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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teens having sex in the next room

125 replies

Plumspearsbanana · 31/05/2023 17:39

My son and his girlfriend both live with us (both 18), their bedroom is next to mine.

The last couple of weeks I’ve heard them having sex. I don’t want to hear this. I wear ear buds to bed and turn the volume up. I obviously don’t want to say anything to them as they’ll be embarrassed.

I just wondered if other parents have had to deal with this? Is just ignore the best option?

OP posts:
Fancylike · 31/05/2023 19:01

Quietly point out to the gf that the theatrics will only set her up for a life of disappointment. He’s 18, he’s not doing anything that’s actually rocking her world.

Mylifeislikeaboatrace · 31/05/2023 19:06

Wreck their pleasure why don't you fancy if they are happy so what? OP don't say such a dickish thing to either. Drip feed will say this is a joke.😏

Mischance · 31/05/2023 19:08

I'd be totally pissed off with this after no doubt decades of striving for silent sex in order not to upset son when he was young!! His turn to suffer!!

bostonchamps · 31/05/2023 19:09

Sarahtm35 · 31/05/2023 18:45

I wouldn’t let my 18 year old daughter live with her boyfriend. I would be blunt with them and say “I can hear you having sexual intercourse, please be more respectful to those you live with thanks”
and as a side note make sure they’re using BC or you’ll end up with a screaming baby in the next room.

Careful there, clutch those pearls any tighter and they'll turn to dust.

CanofCant · 31/05/2023 19:10

Fancylike · 31/05/2023 19:01

Quietly point out to the gf that the theatrics will only set her up for a life of disappointment. He’s 18, he’s not doing anything that’s actually rocking her world.

😂

Watchkeys · 31/05/2023 19:14

Ponderingwindow · 31/05/2023 18:47

Since you have decided to let them live there, this one is on you.

No. Deciding to let someone live with you doesn't mean that they can be inconsiderate and you have to just live with it.

LlynTegid · 31/05/2023 19:17

A quiet and discreet conversation with your DS. Not when his gf is around.

Susuwatariandkodama · 31/05/2023 19:18

My DH moved in within 6 months of us dating, we were 19, my parents just told us to keep the noise down 😂

CovetedAsFuck · 31/05/2023 19:19

Sarahtm35 · 31/05/2023 18:45

I wouldn’t let my 18 year old daughter live with her boyfriend. I would be blunt with them and say “I can hear you having sexual intercourse, please be more respectful to those you live with thanks”
and as a side note make sure they’re using BC or you’ll end up with a screaming baby in the next room.

This post reminded me of the MNer whose GP called condoms "the sheath"

I'm imagining it with extra-clear enunciation: "I can hear you having sex-u-al in-ter-course"

CovetedAsFuck · 31/05/2023 19:24

Found that old thread (it was 2009 Shock). Not massively on topic, but amusing

to still be giggling over my GP calling condoms.... | Mumsnet

justasking111 · 31/05/2023 19:25

I just reminded them that their bedroom was above the sitting room and any movement makes the floor boards squeak which can be heard throughout the house . Never heard a sound after that 😊

angelicaelizapeggy · 31/05/2023 19:28

Sarahtm35 · 31/05/2023 18:45

I wouldn’t let my 18 year old daughter live with her boyfriend. I would be blunt with them and say “I can hear you having sexual intercourse, please be more respectful to those you live with thanks”
and as a side note make sure they’re using BC or you’ll end up with a screaming baby in the next room.

How could you ‘not let’ your adult daughter live with her boyfriend? She could just go

bofski14 · 31/05/2023 19:33

Some of these replies are hilarious! Saying "Just so you know, I can hear you" is MORTIFYING! Especially if you just swan off afterwards leaving them feeling absolutely shamed. You should just say "I don't know what the neighbours were up to last night? Did you hear that banging? It woke me up". They know you heard "something", you can play dumb and they'll keep it down in future. Nobody needs to be obviously embarrassed. Obviously only works if you don't live in a detached house.

Tumbleweed101 · 31/05/2023 19:36

I'd make my child aware and then leave it with them to sort noise level or a new venue lol.

speakout · 31/05/2023 19:36

Not a pearl clutcher but I wouldn't allow my 18 year old to cohabit with their teenge partner in my home.
Why would anyone open their doors to another random teenager to stay?
I have no issue with my adult children having company on the odd occasion, and if that involves sex in the privacy of the bedroom, then I can turn up the TV.
But I don't have space or headroom for a lively couple in my home, hoggjng kitchen, bathroom and having noisy sex.
If they are old enough to cohabit then they are old enough to pay their own rent elsewhere.

BigglyBee · 31/05/2023 19:40

If I didn't bang on the wall, his brothers would! And they would be much less tactful than me.

ShandaLear · 31/05/2023 19:43

Just send him a text saying, ‘I can hear you shagging - can you keep the noise down?’

Or

Every time they start say, ‘Alexa, play Barry White everywhere’.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 31/05/2023 19:44

Shout "keep going, I'm nearly there!" when they sound like they are at the crucial point. That should stop it 😂

1idea · 31/05/2023 19:45

Ring the home phone number and say the neighbours are calling to complain!

Original poster
Plumspearsbanana · 31/05/2023 19:46

Loving these replies 😂😂

OP posts:
LoobyDop · 31/05/2023 19:47

Bang on the door and ask if they need to borrow condoms.

DeliciouslyDecadent · 31/05/2023 19:47

Maybe not what you want to hear, but why are they living with you?

I'd never have allowed that in a million years - for the very reason you say.

If they are old enough to live as a couple and they work, they are old enough to rent a place of their own (or live at home, single until they can.)

At 18 it is unlikely they will remain a couple forever ( they just might) so is he going to be allowed to live with every girlfriend he has in your home?

hookiewookie29 · 31/05/2023 19:47

I remember my Mum saying to me "You need to move the bed away from the wall"
That was all she needed to say.....

Haywirecity · 31/05/2023 19:50

The first time I'd ask them to keep the noise down.
The second time I'd knock and go into their room mid act and tell them to keep the noise down.
The third time I'd go in mid act with the rental column from the local newspaper.

WiddlinDiddlin · 31/05/2023 19:50

"Life lesson my lovelies - you're not as quiet as you think you are, and sound travels. It's not OK to make the whole house sound like a pornfilm soundtrack, I suspect even the neighbours can hear you! You can make all the noise you like when it's your own property but for now, keep it quiet!'

Don't hem and haw, don't be quiety and mousy about it - be bold and confident, look them dead in the eye as you say it! Then swiftly change the subject to something light hearted and unimportant like 'now, what's for dinner'...