Gutted I was accused of shoplifting today

[anyoneanyoneanyone]

So I went to Aldi to look for sone antihistamines for my hayfever. I couldn't find them and I was in a rush to get my daughter from her friends. I couldn't get out as I have quite a big pushchair with my toddler in. The queues were so big the only way I could get out was through the entrance. As I was wandering out in my own world a staff member ran out and said excuse me love can I check under your pram? And she did and said it was fine but I sobbed all the way home. I'm a single mum and have been since my daughter was born and life is a struggle. I feel violated and judged and despairing really that they see me like that just because I look young and have a pram. I worked in retail before I had DD so know what it's like but what the hell could I take from Aldi 😳I only went in for sone hayfever wipes ☹️

When this happened to me I just said no and reminded them they have no power to detain so to move out of my way , which they did . I knew I was being watched round the shop and I have an inclination as to why so I just don’t tolerate certain things

Lidl recently thought Id walked out with a gigantic bag of nappies (I also paid for gigantic shopping), out of all the things I oculd have nicked, would I have gone for the biggest most obvious items?
Well I had a receipt for everything anyways and I just found it funny. Im not young and I looked pretty good on the day, it's just one of those things, they don't judge you personally, just trying to be careful.

Well... yes, of course she would. If you were in fact stealing, you'd still have stolen after leaving the store and crossing the car park ffs. To be honest, I am also a single mum and I've happily allowed supermarkets to check if there is any confusion (security tag not removed mainly) without blowing it up and being overdramatic like this.

A few years ago I went to Waitrose, put my shopping under my pram. Then went to Sainsburys to get something else I needed. I was stopped by a member of staff when leaving who thought I had stolen all the stuff in the pram. It left us both feeling embarrassed, me for being accused and the staff member for accusing me.

I was a regular in Sainsburys and did feel uncomfortable for a while even though I’d done nothing wrong.

I don’t think it’s personal to you, it’s because you have a pram and were trying to go out the wrong way. Prams are favourite places for thieves to hide things and you do fall under suspicion just for having a pram! If they thought you’d actually taken something they’d have done more than a quick scan under the pram. It is obviously slightly annoying but you can’t blame the shops really, as long as the ‘search’ isn’t intrusive

I was in Aldi the other night and an employee was wrestling with a thief (male, no pram) who had loads of meat filled in a blue basket but had not attempted to pay. He got it back and the thief ran off.

it would be upsetting for me too but I don’t think you need to take it personally.

You are CHOOSING to feel violated and judged - you need to frame the story differently instead of telling yourself that it's because you look young and have a pram. You weren't actually accused of shoplifting - it's probably shop policy that they do random checks. Personally, I wouldn't give such an incident a second thought.

I went to aldi a couple of weeks ago. The checkout woman asked to look in my bags before she began scanning the shopping. I'm not going back.

FFS.

What you say" you would have done is irrelevant.

What you say you would have done is irrelevant.

You wandered round and then left via the entrance without buying anything. You also had a big pram. Many people who shoplift might do similar behaviours.

You didn’t shoplift. You know you didn’t and now they know too. It’s just a mistake. Much like if you went to the toilet on the train between train checks the conductor might ask to check your ticket when they see you. Not because they think you’re a liar who didn’t pay, but because some people hide in the toilet to avoid ticket checks.

Try not to take it to heart. It wasn’t personal, this lady doesn’t know you. All she saw was someone walk round the shop then leave through the entrance without paying for anything.

I left self pay without actually paying and was chased down 🤦🏽‍♀️. Tbf I had just got off a long flight feeling disheveled and disoriented but it was mortifying. Don’t worry you won’t be the only person who thats happened to. In my case it probably did look to everyone I had just pinched some croissants and 2 bottles of wine. So it could be worse, you were vindicated, I looked like a baked goods thief. Don’t take it personally at all. Big unmumsnetty hug to you, you sound like you are feeling quite sad at the moment.

Don't take it personally. I remember being followed round Tesco by the security guard with DD in the pram. That was 18 years ago so not a new thing. Think prams are probably prime shoplifting equipment for those that want to so they're going to check.

I think it’s really hard being a young mum too! Things that wouldn’t bother you when you’re older seem more hurtful because you’re already sometimes looked down on socially.

I remember coming home really upset once because I picked DD up from nursery and she had some bizarre tights and shorts combo on after a toilet accident - I had emptied her bag out to clean it and forgot to pack her any more spare clothes. Sounds like a small daft thing, and if it had happened with DD2 I would have laughed at how daft she looked. But I felt a lot of pressure to be seen as a ‘good mum.’ My children were always the neatest, tidiest, hair done, everything they needed in their bags etc, because I worried that if my kid had messy hair or the wrong packed lunch people would be looking to judge me as a bad mum.

This isn’t quite the same but recently in my local Sainsbury’s I noticed 3 men hanging around the security area, it made me feel a bit uneasy because they weren’t actually targeting anyone just joking around, but I felt uneasy. Turns out they were undercover security guards! I can’t have been the only person to complain and say I’d shop elsewhere because next few times I’ve gone there they’re not there! This is one of the local Sainsbury’s where you don’t scan your receipt to exit the doors, the other nearby ones you do scan the receipt to open the exit doors.

I was in Aldi a couple of weeks ago and after I put my shopping on the conveyor belt I opened my bags in the trolley so I could launch the shopping in at Aldi checkout speed. The person on the till made me lift them all out and shook them to check nothing was hidden in them. I made a joke about her calling me a thief and she said ‘you might well be’. Company policy or not I was so annoyed I’ve not been back since. Bet that showed them 😂

I do scan and go at Tesco. I'd bought about £200 worth of shopping and I mustn't have scanned a couple of items on a random check. Totally undeliberate, the old handsets were really crappy and you couldn't always hear the beep very clearly over the noise in store.

I'd clearly been flagged as a potential high risk shoplifter so the next few times, I swear I had half to all my trolley scanned in the random checks every shop. My entire shop was laid out right by the entrance (so all very public). Worse still, the lady kept stopping and helping other customers to authorise alcohol etc. It took a good 15 minutes of mortification to finish it.

But I'm of the view that I don't want to subsidise shoplifting. Yes it was an accident but I'm sure it's not uncommon with scan and go customers. So I understood. Embarrassing but you have to see the funny side.

Since then, I've taken double the length of time to check every item is displayed on the scanner. Also, it's easy to think you've scanned it but you've clicked the remove item button by mistake. Lesson learnt (and the new handsets are a decent volume).

Slowly my shoplifting rating is improving and the random checks are diminishing...!

OP, I completely understand and sympathise with how you feel. I was twice accused of stealing my teens. I hadn't, on either occasion but still nor, forty years later, I can vividly remember the embarassment and shame and shock that anyone would think I could do such a thing.

Try to console yourself with the knowledge that the reason you are SO upset is because you are a fundamentally honest person who would never stoop so low. Your character is stronger and better than lots of shoppers. They didn;t stop you because they judged you personally, they stopped you because lots of people stoop to depths you don;t. You ar ebnetter than that and should be proud of that.

You sound like you need cheering up. I actually did shoplift once, accidentally. I was about seven and we used to be allowed to get sweets from the corner shop on a Friday. I was in there with my mum and my doll in a toy pushchair. As I was putting sweets into my tub I dropped one - a fruit salad since you’re asking - and scoured around on the floor but couldn’t see it anywhere. Got home and turns out I had fallen down between the seat of the pushchair and my doll’s back.

I FELT SICK! I barely got any sleep that night for thinking that the police were going to come for me. In the morning I went to tell my mum but she and my dad were in the middle of a blazing row, so instead I went back to the corner shop and tried to leave 1p on the counter (I am old, that is how much a penny sweet cost then) and then run away. But the shopkeeper said: “Whoops - you’ve dropped your pocket money!” And gave it back to me. So I went back home and decided to bury the sweet in one of the gro-bags in the greenhouse.

I then spent a horrible weekend feeling absolutely terrible until I plucked up the courage to tell my mum all about it at teatime on Sunday. She made me dig it up and then we went into the shop on Monday and offered to pay. It was fine. I was an idiot! Does that make you feel better? I literally felt sick for 48 hours!

@anyoneanyoneanyone I got asked to show my shopping bags were empty before they starting putting my shopping through the till - he said they are ramping up checking to try to reduce shoplifting - was nothing personal....😁

I got yelled at today by a bus driver. I had 3 children with me (one was young enough that I shouldn’t have had to pay for them). Unfortunately I had no cash on me so had to buy tickets via an app, however it doesn’t sell single child tickets so I had to pay for a family one costing me almost £6 more than I should have paid for the kids. When I scanned my phone the bus driver wasn’t paying attention and I was halfway up the stairs of a double decker when I could hear him screaming at someone. It took a while to realise he was screaming at me ‘Oi, you need to pay for the bloody kids’!! When I said I bought a family ticket he just mumbled ‘it doesn’t show that on the screen’ when I know for a fact it fucking does, he just wasn’t looking. Luckily I had enough time to think of a good retort and gave him a piece of my mind about the way he spoke to me over HIS mistake when I got off 😬

I suspect it is nothing personal at all; you just ticked a few "shoplifter" flags by having a pram, wandering around and then leaving without buying something.

I get stopped regularly for checks in Tesco. I think it's because I always look harassed and hurried and disorganised and have handfuls of stuff because I've forgotten bags and won't buy one! I rarely get stopped in Morrisons, which surprises me because I spend ages in there, have all my kids with me most of the time, and often spend 2+ hours there in the cafe and shop and nappy changes and and and and.

They should make it easier to leave the store if you arent buying.

The exits are always blocked, so ypu can only go past the tills. The tills area is really narrow and blocked with people.

You have to really push past people. They should have a route to get through if you arent buying anything.

When I worked at b&q we caught 2 men duct taping dust sheets round their waists under their shirts and a bloke tipping some paint out into his 5ish year olds lunch box because he didnt want to pay for a whole tin when he was only short a little bit. Would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for the kid screaming because he'd spoilt her lunchbox. 🤣

Retail workers suspect EVERYONE. It wasn't personal.

Honestly, don't sweat it, this has happened to me in casual business attire so it's just random. Probably you are so upset because you were in a rush, adrenaline pumping and were shocked to be stopped....but honestly try not to take it personally. The staff member has probably been told - do 10 random checks during your shift, or even check everyone that goes out without buying anything.

Put your feet up and have a cup of tea xx