Page 34 | not to share my table at outdoor cafe

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 2023-05-29T09:26:33+00:00

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up. All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok. So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table? I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself. AIBU?

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/05/2023 21:08

Blossomtoes · 30/05/2023 21:06

How often are people asked to share a table on the Tube?

Well I travel in the buffet car it’s uncommon, maybe in steerage they share

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:14

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/05/2023 20:59

I can confirm no eye contact,no talking,no chitty chatty on the tube. Thems is the rules
i carry a book all times so no spontaneous interaction

Rules don’t apply if you have a dog. Don’t take your floof on the tube unless you are prepared to have people pull kissy faces at it and, if it interacts, then you inevitably will have to as well. Name, age and dog flavour as a minimum.

DontGoThereYet · 30/05/2023 21:27

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:14

Rules don’t apply if you have a dog. Don’t take your floof on the tube unless you are prepared to have people pull kissy faces at it and, if it interacts, then you inevitably will have to as well. Name, age and dog flavour as a minimum.

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Don’t worry. I would move carriage!

Toomuchfun · 30/05/2023 21:32

How many people were with here. If just her and one other then I think its big enough that you have your own space. If she was with 3 other people I would say no, you would be close together and get no privacy. Just my opinion.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:35

DontGoThereYet · 30/05/2023 21:27

Don’t worry. I would move carriage!

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Don’t worry I’m definitely not pulling kissy faces at you.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:35

Toomuchfun · 30/05/2023 21:32

How many people were with here. If just her and one other then I think its big enough that you have your own space. If she was with 3 other people I would say no, you would be close together and get no privacy. Just my opinion.

I thought she said ‘couple’.

Toomuchfun · 30/05/2023 21:45

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:35

I thought she said ‘couple’.

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I think a couple offered to let her share their table but she said no thank you and waited then when she went in to order a woman came in and ask if she was finished with her table and if we could share the table.....so not sure how many the "we" is.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:46

Toomuchfun · 30/05/2023 21:45

I think a couple offered to let her share their table but she said no thank you and waited then when she went in to order a woman came in and ask if she was finished with her table and if we could share the table.....so not sure how many the "we" is.

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Ah I might have assumed in that case. Fair play.

Meadowland · 30/05/2023 21:54

YABU.
What happened to kindness...?

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 22:01

Meadowland · 30/05/2023 21:54

YABU.
What happened to kindness...?

What did happen to kindness. People see someone happily enjoying their table space and they think they have the right to disturb it.

That's not kind.

Meadowland · 30/05/2023 22:05

They just wanted to sit down for goodness sake.

Devora13 · 30/05/2023 22:10

@ShirleyEyeRosebud Sorry you've had some awful responses from people who are incapable of taking another's perspective and who have never learned good manners. MN can seem a bit of a microcosm, which explains why the world is going to hell in a handbasket quite frankly.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:11

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 22:01

What did happen to kindness. People see someone happily enjoying their table space and they think they have the right to disturb it.

That's not kind.

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Yeah because that was their primary motive - every Bank Holiday they go out, mark places on map that they KNOW have picnic tables and then turn up in order to disturb everyone. I know you’re getting off on this but really.

EbonyRaven · 30/05/2023 22:14

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:11

Yeah because that was their primary motive - every Bank Holiday they go out, mark places on map that they KNOW have picnic tables and then turn up in order to disturb everyone. I know you’re getting off on this but really.

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😁

Christinatherabbit · 30/05/2023 22:28

I have autism ADHD and terrible social anxiety. A times Sharing a table with people even if they ignored me completely would have put me totally on edge, made me rush to get away and to be honest feel quite stressed. There's no explaining it and I HATE being this way. It's so so embarrassing so because of the reaction from the other posters I would normally have said yes and then spent the whole time feeling awful probably not finished my food/drink then left and been so upset with myself it would have possibly ruined my entire day, and made me exhausted. I wish I wasn't like this but I think it's great that you put yourself first. You waited and were looking forward to a treat and being relaxed I'm sure they didn't have to wait long and then could have also had a nice experience. I totally and utterly understand. Some things are hard to explain

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 22:30

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:11

Yeah because that was their primary motive - every Bank Holiday they go out, mark places on map that they KNOW have picnic tables and then turn up in order to disturb everyone. I know you’re getting off on this but really.

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🤣 well I would suggest they get a better hobby then. Selfish sods.

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 22:31

Christinatherabbit ♥️

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:32

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 22:30

🤣 well I would suggest they get a better hobby then. Selfish sods.

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😂Can they come train spotting with you next time? Seems a fair compromise.

AnnieSnap · 30/05/2023 22:40

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:11

Yeah because that was their primary motive - every Bank Holiday they go out, mark places on map that they KNOW have picnic tables and then turn up in order to disturb everyone. I know you’re getting off on this but really.

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😂🤣😂🤣 yep! This thread is mad isn’t it?

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:43

AnnieSnap · 30/05/2023 22:40

😂🤣😂🤣 yep! This thread is mad isn’t it?

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Total riot! 😆😂😆😂

Dibbydoos · 30/05/2023 22:53

YANBU, I hope they took that OK.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:56

Christinatherabbit · 30/05/2023 22:28

I have autism ADHD and terrible social anxiety. A times Sharing a table with people even if they ignored me completely would have put me totally on edge, made me rush to get away and to be honest feel quite stressed. There's no explaining it and I HATE being this way. It's so so embarrassing so because of the reaction from the other posters I would normally have said yes and then spent the whole time feeling awful probably not finished my food/drink then left and been so upset with myself it would have possibly ruined my entire day, and made me exhausted. I wish I wasn't like this but I think it's great that you put yourself first. You waited and were looking forward to a treat and being relaxed I'm sure they didn't have to wait long and then could have also had a nice experience. I totally and utterly understand. Some things are hard to explain

That’s so very hard, but I hope you have coping mechanisms to deal with and some good friends? I would hate to think of you not going out because of this. Also, to be fair, there was nothing to suggest in the OP that this is the situation here. I have a friend with autism ADHD and we have some mutually agreed guidelines in place when we go out. It’s the opposite experience to be fair, he asks inappropriate questions and wants to be friends with everyone. So we have agreed that we’ll find a place (in fact we book ahead) where we have our own space and if he steps over the line with over familiarity then we have a code word to pull the situation back. It’s not his fault, he always says that it’s just how he is programmed, and he’s right, but when I am with him it’s a hit and miss sometimes trying to strike a balance for everyone. Hope you’re OK, it was a brave comment to share.

TheRussiansAreComing · 30/05/2023 23:23

I’m with you OP.
Occasionally I might let someone join, but usually it’s a firm no.

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 23:29

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:32

😂Can they come train spotting with you next time? Seems a fair compromise.

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Only if they pay me for my skills and expertise in identifying different trains for them. thomas the tank the tank engine

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 23:32

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 30/05/2023 23:29

Only if they pay me for my skills and expertise in identifying different trains for them. thomas the tank the tank engine

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That’s fair enough. Although I prefer Gordon and have no idea why!