of my kitchen.

I really like the adult neighbours (their parents) and really don't want to fall out with then.

Any suggestions of how to approach this as can't bear the idea of a full Summer of screeching kids! They are 10 and 7! 😬

OP posts:
ClaudiaWankleman · 01/06/2023 15:34

Vintagejazzing · 01/06/2023 15:02

I am responding to your comment that children can do what they like at 11 am in their own garden. Children screeching for long periods of time may not be illegal but damn sure it's anti social and their parents need to intervene.
Not sure where the hyperbole comes in. Are you sure you have the correct word?

Characterising children screaming as a 'to hell with everyone else' attitude is absolute hyperbole. There's also no mention of 'long periods of time' in the OP, so you've exaggerated there again. Not to mention that children don't scream for long periods of time, unless your idea of a long period is half an hour of on and off noise.
Are you sure you have read my and OP's posts correctly?

CottagePieLaLaLa · 01/06/2023 15:36

Those saying the OP should suck it up, would you say the same if it was dogs barking? After all that'd be dogs just being dogs.

jdjshsbwhusushshehwh · 01/06/2023 15:54

Buy some chalk for them, that shuts kids up.

show them how to draw a target and concentrate on getting a stone in the middle.
hopscotch.
obstacle courses

RubiesandRose · 01/06/2023 16:24

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 01/06/2023 11:44

I have 2 children, my neighbour that backs on to me has children of the same age.

The noise level from their garden was horrific. It was constant, it was loud, and it wasn't just play noise, it was arguing, crying, fighting.

I knew their names and the names of several of their friends within the Spring half term because they were constantly being repeated, and at no stage did the mother try and get things to a lower level. In the end, I said something to them.

Absolutely everyone has a right to enjoy their own home and garden, but them enjoying theirs in the way that they were meant that we couldn't enjoy ours.

No one expects silence from their neighbours. My children make noise, my dog will bark, that's life with neighbours. But I am considerate. If the kids are screeching and arguing they get told to stop, or they'll have to come in. If the dog keeps barking and won't stop he gets sent in. I don't want to hear it and I chose to have them in my life, why would my neighbours want to?

Noise is normal. constant, excessive noise day in day out is selfish.

Absolutely this, my kids are grown up adults but when they were younger if they started screaming or arguing they got told to turn the volume right down, the neighbours don't want to hear it!

anon12093 · 01/06/2023 16:28

Complaints when kids are on screens, complaints when kids are outdoors.

If you don't like neighbours then shut your door/wear headphones/move somewhere with no neighbours.

It doesn't sound like they were out playing at 10pm last night so I don't understand what the issue is.

bonfirebash · 01/06/2023 16:34

anon12093 · 01/06/2023 16:28

Complaints when kids are on screens, complaints when kids are outdoors.

If you don't like neighbours then shut your door/wear headphones/move somewhere with no neighbours.

It doesn't sound like they were out playing at 10pm last night so I don't understand what the issue is.

Why should I have to wear headphones? So the children can scream and yell and shriek as much as they want until... is there a cut off age?
Part of living is being considerate of other people, not letting your children be so loud your neighbours is wearing noise cancelling headphones
If someone blasted music constantly or a dog barked all the time people would complain at that but provided they're under what, 10 years old, it's absolutely fine?

LlynTegid · 01/06/2023 16:39

If they get upset with a polite and courteous approach (conversation not phone call or note), then they are not the kind/nice neighbours you think they are.

Don't be a doormat.

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/06/2023 17:07

CottagePieLaLaLa · 01/06/2023 15:36

Those saying the OP should suck it up, would you say the same if it was dogs barking? After all that'd be dogs just being dogs.

If the dog was experiencing severe separation anxiety or being mistreated then it wouldn't be OK. But a dog that is going in and out the house, barking as a result of stimulation? Yes, suck it up.
Back to the children - I live just down the road from a primary school of 800 pupils. At break times I am consistently incredulous at just how loud they can be. But it is just what children do, isn't it? It's part of living next door to other people that you hear them behave normally. For adults that's probably watching sport on the TV, and for kids it's screaming on the trampoline.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/06/2023 17:12

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 01/06/2023 11:44

I have 2 children, my neighbour that backs on to me has children of the same age.

The noise level from their garden was horrific. It was constant, it was loud, and it wasn't just play noise, it was arguing, crying, fighting.

I knew their names and the names of several of their friends within the Spring half term because they were constantly being repeated, and at no stage did the mother try and get things to a lower level. In the end, I said something to them.

Absolutely everyone has a right to enjoy their own home and garden, but them enjoying theirs in the way that they were meant that we couldn't enjoy ours.

No one expects silence from their neighbours. My children make noise, my dog will bark, that's life with neighbours. But I am considerate. If the kids are screeching and arguing they get told to stop, or they'll have to come in. If the dog keeps barking and won't stop he gets sent in. I don't want to hear it and I chose to have them in my life, why would my neighbours want to?

Noise is normal. constant, excessive noise day in day out is selfish.

Perfectly put, @aperolspritzbasicbitch.

I love it when I hear the local kids playing outside - I live in Scotland, so it’s a treat when the weather is good enough for them to play out - but all our neighbours are considerate, and there isn’t lots of constant screeching or screaming.

It’s about consideration all round - I don’t expect silence, but I do appreciate the neighbours’ being considerate about noise.

TheOrigRights · 01/06/2023 17:20

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/06/2023 17:07

If the dog was experiencing severe separation anxiety or being mistreated then it wouldn't be OK. But a dog that is going in and out the house, barking as a result of stimulation? Yes, suck it up.
Back to the children - I live just down the road from a primary school of 800 pupils. At break times I am consistently incredulous at just how loud they can be. But it is just what children do, isn't it? It's part of living next door to other people that you hear them behave normally. For adults that's probably watching sport on the TV, and for kids it's screaming on the trampoline.

800 children will indeed make a lot of noise (that's a massive Primary school BTW!).
The playing noise of a bunch of kids is very different to just a few children screaming. If one of my children wanted to speak to me when they were out and I was in, I would expect them to come in and call me, not just scream MUMMY from the garden.

Olive19741205 · 01/06/2023 18:21

lovemycottage · 01/06/2023 15:24

Well op kids are kids, the weather is beautiful, it's healthy to be outside.

Did you not play outside as a kid?

Another one who doesn't parent her kids.

Olive19741205 · 01/06/2023 18:23

anon12093 · 01/06/2023 16:28

Complaints when kids are on screens, complaints when kids are outdoors.

If you don't like neighbours then shut your door/wear headphones/move somewhere with no neighbours.

It doesn't sound like they were out playing at 10pm last night so I don't understand what the issue is.

Move house because you can't be bothered to tell your kids to stop screaming? You're having a fucking laugh.

Olive19741205 · 01/06/2023 18:25

I live just down the road from a primary school of 800 pupils. At break times I am consistently incredulous at just how loud they can be.

"Down the road" is not right next to your garden.

anon12093 · 01/06/2023 18:27

Why should kids have to stay in because you don't like their noise?

bonfirebash · 01/06/2023 18:39

anon12093 · 01/06/2023 18:27

Why should kids have to stay in because you don't like their noise?

They don't have to stay in. They can play, chat, laugh, whatever without the shrieking and screaming
It's like the difference between a sober group of adults having a chat, and a drunk group. There's a noticeable difference in noise

Lanneederniere · 01/06/2023 18:44

I have two children right next door, aged 10 and 6. Both are lovely children and the parents spend as much time as possible actually playing with them. They rarely shout or scream and are a joy to hear, especially the little girl singing.

HOWEVER, when their cousin comes to visit it's a completely different story, he is ridiculously loud, rude, incapable of playing with anything, and destructive. We are always well aware that he is there. I feel pity for whoever lives next door to him because one hour of his noise gives you a severe headache.

endofthelinefinally · 01/06/2023 18:48

We were told never to scream unless seriously hurt or being murdered.
I taught my dc the same.

theblackradiator · 01/06/2023 18:53

what I hate is why do people decide to fling all their windows open with a huge speaker on the window sill and blast shit loud music out for all the street/estate to hear at the first sight of any sunshine. they seem to be able to listen to it at a reasonable level where just their household can hear it every other season of the year but summer they seem to think everyone wants to hear it! drives me mad.
I don't mind hearing children playing but I have a family a few doors down who's child constantly blasts a football at one of those metal sheds drives me crazy. parents never tell the child not to do it. it's been going on for about 4 years now I'm surprised the Shed is still standing.

Vintagejazzing · 01/06/2023 18:55

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/06/2023 15:34

Characterising children screaming as a 'to hell with everyone else' attitude is absolute hyperbole. There's also no mention of 'long periods of time' in the OP, so you've exaggerated there again. Not to mention that children don't scream for long periods of time, unless your idea of a long period is half an hour of on and off noise.
Are you sure you have read my and OP's posts correctly?

I was actually addressing your post where you said 'children can do anything they like in their garden at 11am' so presumably you meant literally 'anything they like'. Or is that hyperbole as well?

PinkRiceKrispies · 01/06/2023 18:57

My neighbours grandkids are so loud I literally heard them in the nearby park which my garden backs onto earlier today.
As I said before, they holler at each other, scream, cry and throw tantrums and yell at the top of their voices and christ are their voices grating. Whiny and irritating. If any mother is concerned about their teenage daughter getting pregnant they should come and stay at my house for a bit. Listening to those kids is the best form of birth control ever.
Absolute bloody nightmare. Makes me so angry.

Nanny0gg · 01/06/2023 18:58

Beaniesmumsie · 01/06/2023 11:43

The neighbour’s kids are playing in the garden, during school holidays and as kids do, make noises and I presume not screaming at the top of their lungs for hours for no reason… close your door and turn on some music, they’re doing nothing wrong

But maybe they ARE screaming at the top of their lungs?

No-one minds laughing and some raised voices and shouting but screaming and screeching is unnecessary. It goes right through you...

bellocchild · 01/06/2023 19:07

You could consider playing deeply serious modern classical music loudly in your garden when they are out? Worked very well at the bus stops round us, got rid of the teenagers no bother!

DinoDaddy · 01/06/2023 19:07

You would really hate us. Our 4 kids play out most days and can be quite noisy. If the neighbours asked me to make them keep it down I would probably encourage music instruments in the garden for the next few days. Give them something to actual moan about.

HauntedPencil · 01/06/2023 19:08

So five times this whole year they've been loud and everyone is up in arms at the little shits/crap parents blimey.

I guess yes there is a balance of usual kids having fun noise and actual screeching but yes they are going to make a noise in their gardens during the summer months.

Achwheesht · 01/06/2023 19:12

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