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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hes taking a 45l hiking bag for hand luggage

283 replies

FriedBrainFood · 30/05/2023 21:33

Were a family of 4, me, OH, DS 6, and LO baby.
Flying out tommrow I will have LOs changing bag with all his bits and bobs. DS will have his little backpack with spare change of clothes, teddy and colouring. OH usually takes a grey normal sized backpack where we put doucments, snacks and other bits as hand luggage. We've used the bag on other flights it's also wearable for both of us (even though he has this obsession of hanging everything off it.) We are also taking 2 hold luggage and stroller.

Earlier I told OH that we need to put something in the grey bag he said I'm taking my new bag, I asked which one he said it's in the other room, I went and had a look and it's a FUCKING 45L hiking bag with waist straps and just a monstrosity. I said we dont need such a big bag there barley enough seating room. Plus I will have baby in the baby carrier, so will struggle to carry other things. Especially If ASD DS6 has a meltdown and I have to carry him.

From the past few holidays Ive realised for us it's best not to have lots of hand luggage as we never get space in the overhead compartments despite how early we get to our seats, so we've had to put stuff under the seats. OH is also overweight and takes up a bit of extra room, he ends up squashing me most of the time, he always leaves his puffa coat on for the whole flight and just looks uncomfortable. He eventually takes it off but there never any space so he tries to shove it behind my seat for me to use as a cushion, which I dont want, as I'll be holding baby so less room anyway. I've tried to explain myself and the reasons but hes adamant hes going to take it.

I had sorted the bags on friday so everything was manageable but now last minute hes decided take that hideous hiking bag. Hes not packed a single thing, I've done everything, even packed his crap. I'm just fucking pissed off with this type of shit that he does. He always does random shit like this last minute. He doesnt even hike, he hates walking. He won't ever use that bag again. I'm just festering because i know exactly what will happen tomorrow because hes so predictable but as always it will end up being my fault.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
UWhatNow · 31/05/2023 10:39

I cannot see what is amusing about a women having to be a mummy to a man-child she chose to marry and have children with. It’s utterly depressing in this day and age.

BadLad · 31/05/2023 10:41

As for stuffing his coat behind you on your seat... Why? How little respect does he have for you that you have to sit uncomfortably for his convenience? Don't put up with it, take it out from behind your back and shove it in his lap.

In his lap?

You’ve misspelled “up his arse”.

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2023 10:46

after asking for weeks on end he still hadnt put anything in the case

I don’t really understand this tbh. Why do people pack weeks in advance? I usually pack on the day, or if it’s a very early start, the day before.

SpringIntoChaos · 31/05/2023 10:54

You seem a little intense OP...I'm
not sure if I'm reading and seeing something different from others, but that backpack seems perfectly ok as hand luggage to me? Especially if he's only packed 7kg of stuff in it 🤷‍♀️ I usually take a similar backpack myself as it's so much easier to carry (as do many seasoned travellers!!).

And as for asking him to 'pack weeks in advance'...WHY??? This is completely unnecessary (bordering on controlling!!) Just chill out ffs!

The puffa jacket otoh IS unreasonable and you can legitimately tell him to fuck off 👍

TinyTear · 31/05/2023 10:55

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2023 10:46

after asking for weeks on end he still hadnt put anything in the case

I don’t really understand this tbh. Why do people pack weeks in advance? I usually pack on the day, or if it’s a very early start, the day before.

Do you have kids?
I used to pack the day before, but with kids need to think about it 3/4 days before so i can make sure everything i want/need is washed.

as to the Husband, I let him pack what he wants and get pissed off when he asks if i think it's enough - i just say i am taking x and y, up to you what you do...

one thing i do is split a change of clothes at least in hand luggage and over both suitcases in case one gets lost

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2023 10:58

Sure. I think about it beforehand, but I don’t do any packing until everything is actually washed and ready. But weeks and weeks? No.

Spanielsarepainless · 31/05/2023 11:02

I wouldn't be doing his packing but I would be ensuring that I had the documents with me. I start chucking holiday stuff for me and two dogs in the spare room weeks before. It's what works for us.

TinyTear · 31/05/2023 11:03

bridgetreilly · 31/05/2023 10:58

Sure. I think about it beforehand, but I don’t do any packing until everything is actually washed and ready. But weeks and weeks? No.

yes, fair enough, that makes sense (although i do like going to sleep the day before travel with most things packed...)

Yes weeks and weeks remind me of my parents who are 80 and leave the suitcase open for two weeks before they travel and pack as they go along for two weeks... actually they did this even when i was little so i guess it's just a them thing...

OpalescentFly · 31/05/2023 11:07

My cabin sized suitcase is 42l. A 45l rucksack which is much more squashable will be fine for most airlines (Ryanair and EasyJet excepted)

qazxc · 31/05/2023 11:08

Does tying or hanging stuff onto the bag not alter the dimensions? because he won't be able to stuff it under seat if he has travel pillows or other stuff attached to the bag.

pinkyredrose · 31/05/2023 11:08

I'm just festering because i know exactly what will happen tomorrow because hes so predictable but as always it will end up being my fault.

What will be your fault? He sounds like a dickhead?

FreezyWater · 31/05/2023 11:12

Honestly OP, it sounds like alot has led to this and you are not enjoying your husband in general, rather than this being entirely about the holiday.
It's totally OK to feel like that but try and seperate the two (so that you can at least have a decent holiday!)

RaspberryCloud · 31/05/2023 11:16

I need to know the source of the banging now....

Turfwars · 31/05/2023 11:24

RaspberryCloud · 31/05/2023 11:16

I need to know the source of the banging now....

Me too.

He's bringing dishes?

pippinsleftleg · 31/05/2023 11:31

I’m only here for the banging…

minisoksmakehardwork · 31/05/2023 11:34

I'm invested now, especially in the hammering. My bet is he's built a frame to the same dimensions as the airport bag check slots to prove his will fit in.

Otherwise I'm guessing he's taking camping stove and pans as well as a one man tent.

VeganStar · 31/05/2023 11:35

FriedBrainFood · 31/05/2023 09:22

@HoofWankingSpangleCunt

Little brain teaser for you... guess what the banging was when I went downstairs

your dh smashing up the rucksack because he’s realised you’re right after all and he can’t stand being wrong???

milveycrohn · 31/05/2023 11:45

I never pack for my DH. I did at first, but would pack the wrong things, but of course as he does it himself, then it's his responsibility.
All I do is remind him to check re washing, a few days ahead. He washes his own shirts, but I do the rest.
A rucksack should make it easier for your DH to help with DC, anyway.

Fiddlerdragon · 31/05/2023 11:46

Are you coming back to tell us??

Original poster
FriedBrainFood · 31/05/2023 11:50

I asked him about 2 weeks ago to take out what he needs and place it in the case in the spare room. I told him if there was anything that he needed to let me know then I can get it while I'm out shopping. Most of the things hes taking are summer clothing so he isnt really wearing them while at home as he mainly wears loungewear. From previous experience he starts frantically packing last min and washing clothes then will put damp stuff in the case to take.Im aware we have more than enough hold allowance but he refuses to take more than two plus we dont have much room in the car.

OP posts:
sadlittlelifejane · 31/05/2023 11:53

Do you even like him? I'd be pretty upset if my husband wrote a thread mocking me about my bag size, throwing a sulk because I packed more than he would have liked, and calling me a dickhead. Talk about red flags.

PriamFarrl · 31/05/2023 11:55

As said above I think the banging was some minor DIY job that has needed doing for months.

FlounderingFruitcake · 31/05/2023 11:55

I asked him about 2 weeks ago to take out what he needs and place it in the case in the spare room
I wouldn’t be impressed of someone told me to do this. It’s completely unnecessary. Especially if they continued on nagging me about it and then put 2 random pairs of underwear in the case to prove a point. I always pack the night before or day of. But then again I’m an adult who can manage to time a wash so stuff has time to dry, pack properly for myself and consider the whole family’s needs when deciding on what bags to take. Which is probably where you’re struggling; you can’t trust him to be a normal adult and manage this stuff appropriately. I’d be completely exasperated with Mr Puffer Jacket Pillow too. Poor you.

Original poster
FriedBrainFood · 31/05/2023 11:59

He went out at 1 in the morning to put the cases in the car then locked himself out the house. When I got downstairs at 8 I heard banging on the front door and assumed he popped out the the corner shop. DS opened the front door and OH loudly says 'are you dead to the world I was knocking, I was locked out since 1'. He left his phone in the kitchen so couldn't call me either. Funny as he usually has that phone stuck up his arse 24/7.

OP posts:
Earlystartsmakemegrumpy · 31/05/2023 12:06

Pottedpalm · 31/05/2023 07:54

@Earlystartsmakemegrumpy
Why do you need to quote OP’s original, quite lengthy post before making a comment? We have just read it.

I do apologise, how careless of me. I do hope I haven't caused too much disruption to your busy day. I will be more careful in future not to cause you such distress.