Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hes taking a 45l hiking bag for hand luggage

283 replies

FriedBrainFood · 30/05/2023 21:33

Were a family of 4, me, OH, DS 6, and LO baby.
Flying out tommrow I will have LOs changing bag with all his bits and bobs. DS will have his little backpack with spare change of clothes, teddy and colouring. OH usually takes a grey normal sized backpack where we put doucments, snacks and other bits as hand luggage. We've used the bag on other flights it's also wearable for both of us (even though he has this obsession of hanging everything off it.) We are also taking 2 hold luggage and stroller.

Earlier I told OH that we need to put something in the grey bag he said I'm taking my new bag, I asked which one he said it's in the other room, I went and had a look and it's a FUCKING 45L hiking bag with waist straps and just a monstrosity. I said we dont need such a big bag there barley enough seating room. Plus I will have baby in the baby carrier, so will struggle to carry other things. Especially If ASD DS6 has a meltdown and I have to carry him.

From the past few holidays Ive realised for us it's best not to have lots of hand luggage as we never get space in the overhead compartments despite how early we get to our seats, so we've had to put stuff under the seats. OH is also overweight and takes up a bit of extra room, he ends up squashing me most of the time, he always leaves his puffa coat on for the whole flight and just looks uncomfortable. He eventually takes it off but there never any space so he tries to shove it behind my seat for me to use as a cushion, which I dont want, as I'll be holding baby so less room anyway. I've tried to explain myself and the reasons but hes adamant hes going to take it.

I had sorted the bags on friday so everything was manageable but now last minute hes decided take that hideous hiking bag. Hes not packed a single thing, I've done everything, even packed his crap. I'm just fucking pissed off with this type of shit that he does. He always does random shit like this last minute. He doesnt even hike, he hates walking. He won't ever use that bag again. I'm just festering because i know exactly what will happen tomorrow because hes so predictable but as always it will end up being my fault.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 31/05/2023 14:51

GeraltsBathtub · 31/05/2023 13:45

What’s that face for? It’s a bit weird to not notice your husband has disappeared for 7 hours. She has a baby and a child with ASD so I doubt she didn’t wake up at any point in the night. Maybe she was hoping he’d walked out as she clearly doesn’t like him!

  1. No she probably didn't notice he hadn't come to bed if she was sleeping. You and I know nothing of the children's sleep habits so don't know if she woke up or not
  2. Even if she had woken up - who is going to assume their partner has taken it upon themselves to take the luggage out to the car at 1am and may be locked out?! You would assume they're watching tv. Or gone for a wee

The face is because based on what the OP has posted, surely you deduce that she noticed he was gone but fell asleep?

GeraltsBathtub · 31/05/2023 15:02

@ChiefWiggumsBoy I merely find it surprising that someone wouldn’t notice that their husband was missing for the entire night.

mathanxiety · 31/05/2023 15:26

Puffa jacket - take it out from behind you and throw it onto the floor, while looking him straight in the eye and saying clearly, "I said NO". Any other time he tries to override your objection with a physical act, do the same.

Unpack anything you've packed for him. Never pack anything for him ever again.

If you are carrying the baby he has to carry DS if a meltdown occurs.

His oversize bag will not get past the gate attendants. He will have to pay to check it.

TeaKlaxon · 31/05/2023 15:29

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 31/05/2023 14:43

Well if you bothered reading the OP's posts, maybe you would have seen she put the case in the spare room a couple of weeks in advance and told him to put stuff in as and when he had it ready to go?

Or maybe that they'll get on the plane and her DP will give her his coat to sit with as well as having the baby on her lap, and won't help with their other child?

I also have no idea about the bag - but combined with the other crap I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that she's the worse partner.

And she then packed for him on Friday. If my DP insisted on packing five days before a flight, she'd need to pack for me too.

So OP starts a thread implying a 45l bag is massively unreasonable as cabin luggage, wanted him to start packing weeks before the flight, did the packing herself five days before the flight (and complained that he hadn't done his own packing by that point).

So when that poster says they have to carry everything etc, I question how much of that is either exaggerated (like the unreasonableness of the backpack) or deriving from her own martyrdom.

In any event, OP obviously does not like her DH, so I'm not sure why she'd want to go on holiday with him.

TeaKlaxon · 31/05/2023 15:31

mathanxiety · 31/05/2023 15:26

Puffa jacket - take it out from behind you and throw it onto the floor, while looking him straight in the eye and saying clearly, "I said NO". Any other time he tries to override your objection with a physical act, do the same.

Unpack anything you've packed for him. Never pack anything for him ever again.

If you are carrying the baby he has to carry DS if a meltdown occurs.

His oversize bag will not get past the gate attendants. He will have to pay to check it.

The chances of that bag being rejected at the gate are very small.

Even at full capacity it is only very slightly above the limits. If it is even slightly below capacity it will be fine.

NattyCatty · 31/05/2023 15:56

Divorce him sounds like a selfish lazy fat slob who takes advantage of you and acts like a child!

BreviloquentBastard · 31/05/2023 16:11

This sounds horrendous. I love travelling but I can't imagine doing it with this amount of rowing, sulking and just general bad feeling the very day of departure. This is the part you're all supposed to be excited and giddy and coming up with fun plans for the trip, not bickering over hand luggage and making nasty posts about how fat and useless your husband is on the internet.

Genuine question, why are you with someone you seem to actively dislike and have so much contempt for? All you've done is spew absolute vitriol about him, I don't even speak like that about people I don't like, and yet this "dickhead" is who you've chosen to be with, holiday with, repeatedly reproduce with? Why??

Bluetrews25 · 31/05/2023 16:31

If only he'd thought to shout through the letterbox or shout up at a window....

Anyway....hope you have a holiday that is memorable for the right reasons, OP.

WisherWood · 31/05/2023 16:40

If only he'd thought to shout through the letterbox or shout up at a window....

Like a middle aged Romeo and Juliet who don't like each other very much.

AcrossthePond55 · 31/05/2023 17:48

Bluetrews25 · 31/05/2023 16:31

If only he'd thought to shout through the letterbox or shout up at a window....

Anyway....hope you have a holiday that is memorable for the right reasons, OP.

Nah. That would have solved his problem and taken away a reason to berate the OP.

Some people like to create their own drama simply to be able to punish another person.

3luckystars · 31/05/2023 18:11

WisherWood · 31/05/2023 16:40

If only he'd thought to shout through the letterbox or shout up at a window....

Like a middle aged Romeo and Juliet who don't like each other very much.

😂

pinkyredrose · 31/05/2023 19:12

FriedBrainFood · 31/05/2023 11:59

He went out at 1 in the morning to put the cases in the car then locked himself out the house. When I got downstairs at 8 I heard banging on the front door and assumed he popped out the the corner shop. DS opened the front door and OH loudly says 'are you dead to the world I was knocking, I was locked out since 1'. He left his phone in the kitchen so couldn't call me either. Funny as he usually has that phone stuck up his arse 24/7.

Are you not more concerned that he was stuck outside all night. I'm starting to think you're not actually a very nice person.

ChrisPPancake · 31/05/2023 19:44

Jeez @FriedBrainFood you don't like him very much do you?! Why are you going on holiday together?

chezpopbang · 31/05/2023 19:46

FriedBrainFood · 30/05/2023 21:50

When I told him it may not meet the baggage guidelines, i could tell he didn't think about that but his reply was it'll be fine. flying withJet2. The bag wont be full to the brim. But when I weighed it was 7kg and I still had a few other thing to put in.

@BungleandGeorge as I have babys changing bag I dont take one for myself because I wont really be able to carry another baby. Which is why, we normally just use the grey backpack that OH wears and I have baby on sling and can hold babys changing bag in my hand

Flew with jet2 a few weeks ago and they won't let him on with that. Refuse to carry the bloody bag or child if he chooses to take it. Also refuse the coat. Say I don't want a pillow. Start standing up to him

CoronationKicking · 31/05/2023 19:49

"His oversize bag will not get past the gate attendants. He will have to pay to check it"

Rubbish 🤣 it was barely over and jet2 aren't all that fussy. He'd have been fine

PuddlesPityParty · 31/05/2023 20:22

OP you sound like the issue.

PriamFarrl · 31/05/2023 20:43

Well I completed my first Ryanair flight today. After measuring every bag to the millimetre no one gave them a second glance.

TeaKlaxon · 31/05/2023 20:57

chezpopbang · 31/05/2023 19:46

Flew with jet2 a few weeks ago and they won't let him on with that. Refuse to carry the bloody bag or child if he chooses to take it. Also refuse the coat. Say I don't want a pillow. Start standing up to him

They would almost certainly let him on. As long as he only packed it about 95% full it would fit within their limits.

Otter1971 · 31/05/2023 21:09

Exh tried that once. They insisted not only that it went in the hold but because of too many straps it had to go in special luggage that had to be brought out to a specific point and we had to collect from a desk at the other end of the airport. Don't do it unless you enjoy inconvenience.

Lovemylaminator · 31/05/2023 21:58

OP seems to be milking the attention a bit now, it happens sometimes when posters get a positive reaction to their updates.

I rather doubt the hapless husband, who as the thread has progressed seems to have become larger and more clueless, was locked out of the house for seven hours. That seems incredibly implausible.

Anyway, the bag is fine if not overpacked and the earliest I would start packing before a trip is 2 days.

Emmamoo89 · 31/05/2023 22:10

PuddlesPityParty · 31/05/2023 20:22

OP you sound like the issue.

Yep she does..

MarinatemysoulinSprite · 01/06/2023 09:35

PriamFarrl · 31/05/2023 20:43

Well I completed my first Ryanair flight today. After measuring every bag to the millimetre no one gave them a second glance.

Ermmmm....because they were the right size?

Sissynova · 01/06/2023 09:47

@AcrossthePond55 Some people like to create their own drama simply to be able to punish another person.

You mean like the OP who has demonised her DH for not packing 3 weeks in advance for a holiday, picking his own bag and wearing a coat to the airport when he's cold?

Sounds like a whole load of drama over nothing actually simply to vent her frustrations onto her DH.

Scalottia · 01/06/2023 11:14

I don't think OP likes her husband very much. Yet, she still reproduced with him. I despair.

knobheeeeed · 01/06/2023 12:15

The more this thread goes on, the more dysfunctional this relationship seems.
You sound like a bit of nightmare tbh. You are too controlling about when he packs, what he wears (ie. the coat) and which bag he takes. He sounds like a manchild who can't organize himself but you are enabling this by basically giving in and packing for him.
The being locked outside thing if true is awful. Do you sleep in separate rooms? How come you didn't notice/care where he was when he was missing in the night? Did you really not hear the hammering and banging until 7.30 in the morning? Yeah he's an idiot for getting locked outside, there's the manchild in him again, but you sound uncaring and callous.
Awful. The entire situation. You aren't suited to each other.