Me and my partner moved in with his mum and her husband late last year. We have a 13 month old.
I'm from up north, my partner is from down south and he was desperate to move home. We lived together in the north for 5 years. My mum passed away 3 years ago and she was all my family there. So during my maternity leave my partner said let's move back to where I'm from and save to buy by moving in with my parents. Me being hormonal, emotional, all of that fun first time mum mood. I said yes, I transferred my job, moved my whole life. My in laws live away 6 months of the year so I thought that can't be bad. Now 5 months down the line it's honestly the worse choice I've made. I'm starting to resent my partner. I had a lovely relationship with my mother in law prior to this move. I now can't stand her and her husband. Her husband is just horrid. The way he speaks to her, the way he is, everything.
We can't run a hot tap for to long, we can't do more than 2 washes a day. My MIL takes over shopping, plans meals, won't let us cook. At first that was amazing. But she's now planning dinners, not telling us and if we dare buy our own we get a lecture how she's wasted food. On Sunday I said I'll do the shop this time, you have a rest I'll cook for the week. She walks in the next day with a whole shop and said she just done it because she was passing. Gave me our bill and it's £47 for stuff we didn't even want or pick.
Our little girl has only just started sleeping through the night and she's in our room, in her own cot. It's now a huge debate everyday why aren't we moving her in the spare room. What I feed her it's wrong, what I don't feed her it's wrong. I'm dressing her to hot or to cold. I'm not allowing her rough and tumble because I wouldn't let her crawl in the garden where the dogs wee. My MIL had her out there crawling on hard stone and I got her in and said "no, dirty out there" she's letting her go where the dogs wee. I'm trying to be polite about it.
The husband is just awful. To name one Incident, we had nappy bin bag collection day and it was the night before. Our daughter was teething terrible, wouldn't settle on me or my partner we were taking it in turns to settle her. We then remember the bins and I said let's just do it first thing as bins don't come till 9am. At midnight the husband burst in our room while we were asleep and shouted "you've forgot the fucking bins" while our child was sleeping. He was going mad downstairs while I jumped out of bed to sort the bin bags half asleep. All they had to do was put them over the gate which we were doing in the morning. I had to bite my tongue the whole time as I didn't want to wake my daughter. The next day nothing was mentioned. I had my daughters jabs so that was my main focus that day. But since nothing mentioned.
Everything is getting on top of me. I feel like a shit mum like I can't do anything right or it's being judged. I in myself just feel a shell of who I was. I'm so close to losing it but I'm keeping it together for my partner, the environment my daughter lives in and the fact we have to live here. I want out and to rent, a mortgage means nothing to me but happiness does. Again my partner won't do it. So what do I do, break up my family for them?