Gutted I was accused of shoplifting today

[anyoneanyoneanyone]

So I went to Aldi to look for sone antihistamines for my hayfever. I couldn't find them and I was in a rush to get my daughter from her friends. I couldn't get out as I have quite a big pushchair with my toddler in. The queues were so big the only way I could get out was through the entrance. As I was wandering out in my own world a staff member ran out and said excuse me love can I check under your pram? And she did and said it was fine but I sobbed all the way home. I'm a single mum and have been since my daughter was born and life is a struggle. I feel violated and judged and despairing really that they see me like that just because I look young and have a pram. I worked in retail before I had DD so know what it's like but what the hell could I take from Aldi 😳I only went in for sone hayfever wipes ☹️

You weren't violated or targeted, what a ridiculous reaction.

Violated? Massive overreaction

Maybe. But when you're spending your life trying to prove you're doing the right thing maybe it's default mode. It's how I felt, when you're conditioned to play by the rules and have worked in retail maybe it's different.

I agree I could have taken food or whatever. The perspective has really helped though from everyone 🥹

Don't worry about it. DH and I were accused of stealing some bird seed from Sainsburys a while ago. I'd paid by self scan and hadn't bothered with a receipt for a couple of quid bag of feed. Security marched me back to the self scan where I had to point out which till I'd been on. I ended up showing them my bank account online where you could see a payment taken for the exact amount. Quite why they'd think I'd be stealing bird seed of all things is beyond me but ok. Don't take it to heart, nobody but you will remember it beyond today!

Surely if you have worked in retail you understand her train of thought when she saw you leave?

And even odder that with that experience you use the word “violated” for her looking in the pram basket.

This, feeling violated is a bit OTT.

I am guessing that that the OP is white :)

My mixed race nephew claims I'm yellow but I'm really brown at the moment

She might have been worried that you were a mystery shopper and that she was going to get into trouble for not following some instruction she’d been given. It may not be about you at all.

I got stopped coming out of a clothes shop - I had to go somewhere so I bought an outfit and then changed into it in the changing rooms and walked out the door - was stopped as they obviously saw on cctv I was wearing a different outfit - I showed them my receipt and my other clothes in my bag and was on my way. Any slightly suspicious behaviour will hilight you for checks - in your case going in with a pram, picking things up and putting them down and then going out through the entrance.

It’s nothing personal, they are militant in Aldi. I’m not young and look fairly respectable and the check out girl shouted ‘are you going to pay for the toilet roll under your trolley?’

I had a massive pack of loo roll under the main trolley bit and of course was going to pay for it but was too big to put on conveyor belt. I replied ‘give me chance I was just about to lift it for you to scan!’ I can see how it would have embarrassed some people.

You can't actually be accused of shop lifting until you've left the store though. So it would need to be outside. If you've got nothing to hide. Why wouldn't you let them check?

What could you take from Aldi 🤔, I dunno a bread maker, chain saw, patio furniture, that middle aisle throws up some real surprises 🤣. Stop being silly, you ran out the entrance with a pram, of course you looked shifty much like anyone else would whatever their age in a rush and pushing something large they could stash stuff in!!!

I bought a blow up boat from Aldi - probably my craziest ad hoc purchase

👆This!

I was once accused of fare dodging too - had a legitimate ticket from London to Brighton but there were two trains leaving at the same time (literally to the minute) and I got on the ‘wrong one’. I paid calmly for a replacement ticket, all the time with the conductor telling me he could have fined me, and the other passengers sitting adjacent to me were fuming on my behalf - but I was fine until I disembarked at London Bridge and went to meet my then-boyfriend at Be At One for drinks. We were at the bar and he said: “What would you like?” And I burst into tears! 😳When he asked what was wrong I was doing that stuttering breathing thing saying: “T…the… c…c… onductor…. fff…fffare dodging.” I think the injustice just suddenly hit me. Plus the fact I had paid double for the same journey! So I do know how it feels! I got a free glass of wine out of it though as the bar tender was angry on my behalf too! My boyfriend however thought it was very funny and kept asking me for the next few dates: “What do you want for dinner? Are you going to cry?!” Ha-bloody-ha!!

Mate, if this caused you to sob all the way home it seems like perhaps you aren’t coping very well at the moment. Have you got people around for support? Friends, family that you can talk to?

If it helps you feel any better, my local Aldi have really tightened up procedures around checking bags etc recently. I've been going there for years and after I load my shopping into the belt I always spread out my empty bags open in my trolley so that I can quickly throw everything in them as they scan the items at the checkout. In all those years, not once had the checkout staff ever asked to check under my empty bags, but in the last few months they ask almost every time (even staff who have been serving me for years). They said head office has got really strict with them recently, so I assume it's a national policy to always check these things now.

I assume they have tightened up similarly about checking prams etc, so I really wouldn't take it personally (though I know that's easier said than done!).

I was in aldi yesterday and I line my trolley with my bags once I’ve loaded the shopping onto the belt. The cashiers checked underneath my bags to check I wasn’t stealing anything. It was fine. He told me that someone had a £6 tub of Nutella under their bags. As for what would you steal from aldi - I would steal the Edinburgh Gin they sometimes have in.

Hope you’re ok - it wasn’t personal.

My Aldi have started asking everyone at the checkout to show the inside of their reusable shopping bags.

I've bought net bags now.

I'm glad I posted as it made me spit my tea out thinking about stashing a blow up boat or breadmaker under the pram 😂

Yes it's definitely more being anxious/not coping but nothing anyone can make better. I guess I took it too personally because I'm trying my best to do everything right.

🤣🤣 got to love the middle aisle! Was a running joke for years that whenever my dad went to Aldi he'd come home with something random that was the special buy that week, well it wasn't even a joke, he did 😆.

My 2 toddlers would sometimes grab things at their level and stuff them under the pram!! I would take whatever it was back to the shop if I saw it before we left the area. Bracelets, hair bows, quite a few pairs of socks, a kiwi fruit. This was when they were 18 months ish so definitely wasn’t on purpose 🙈

The store I work in doesn't do random checks, as we want to ensure the right people are targeted, instead we're talking on our headsets and keeping a close eye on any potential thieves alongside the security guard is. I don't know about other shops, but we loose 20% of profit to thieves, so I guess that's the reason others operate on random checks - totally understand you'd feel uncomfortable though. Hard lesson learnt though, you cover your own back if shopping in Aldi, ie you're ultra careful not to give them any doubt.

I mean this kindly OP, but you're going to have to develop a much thicker skin than this! Parenting often means doing things like:

Approaching parents of children who have been mean to your child (or worse, god forbid), whilst knowing that they could blow up at you.
Dealing with any accusations of your child having done the same.
Standing your ground (politely of course) with doctors/teachers etc when/if necessary.
Hopefully none of this happens but you get my point.

I know what Anxiety is like though, I suffer myself. You can’t let things like what's happened today get to you.

It was likely because you went out through the in door. I know how you feel though. When my DD was about 3 I went to Woolworth's and bought her a dressing gown. I saw the sales assistant take off the tag. I paid and left the store. As I went out the doors an alarm started flashing and making a loud sound. I froze. A security guard came running over and asked me to step back inside. Everyone was looking at me. I handed him my receipt and he started scanning around me as if he thought I was stealing something. The scanner beeped on the dressing gown. He knew I'd paid for it because he saw the receipt. Then he took it back to the sales assistant and she took off a second tag that had caused the alarm to go off. Then he brought it back for me. I never got an apology and I never shopped there again.

It’s the pram. Using a pram is a well known shoplifting method, used by individuals as well as organized gangs.

Don’t take it personally.

The store I work in doesn't do random checks, as we want to ensure the right people are targeted, instead we're talking on our headsets and keeping a close eye on any potential thieves alongside the security guard is. I don't know about other shops, but we loose 20% of profit to thieves, so I guess that's the reason others operate on random checks - totally understand you'd feel uncomfortable though. Hard lesson learnt though, you cover your own back if shopping in Aldi, ie you're ultra careful not to give them any doubt.

Probably the same place I worked 💅 🧼